All for you, Brother
by Phandom-Doodles
Summary: When Loki is sentenced to death, Thor desperately wants to save him. He finds a way but Loki isn't so sure. (Slash, dub/con or non/con, possible TW, the dark stuff is mostly the first chapter, then everything else will be aftermath, Mpreg, MxM, don't like, done read.) This is a dark fic. Do not take that warning lightly.
1. Chapter 1

"Come now brother, don't be shy."

Loki had scrambled as far away as he could from Thor and was now backed up in the corner of his brothers room, eyes wide with fear, mouth muzzled and hands bound in front of him. He had seen Thor enter the room but that's not what scared him. It was the two, rather large dildos; straps attached that set him off.

After Thor had returned Loki home, the all-father had sentenced Loki to be executed but Thor had pleaded with him to change his mind. He didn't, once the all-father had made a decision, he rarely went back. Thor had then asked that he be allowed to have Loki spend his last month's living with him in Thor's quarters. He wished to say goodbye to his brother. After a while, Odin had finally agreed, as long as Loki was bound, gagged and there were guards at every door of Thor's room.

"You're okay Loki; you're going to be fine. You know, I'm only trying to help you." Funny way of showing it, Loki thought, but he could only whimper as a response.

Thor was a couple of feet away from him now, Loki was struggling and mewling but it was getting him nowhere, Thor watched him with a small smile until Loki calmed down and was just left breathing heavy.

Thor bent down so that he was eye level with his brother.

"Now, Loki, I need you to be cooperative with me. A little over two months and you will be dead, but I can save you, I just need you to help me out okay?" Loki didn't see how the two large dildos came into 'saving' him but he wasn't going to find out without a fight. He knew Thor was stronger than him, he barely had a chance but he would struggle, and whine and kick and fight until he passed out. He stared at his brother defiantly, not challenging him, willing him to stop, angry but pleading.

"Don't look at me like that Loki; you have yet to hear my plan. I asked to have you brought to my room for your last week's here. It doesn't matter how beaten you are, how sorry you are, nothing will change the All-fathers mind about your execution. But, one thing father will not be able to ignore. No execution may be brought upon a woman who carries life in her womb."

Loki's eyes went wide and he shook his head slightly, he can't be serious, surely he _wouldn't_...

"Don't you see brother? I know you're not technically a woman but father cannot have you killed if you are with child. It's perfect. It buys us time."

Loki was shaking his head frantically now, hands straining against the bonds, leaving deep pressure lines in his wrists. Tears of panic and fury burned his eyes as they formed.

"Do you not see Loki? This is all you have, there is nothing more you can do, you will _die_ brother!" Thor put the two dildos down on the floor and grabbed Loki's bonds and put his other hand round the back of Loki's head, just like he has done so many times before, it should have felt familiar but to Loki, muzzled and bound, trembling in the corner of his 'brothers' chambers, it just felt wrong.

"I cannot lose you again, not yet, do you understand? We must do this!" With that, he pulled on the bonds on Loki's hands as he stood up, dragging the younger god up with him. Loki struggled and let out moans of panic but Thor picked him up effortlessly and put him down on his bed. Father would not be happy about this but it was all he could do now, to save Loki.

Keeping one hand on his chest he pulled at Loki's clothes, simple by as guardian standards. A green over shirt and plain black trousers, no shoes and no undergarments were given to criminals.

He couldn't get the shirt off of him without ripping it so he did just that instead, tearing it from the neck, down the middle and ripping the sleeves to pull the material off him. Then he undid the clasps at the top of Loki's trousers, the god bucked wildly trying to throw him off but Thor just leaned onto the hand on Loki's chest and he stilled, tears running from his eyes now.

He lay still, breathing raggedly through his nose as Thor opened his trousers and began pulling them down with one hand. Loki didn't move as he felt them slipping lower, revealing his mixed sex. Thor had never seen him completely naked before, he wasn't even sure how Thor knew he was intersex.

Thor pulled his trousers off the rest of the way, pulling Loki to the edge of the bed, now completely naked, he looked down at his brother's cock. He parted the younger god's legs slowly and Loki turned his head away in embarrassment. Thor breathed in deep as he looked at his brother. He was so beautiful, Thor had never seen anyone like him before and he could feel himself growing hard as he imagined what he was going to do.

He left his brother, lying displayed on the bed and went to fetch the dildos he had left on the floor in the corner. Loki didn't move he knew there was no point; Thor would just wrestle him back to that position anyway. Thor also decided to get some oil to and returned to where Loki was, heaving and crying subtly on his bed. Thor stroked his brother's leg and shushed him gently, like he did when they were younger and Loki had snuck into his room, scared because he had a nightmare. It did little to calm him down though, Loki jumped and completely tensed.

"Relax, brother, I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. But this will be easier if you don't fight." He dipped his fingers into the small bowl of oil and brought them up to Loki's sex, ignoring his cock and gently stroking them across the younger god's first entrance. Loki whimpered in shame and tried to move away from his brothers touch but Thor's hand just followed him, one finger slipping inside and stroking his inner walls. Loki whined again, more tears running down his cheeks.

"Hush, brother, it's okay, I'm going to make this nice and easy for you." He set a gentle rhythm, his finger moving in and out slowly, before adding a second finger, making his brother whine a little louder in discomfort. Thor didn't add any more digits yet, nor did he add any more oil. He would wait until Loki became aroused enough to smooth the path himself.

After a while Loki finally became more giving, his entrance becoming wet and allowing Thor's fingers to move easier. Loki's breathing changed and struggled a little differently now, his whines sounding less panicked, more _desperate_.

Thor smiled. "That's it brother, this doesn't have to be difficult for either of us." Thor moved down so he could watch his fingers disappearing into his brother's sex. He knew Loki would try his best not to show his arousal but Thor could tell, the way his stomach twitched, his breathing uneven. He might not like the situation but at least he could enjoy the process.

Thor added a third finger and Loki hummed out loud, if not for the muzzle, it probably would have been words. Thor pulled his hand away, coming back up to look at his brother's face.

"I want you to enjoy this Loki. I'm helping you, don't forget that. I shall fill you with my seed and our child will keep you alive." Thor leaned down and kissed his brothers neck, dragging his tongue along his collar bone, before heading downwards, kissing his way down Loki's body, and not missing a spot that might make his brother enjoy this more.

His tongue reached Loki's cock, now half erect and Thor took it into his mouth, tongue swirling around the head, feeling it firm up nicely in his mouth. He bobbed his head and licked for a few moments until he felt Loki was hard enough, and then he hollowed his cheeks and _sucked_. Loki called out from behind the gag, hands balling into fists, hips bucking upwards, making Thor pull back, his brother's cock leaving his mouth with an obscene _'pop'_.

He stood up taking off the top half of his clothing as quickly as he could. Loki just lay still breathing, not daring to move or make a sound. He also refused to look at Thor but he tensed again when he could hear the older god undoing his own trousers. _Oh no_.

The weight of the situation came flooding back to Loki, what his brother was about to do and he panicked, struggling to get off the bed, he didn't care if it was hopeless, he just needed to get away from his brother, show him that he didn't want this.

Thor grabbed hold of his legs as he tried to get up and pulled him back to where he was before. Holding Loki down, he quickly rubbed some more of the oil onto his own cock, just to be sure, before lining up with a struggling, mewling Loki, and pushing himself in. Loki stopped moving, eyes wide as he was breached by his brother. Thor let out a grunt at the feel of Loki around him. He pushed the last bit of himself into Loki's sex and stopped for a few moments, breathing deeply, stroking along Loki's thighs, kissing his chest and neck.

"Oh Loki, you don't even know how good you feel, so _tight_ around me, brother." Loki could feel his cheeks burning. Thor took Loki's bound hands and put them around his neck, into a sort of forced embrace.

After he felt Loki had stretched enough to accommodate him, he pulled out almost all the way, and pushed in and damn if that wasn't one of the best feelings he had ever experienced. Even Loki moaned, though it was half pleasure, half shame. Thor pushed in a little harder, watching Loki's face, saw his eyes squeeze together and knew he was enjoying this.

Quickening his pace, and leaning on one hand, he reached down and took Loki's cock into his other hand, the younger god throwing his head back with a loud whine, face red, eyes screwed shut.

"Look at me Loki." Loki didn't, he couldn't look at his brother while they were doing this, he wouldn't. Thor _squeezed_ his cock and rubbed at the head roughly and Loki's eyes shot open, Thor leaning above him, he had no choice but to look at his brother. Thor smiled down at him.

"It's okay to enjoy this Loki, you are allowed to. Now..._come for me brother_." He whispered the last part as his hand sped up, pulling Loki closer to his release but Loki didn't want to, he couldn't let go like that because of his brother, he closed his eyes and tried to hold down the fast approaching orgasm. Thor leaned down, speeding up his thrusts again, tugging his cock almost painfully now, and bit into his neck. Loki cried out, spilling between them, insides clamping down on Thor's cock and practically sucking his orgasm from him, Thor moaned into his neck as he filled his brother with his seed.

They lay still for a while, breathing heavily; Thor had stayed hard, even after his orgasm and was still deep inside Loki as they breathed. Loki wasn't paying attention to anything, his eyes were closed, breathing difficult because of the gag. Thor reached to the side of him and grabbed the first dildo. He pulled out and quickly replaced his cock with the large object.

Loki whined in surprise.

Thor hushed him again, stroking his hair while kissing and licking at the sweat on his neck and chest.

"Shhhh brother, we need to keep my seed in there somehow."

Thor took the straps on the end of the dildo, still sticking out of him and clasped them about the younger god's thighs, so it could not slip out.

"You enjoyed that, I know you did, I can feel the evidence running down my stomach." He lifted his body up, tilting Loki's head down, to show him the way his cum was running down his torso. Loki felt his face flush again, more than it already was, but he relaxed his head back, just glad it was over. He hoped Thor would let him bathe once he had unplugged him.

But Thor wasn't nearly done with him yet.

Thor lifted up fully off his brother and Loki breathed a little easier, only to be flipped over onto his stomach, making him whine in confusion, eyes going wide but his brow furrowing.

"Now, brother, correct me if I am wrong, but I have heard that people like you, can be bred from either entrances, hmmm?" Thor had one hand pressed onto Loki's back, holding him in place while his other hand roamed lower, fingers slipping in towards his _other_ entrance. Loki struggled again, putting in a new effort; he needed to stop this, stop Thor now! He moaned out in panic but Thor chuckled.

"Something tells me, I'm right, aren't I?" He pushed his finger into Loki, _dry_. Loki froze, eyes squeezing tight, groaning long and loud, trying to breathe properly. Thor told him he wouldn't hurt him. What was he doing, why was he doing this?

Thor pulled his hand back and Loki sagged against the bed, breathing hard, letting out whimpers he couldn't even control now. Pleading was getting him nowhere with stopping him but he could try to get Thor to at least use something. Loki lifted onto his elbows and turned to look at Thor, eyes pleading now, begging him to use something, he whimpered at his brother hoping he would understand. Thor wasn't that stupid, he knew it was hurting his brother.

He smiles reassuringly at Loki, leaning up to stroke his hair gently.

"Its okay brother, I've got you, you're okay with me." He dipped his fingers back into the oil, returning his hand back to Loki's entrance and rubbing his fingers gently against his hole. Loki jumped but, feeling the oil, let out a relieved groan and flopped back down onto the bed.

Thor came up and kissed along the smooth wet skin of Loki's back, he inserted one finger, thrusting a couple of times before inserting a second one, Loki hissed through his nose at the burn of the stretch but he relaxed back down, the sooner Thor was done with this, the sooner he could wash and rest.

Thor thrust his fingers in and out, getting deeper, trying to find the spot that will make Loki relax and enjoy it, because damn, he was tense, even after his orgasm. He curled his fingers and angled his thrusts. He heard Loki let out a shocked groan and knew he had found it. He smiled to himself.

"Am I the first to touch you in this way brother?" Loki didn't respond he tried to keep defiantly quiet; he would not make this better for Thor.

"Loki, you're blushing like a shy virgin, you don't have to answer me for me to know." He pressed and rubbed _harder_ at the spot inside Loki and the younger god had to squeeze his eyes shut and bit his tongue to stop his moan. Curse his body's betrayal.

Thor pushed his free hand under Loki's stomach and Loki knew what he was doing, he ground his hips into the bed as hard as he could to stop him but Thor easily forced his hand under and felt how Loki's cock had grown hard again, his smile grew bigger.

"Does it feel good brother? Do you want more?" He wrapped his hand around Loki's cock and stroked in time with his thrusts. Loki moaned, unable to stop himself, too tired to try. Thor wasn't going to stop any time soon; he leaned forward next to Loki's ear.

"Come on brother, you can do it again, give it to me little brother." Thor bit Loki's ear hard and Loki lost it, pulsing into Thor's hand for the second time, his hole clenching down on his brothers fingers, which he kept thrusting even after Loki had finished his orgasm.

"That's it brother, so _beautiful_ when you come undone like that. It seems you have a thing for biting to, am I right?" He bit along Loki's shoulder and down his back as he pulled his fingers out, using the cum on his other hand to slick up his cock, he lined up to Loki's entrance, leaning forward again, arms either side of Loki's body. Biting down on Loki's shoulder and _thrusting_ in, everything in one go, Loki screamed from behind the muzzle, hands clawing into the sheets below him. He held his breath and clenched painfully on Thor's cock, making Thor hiss and let go of his shoulder.

"Ahh, damn, relax Loki. Brother you need to breath and relax, you wouldn't want me to move like this, and believe me, I will." He started to pull out and Loki let out a choked grunt of pain, followed by a lot of more panicked grunts, begging Thor to stop. Holy shit, stop, that hurts...stop...stop..._please! _

Thor stopped moving and waited until he felt Loki relax a bit around him. It took the younger god a few minutes to compose himself enough to do so but after a while, Thor felt his passage loosen and he smiled.

"That's it; see how much easier it is now brother?" He started thrusting slowly, listening to the little whimpers Loki couldn't control. This felt much too good to Thor. He looked down at all of his brother, his wet, hair, sweat running down his shoulders, some pooling into the dip in his back. His hands were bunched into the sheets, trying to ground himself. Although Thor couldn't see all of his face, he could see how flushed his brother was, could hear the small noises loki tried to stop, his face damp and scrunched up in what the older god knew was pleasure, trying to hide it from Thor, almost trying to hide it from himself.

Looking down lower he could see his own hips smacking up to his brothers behind, could hear the wet noises of the sweat on their skin, mixed with the actual noises coming from where they were joined, it was so beautifully _obscene_, Thor wasn't sure he could last long with this. Could he get Loki to come again? He wasn't sure the god could if he wanted to by now.

Loki whined out an impatient noise, wanting Thor to hurry up and the older brother sped up his thrusts, his cock punching into Loki's prostate, making the god moan loudly. Thor's thrusts went rigid as he released into his brother. Loki could _feel_ his brother's cock pulsing into him, even as Thor continued with little thrusts through his orgasm rhythm picking back up once he had his bearings again.

Loki moaned at him to stop but Thor was picking up his thrusts again, still hard, how in Hel could he still be _hard_? Loki had heard rumours about his brother's endurance in the bedroom but this was ridiculous, surely he at least needed a break?

Thor was still going, laughing now at his brother's surprised whimpers.

"We want this to work Loki; I'm not taking any chances with your life, even if you would." He thrust even faster than he had before and Loki could only mewl and wait for it to stop, his behind was sore, he was sure his entire body would be covered in bruises and bite marks after this, he was hot, sweaty, tired and drooling under his gag, he needed to clean up, needed to compose himself. This was not how he dealt with things, he was smart, sharp tongued and snippy, not a melted mess, relying on someone else to keep him together, _he was not this!_

Thor reached round and grabbed Loki's cock again, now it was just painful, over sensitive. Loki whined long and loud, he sobbed, he screamed, he struggled and drooled even more but Thor somehow _ripped_ out another orgasm from him which was more painful than pleasurable at this point and Loki was done. He sagged completely, refusing to move, breathing roughly through his nose. Everything was just too _much_, too much _friction_, too much _stimulation_; he didn't want to feel anything.

After how long, he had no idea anymore, he felt Thor stiffen and pulse inside him again. Oh he hoped, prayed that this was it, no more, kill him, please, someone kill him, he couldn't do more.

He whimpered yet again as he felt Thor pull out, quickly pushing the second plug into place and strapping that one round his thighs to. Loki felt full, he felt full and _dirty_, _sticky, used, wrong!_ He needed to clean. Come on Thor, he could be clean now; he had done what he wanted, _thrice_. Just some warm water and sleep was all he wanted now.

Thor pulled off his brother and grabbed his ankles firmly, flipping Loki back over onto his back and pulling him to the corner of the bed, legs either side of the tall bed post. Loki looked up confused. High up the bed post he could see two cuffs that had been connected. His eyes went wide as he realised what Thor was doing. He wriggled, pulling his legs away, kicking and groaning. _No...Please...nononononono...please!_

Thor wrestled his legs back and dragged him up so that Loki was lying on his upper back, legs and lower half up in the air and Thor chained Loki's ankles to the bed post, keeping him almost completely upside down.

"This is for your own good Loki. You _will_ become with child from this, you have to, it's this or death!"

Death, Loki thought desperately...death..._death_...please...someone, _kill him_. Make it stop; kill him now he couldn't do this, not after everything!

Thor leaned down over Loki and kissed his head before leaving and going to the washroom. Loki kicked and screamed and fought against nothing, crying and sweating, still feeling full, much too full. He was covered in fluids, so many fluids, sweat, spit, seed, he was sore, he ached he wanted to rest, this was cruel. _How could his brother do this to him?_

His brother wanted him to live, so he would breed him. But what afterwards, the child would be born, and then Odin would kill him anyway. Besides no half-breed child would ever become heir to the throne. Odin might even kill the child, he might ignore the rule and have Loki executed, never letting anyone find out he had even been pregnant.

_Nothing good could come of this. _


	2. Chapter 2

Thor stormed into the throne room, where a worn out looking Odin was resting on his throne.

"You sentenced him to death? Your own _son_!"

"He is not my son!"

Thor stopped at the bottom of the steps leading to the throne, looking up defiantly at his father. He couldn't understand how Odin could throw away years of parenthood so easily.

"Father...you raised him as your own. He is alive because of your doing; you made him who he is..."

"I didn't raise him to be a monster! That _creature_ down in the dungeons is not who your mother and I put years of our love and care into raising. He is a frost giant, always was, always will be. It was foolish of me to think I could help him when he should have died on that night the war ended!"

Thor looked up to his father, to his King and shook his head.  
"Surely...surely there is something you can do...another way, imprison him, take away his magic. Make him a slave, something! You can't just _kill_ him..."

"My decision is final Thor, I have given Loki his sentence, and he shall face what he himself, has earned."

"Father...you c..."

"ENOUGH!" Odin stood up, his voice echoing around the hall. "I will speak of this, no more! It is done, and you would do well to remember of whom it is in which you speak to."

Thor just stood for a few minutes, not daring to speak just yet. He was too angry; he did not want to regret his words. He could not let Loki be killed; his brother was still in there he knew it. He could make a case for him, he just needed time.

"Then can I make a request?" The All-father looked down at his son, unsure whether to humour this or not. He flicked his hand dismissively and nodded his head slightly.

"I wish to have Loki brought to my chambers, for the remainder of his time in this life." He kept his voice respectfully low. Odin raised his eyebrows at him.

"What could you possibly want with him in your quarters for longer than a month?"

"If that short amount of time is all I will ever get with my brother, then I will see to it that I leave behind nothing I wish to have said. I need to be able to say goodbye, father, do not deny me that...please!" Thor bowed his head. Odin said nothing for a few minutes, contemplating Thor's words. Thor could be planning to help him escape, but his son knew that if that happened, Loki would be executed on sight. Even Thor would prefer to spend the last bit of time he had, with his brother, rather than risk something as inevitably tragic as that. There would still need to be precautions.

Odin nodded his head once. "Very well...but. He will be bound at the mouth and wrists; you do not let him out of your sight, not even for a minute, lest you leave him with the guards. There will be two guards at every entrance to your quarters. If there is any suspicion that he is up to anything, he will be ended immediately. That is my only offer."

Thor beamed, and then tried to pull his face back into composure. He got down on one knee, placing one fisted arm across his chest and bowed his head.

"I thank you father."

"Loki is known for his ability to lie and trick. You would do well to remember this son. "Now, away with you." Odin turned away and left Thor to go and ready his rooms for his brother.

He knew one way that he could at least buy some time for his brother, which would give Thor a chance to build up his case, plead it to the courts. In the meantime, he would need to gather some things, if this was going to work, he would need to think of everything.

The first thing Thor did was head straight down to the great dining hall. It was empty, save for a few servants running around. Thor asked one of them to fetch him a case of wine and keep them coming. He was going to need this one, Loki wasn't going to like this idea, and he knew that without needing to talk to him. But they didn't have long and the younger god may not like this but Thor figured if Loki wanted to live, he would understand. He would see that Thor was just trying to save him. He somewhat ignored the way that all this already had him unbelievably aroused. He could not think like this with Loki, it was simply about breeding, which was all. He had fantasised about this stuff since he was young. When he first started having sex, women would often tell him to slow down, be gentler, but the way they whined it just made him want to go faster, be _rougher_. He could feel himself hardening at the thought of doing this to his brother, with him chained up and gagged to, how could he not, the little whimpers he would let out, begging him to stop...no! He needed to work this one out properly, it wasn't about enjoying it, it was about Loki, and it was the only way.

...

Thor's head felt liked Mjolnir was sitting in top of it. The light sliced into his rooms, making his face scrunch up in pain. He groaned and rolled onto his side, willing himself to go back to sleep but he knew that the pounding in his head was not going to let up any time soon. Damn, how much had he drunk?

He rolled over to his side, pulling at the covers to hide his head from the light, but the covers were weighed down and wouldn't move. He kicked at them but the weight didn't move. He rolled back and sat up, looking to see what they were snagged on and...Oh _shit_!

_He got carried away._

Thor stared in shock at the scene before him. Oh shit, shit, shit, _shit_! How had he let this happen?!

Loki was out cold at the end of his bed, legs cuffed high up onto the bed post, lying very awkwardly. He looked bruised and sore, looking down his, still naked body and...oh..._The plugs were still in!_

Thor scrambled off the bed and to Loki's side, taking his face into his hands and tapping his cheek to wake him up. He stopped when he heard a groan and Loki stirred.

"That's it...come on Loki, wake up. Okay, good boy that's it, come on Loki, you're alright. It's going to be okay." Oh Thor, too far...much too far!

Loki's eyes blinked and he looked around, unfocused, confused. He tried to speak but it just came out in a muffled groan since he was still gagged, but Thor couldn't do anything about that.

"Shhhhh, don't try to speak, okay? I'm going to get you cleaned up okay?" Loki was still completely out of it, he looked exhausted. Thor jumped up and undid the cuffs around his feet, but held onto both ankles so that they wouldn't just drop down, since the chances were, he would be pretty cramped up in this position, and he needed to lower his legs gently. So he did, though, Loki still groaned in pain, furrowing his brow and shutting his eyes.

"It's okay, brother, I know, I know, I'm doing my best, it's going to be okay. Oh Loki I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking, I wasn't thinking, I was drunk." He knew that was no excuse, and that apologising at this point would do nothing, but that didn't stop him from repeating it like a mantra to his little brother.

After he had managed to lower the young gods' legs down to a normal height, he lifted his brother into his arms. Loki tried to protest, squirming feebly, and letting out little weakened whimpers. Thor changed his mind and put him back down. Running into the washroom, he filled the bath up with warm water he had servants fetch for him. In the water he put herbs for pain relief and healing, the he returned to his brother.

Stroking his hair to keep him calm, Thor gently spread his legs and looked at the two plugs. He could not just remove them, taking them out dry would not only be difficult, it would be agony for Loki and Thor didn't want to even think of what damage it could do. So he picked up his brother again, Loki, becoming a little more aware, made slightly more effort to wriggle out of his arms but Thor could still see the fight lost in him.

In the washroom he placed Loki into the warm water. Loki breathed in sharp and groaned out, not expecting the water, but he soon relaxed straight into it. His muscles relaxed more and Thor knew how Loki had always enjoyed bathing and being clean. He always took pride in his appearance. And he would again, Thor thought.

Getting a soft sponge, he dipped it into the water and started to wash over Loki's skin, removing the sweat and various other dried fluids, clinging to his skin. Loki was pretty much lying on his back, he couldn't sit up because of the plugs, but Thor would remove them, once they had gotten wet and smooth enough to pull out. It would still hurt but this way would be easier.

Loki was waking up properly now, looking down at his body, frowning, and then looking up at Thor, who was still cleaning him. His eyes went wide and he struggled brutally, pushing Thor's arms away, the cuffs on his wrists making this difficult, throwing water everywhere, and yelling in panic behind the muzzle.

Thor tried to hush him, tried to tell him it was okay but Loki was not listening to him, he was trying to crawl his way out of the bath, wincing a lot, groaning in pain, feeling the plugs moving awkwardly inside him. He finally stopped struggling and just glared at Thor. He tried to hum at him to get out and Thor knew what he was asking but he was going to have to sort his brother out first.

"Hold on, I will go, I will give you your privacy but you need to let me help you first." Thor's hands moved to Loki's thighs and Loki's eyes widened in horror. No...Not again...Thor no...Please! Loki felt a click when Thor undid the clasps for the straps around his thighs and he froze, breathing harshly, knowing exactly where this was going. Had Thor really not had enough after last night, he needed to degrade him further?

He felt Thor's hands near his sex as he tried to grip the first plug. He _pulled_ it slowly and Loki groaned loudly in pain. He felt like the plug was pulling his inner walls out with it. He grunted the syllables. Thor...stop...please...stop...Thor...nonono...STOP! Loki was almost screaming as Thor kept pulling. He was saying something to him but Loki didn't care, he just needed this to stop, he was already sore but this was just agony, even in the water, it did little to ease the way.

He let out a relieved but pained groan when the plug finally gave and came out completely, glancing down he saw cum and blood tainting the water by his hips and thighs and felt tears burn at his eyes but he would not spill them. Not now.

Thor looked up at Loki, giving him a slight look of sympathy but he knew there was still another one to remove, all he could do now was wait for Thor to pull it out, then he could be left alone, he could bathe, he could compose himself. This was how he dealt with things, by himself, quietly, without onlookers.

Thor gripped the second plug, still currently wedged inside his brothers' backside and pulled. Loki's screaming started anew. Thor tried to stroke his thigh as he pulled, tried to give him some comfort but Loki was gone, he was writhing and screaming, face going red from lack of air. Thor decided to just get on with it, putting a little more force into the pull, the plug finally came out and Loki slumped against the side of the Bath, eyes rolling back into his head, continuously humming out relieved breaths. A lot more cum invaded the water.

Loki laid his head back and turned it away from Thor, breathing painfully, and furiously. He heard Thor sigh and move, then he looked back and his brother had left the wash room, he had even closed the door. Loki lay still for a few moments, listening intently. When he figured Thor wasn't going to come back just yet, he tried to move round, wincing hard at the pain in his lower region.

The burning tears came back but this time he did nothing to stop them. He breathed harshly and brokenly through his nose, trying to keep the sobs down but after trying that for a bit, he completely _lost it_ and splashed around, smashing his cuffs off the side of the tub, kicking at anything that was near enough to knock over or push off the sides, bottled of oils and herbs and scents. When there was nothing left in reach, his attack turned on himself, smacking at his own head and legs, screaming at himself in his anger.

When his violent outburst finally died down and he just broke, and cried, struggling to breath with the gag and how had he was sobbing, his face scrunched up in his pain and his exhaustion. Thor had _raped_ him...his own...no, Thor was not his brother, but that didn't change what he had done.

As he slowly stopped crying he managed to somewhat wash his hair in the fluid stained water, not feeling clean at all but managing to wash some of the grime away. He threw the soft sponge across the room and it hit the wall with a 'splat'. Instead he turned and grabbed the scouring sponge, very rough, actually designed for cleaning armour, he's not even sure why Thor had it in here but he didn't care. He dipped it into the water, covered it in oil and _scrubbed himself_ _raw_, all along his thighs, his chest, neck stomach, even his quim and backside. Nothing helped him to feel clean and it all just hurt. He finished, covered in scratch marks, his skin red and swollen. He looked like shit, he knew it.

He sat in the bath until the water was cold. He knew Thor was waiting for him on the other side of that door. Even Thor wouldn't be stupid enough to completely leave him alone. A sense of dread filled his chest and stomach. He was going to have to go out there at some point. Some point soon.

...

While Loki had been washing, Thor had removed all covers on the bed, wrapped the two plugs in them and given them to a servant, asking them to dispose of it all. He had cleaned up all the oil, taken the cuffs down from the bed post and fetched Loki some clean clothes for when he finally came out.

During this process, he could hear Loki screaming and crashing around. He had thought about going in to him but decided to let Loki do what he needed to. He would send a servant to clean it after.

He sat in a chair, in the corner of his rooms and waited, hearing Loki's screaming die down until it was all silence. He felt kind of shitty about this. Stoic, defiant Loki was hard to deal with but secret, broken Loki was so much worse. He wanted to hold his brother, help clean him up, stroke his hair, whisper little things to him, and look after him. He also wanted to brutally fuck him again. He tried not to think about it but that had been the best sex he'd ever had and he wanted it again. He knew it wasn't going to happen but it didn't stop him wanting. Shit, he was fucked up.

After what seemed like an eternity, the washroom door opened and a cleaner, slightly more composed Loki, appeared from behind it. At least, he looked better when standing still. As soon as Loki spotted his clothes, he slowly walked towards the bed, doing his best to show no pain, but Thor could see how he limped and walked funny. It was so wrongly arousing.

Thor stood up and made to go towards Loki as Loki grabbed the clean trousers, but the younger god jumped back, sending a warning hum in Thor's direction. Thor froze and Loki continued to put his trousers on, not taking his eyes off of Thor. He struggled to manage his trousers, but there was no way in Hel he was going to get his shirt on.

Thor watched Loki, noticing; only now, just how thin he was, with that thing on his mouth, he can't have been fed since coming back from Midgard. They didn't have to eat quite as Midgardians did. Sure, they were supposed to eat every day, but it took them much longer to die of starvation, than it would for a mortal. That didn't stop them from looking like shit in the process. Loki was beautiful, Thor had always thought so, both innocently, and not quite so innocently, but he looked unhealthy, his hair, flat, eyes dead, skin paler than usual. He looked worn out, not just in the 'get some sleep, you'll be fine' kind of way. He looked broken. Thor hated that, but knowing some of it was because of what he had done, sent a slight shiver down his spine.

Loki gave up trying to get the shirt on and dropped it back onto the bed. Then he walked straight past Thor, towards one of the two doors that lead out of Thor's chambers. Thor turned to follow him.

"Loki, you cannot leave here without me, you must remain with me at all times, this was the All-fathers deal, to keep you out of the dungeons for the remainder of your time before the execution. Loki, listen to me..." He surged forward, taking Loki's arm in his hand to halt his brother. Loki twisted around so fast his long black hair, hit Thor across the face. The expression on Loki's face was so full of anger and hatred, so full of venom, Thor instantly stepped back, letting go of Loki, who just breathed furiously at him.

Loki narrowed his eyes accusingly, shaking his head, before he turned back around and left Thor's rooms, giving Thor no choice but to follow, if he wanted to keep Loki out of the dungeons.  
Loki stormed through the corridors, now ignoring the pain between his legs. Looking back he could see that Thor was right behind him, he broke into a run, darting as best he could around the corners, keeping at enough of a distance, Thor could not quite catch him, but the older god was not far off and was gaining on him. Loki was becoming out of breath, not made any easier with the gag round his mouth. He spotted Sif heading just round the corridor ahead of him. He leaned forward and sprinted the last distance between them, crashing straight into Sif, knocking them both down. He quickly scrambled on top of a struggling Sif. Forcing her to meet his gaze, his eyes saying only one thing to her..._Help!_


	3. Chapter 3

Thor, as well as more guards than they would possibly needed caught up with them and dragged Loki off of Sif. Thor yelling at them to be careful with him. Loki winced and grunted at the rough handling. If he fought them enough they would kill him. Yes! Loki quickly head butted the guard holding him from behind and kicked the second guards feet from under him, the other guards were on him in seconds, kicking at his sides, back, stomach, face, anywhere they could reach. Loki screamed out in muffled agony and Thor roared at them to stop, they were killing him. They are killing him!

A single voice called out and everyone stilled, everyone except the quivering, bloody mess that was Loki, curled up on the floor, grunting and groaning in pain. Everyone looked to the end of the corridor, by the entrance to the throne room, where Thor's mother and queen of Asgard had just come from. Her expression was neutral but her eyes were piercing. She walked forwards towards the group, bending down to look at Loki. He looked back up at her weakly, even managing to smile at her with his eyes, still breathing harshly through his nose, stomach heaving slightly from the beating it took.

"What is the meaning of this?" She asked surprisingly calm, as she stood up, turning to the guards. They all started blabbering on, pointing towards Loki, then Thor, then Sif, who was still looking at Loki, with absolutely no clue, what to do. Frigga gave up on the guards and turned to Thor, staring at him expectantly. Thor didn't even know where to begin.

"Someone had better answer." Now Odin had arrived, standing in the doorway of the throne room. He too looked at Thor, everyone looked at Thor. Even Loki managed to look in his general direction. Thor couldn't answer, he knew how it would sound as soon as he opened his mouth.

"Thor. Speak. Why is Loki in the middle of the hall being beaten by the guards?" Odin's voice was booming, deep, demanding, everything a kings voice should be. Thor looked away from all eye contact, he couldn't face it as he spoke.

"He...he tried t-to run...he crashed into Sif." Thor felt horrible as he answered, this was all out of context, he wasn't trying to escape, he didn't actually know what Loki planned to do, where he planned to go.

"And he attacked her, then attacked us sire, see?" One of the guards pointed to his bloody nose from Loki's sharp head butt. Thor felt the panic rise, they would kill Loki for this. He had to do something.

Odin continued to stand tall, seemingly un wavered by the events in front of him. "Guards...take him to the execution room. Prepare the sword."

There were different types of execution by sword in Asgard, the criminal had no right to choose. It was chosen based on his title and based on his crime. An honourable execution was to die by a single sword, straight through the heart, from the front. To die facing the object of your ending was the most respected. To die by sword through the heart from behind was considered cowardly, as was beheading. Beheading was always done from the back of the neck, with the condemned in slave position, which was on the knees, forearms on the floor, almost like hands and knees but not. This was by far the most shameful means of execution and Thor didn't have to question which one Loki was going to get.

Loki laughed from behind his gag, his eyes lighting up deliriously, but Thor could see how the little colour Loki did have in his face, drained along with Thor's, Sif's and Frigga's. Two guards lifted Loki up by his arms and started to drag him away, towards the last room Loki would ever see. Frigga looked to Thor, her eyes begging him to do something.

"WAIT...father, no...you can't execute him..." Thor ran forward to address Odin. The guards dragging Loki halted when the All-father lifted his hand.

"Thor, I had warned you of this before. If Loki showed any sign of betrayal, he would be executed immediately. Do you recall me telling you this?"

"Yes, father, but...you don't understand..."

"Was he, or was he not seemingly attempting to run away, and did he, or did he not, also attack the guards?"

"Technically yes...but, father, you can't..."

"I think you will find I very well can, my son, now enough, it is done, don't make this mess worse." Odin began to follow the two guards as they started dragging Loki off again. Loki looked straight at Thor, still laughing manically. Thor's blood ran cold. Frigga made a noise between a sob and a shriek. Thor was out of time there was no other choice.

"HE IS WITH CHILD!"

Odin froze in his tracks, as did the guards. Loki stopped laughing immediately, wide eyes boring into Thor's and Thor saw true fear in his face, true fear like he had never seen it before. This was something even Loki could not hide.

Odin turned round, angry eyes on Thor. He barged up to Thor and Thor had to fight hard not to back down. He forced himself to stand his ground. Odin was soon standing before him.

"What did you say?" He hissed dangerously.

Thor fought to keep his voice even. "H-he is with child. He cannot be executed while their is life growing within him." Sif, who had moved to Frigga's side to comfort her watched on completely silent, looking deeply confused at Thor.

Odin looked back at Loki, who was looking at Thor in wide eyed horror, before returning his glare to Thor.

"Do you have proof of this?"

Thor knew the whole thing was a long shot anyway but he had to try.

"I...it is too early to prove anything. Take him to the healers, surely they will be able to tell." That was an even longer shot, no one can tell after a day, not even a full day, merely a few hours. Loki smiled again, he knew it was too early to tell, and no one would want to wait for him to show signs.

"When was the supposed child conceived?" This time it was Frigga who spoke up, her voice a little shaky but she stood strong.

Now Thor really was lost for words. "Uhhh..."

"Come now, Thor, I can't help if I don't know." What was she going to do? Loki's face dropped again and he started grunting and struggling against the guards. Clearly Loki knew something, he didn't.

Come on Thor, now was the time, man up, you knew you would have to face this!

"Uhhh...yes-yesterday..."he cleared his throat. "Yesterday uhh...evening." He saw his mothers eyes as she realised what that meant, saw how her whole face changed from concern to an unbelieved shock. She whispered "...no..." Shaking her head slowly, a hint of question in her face, and when Thor lowered his gaze, he confirmed her unvoiced worry. Her hand went up to her mouth again, tears springing up to her eyes.

Odin seemed to just stand there, mouth slightly ajar in surprise. Did this mean that, that he? He...with...with Loki? What? His face getting slightly more red as he put the pieces together in his head. They were all looking at Thor and then seemed to simultaneously look at Loki, who continued to writhe and scream behind his gag. HES LYING...LIAR...LIAR...FUCKING LIAR! He tried to say but it all came out in incoherent, smothered yells.

Frigga comprised herself, flattening her clothes down with her hands, just to give her a reason to move and break the silence. She then, slowly walked towards her struggling son, he was pleading with her, they could all hear it in his voice, shaking his head, crying by now. Please...please, mother...no...please!

She stroked his face lightly, brushing his hair back a little with her hands. Her touch so soft, Loki could have easily relaxed, if not for the current situation. He looked directly into her eyes, sobbing and shaking his head. No...no...no...nonono...please...noon...no...NO! Frigga kept making small little hushed sounds, whispering sweet, calming things to her youngest son, telling him it would be okay, everything was going to be okay. After a while, she gently took the hand that wasn't on Loki's face, carefully moving it down to his abdomen, then a little lower and pressed in lightly, closing her eyes. Loki stilled and quietened, watching her with wide eyes, waiting for the telltale sign that she had or hadn't found...

She gasped, her eyes opening, looking directly at Loki. Loki knew she had found it. He started struggling again, face going red as he panicked. No, please, kill me...please...someone...KILL ME!

She whispered to Loki, something that no one else could hear but Loki calmed down a little, his face returning to its usual shade, breathing roughly through his nose.

Frigga stood up, graceful as she ever was. And turned to no one in particular.

"He is, indeed, with child. Thor is correct, he cannot be executed while another's life lies within him. As such, I would suggest he is taken to a healer at once, which in fact, I shall take him myself, as I do believe the, rather one sided, scuffle I interrupted, had resulted in a few blows to Loki's stomach."

With that she turned back to Loki, putting her arm under one of his, pulling him away from the guards. Loki let her, not having heard much of that bit. He was pregnant. He had kind of known. Although his magic had been bound, it still flowed within him, it detected the small bundle of nerves in the bath earlier that morning but Loki hadn't wanted to believe it himself. To hear it confirmed out loud, in front of others, he could not deny it then, then it became real.

Frigga helped him all the way to the healing rooms. The healers cleared a table and gently helped him lie down, many rumours had spread about the extent of Loki's crimes. It wasn't often the healers in here had to deal with 'convicted criminals' so they were a little cautious of him, but they also remembered his title as former prince and son of Frigga. Plus he was bound and gagged, with no magic, he wasn't much if a threat for now.

Frigga kept stroking Loki's hand whilst they checked him over, cleaning small cuts, applying herbed salve to his bruises. She talked to him about nothing in particular, keeping him calm with sweet whispers and hushed words of comfort. He was feeling very distressed at this, he looked at his mother, trying to communicate with his eyes. After he had calmed a little bit, she stood up and went to retrieve something before coming back. She gently tilted Loki's head and he could hear a clicking. Straightening his head back up, she slowly pried the muzzle off from his mouth. It was a very tight fitting contraption, and it left deep, deep pressure marks around his mouth, also making it very painful when it pulled away. As well as the mouth cover, there was a rather large piece attached to it, which went inside the wearers mouth. It wasn't wide, but flat, his mouth didn't have to open much to fit it in but it spread out a bit, his tongue trapped underneath, stopping him from being able to move it. His tongue ached when it first moved, not used to such a movement any more.

He spent the next minutes just moving his tongue around his mouth and opening and closing his jaw, getting used to the idea that he could speak again. Though he did struggle for a while, almost like he had forgotten exactly how to physically form words. His tongue felt kind of numb and really weak. He could speak, he was pretty slurred but his mother understood, she hushed him for the time and told him to take it slow. Frigga also took away the bindings on his wrists and he moved them about, feeling the bones crack a little, stiff. She turned round and fetched a cup from off the side, putting a small amount of water in, not nearly enough for how Loki felt.

"I know you're thirsty but you need to do this slowly, so that's why I'm giving you such a small amount." She handed him the child sized cup and he drank the water down in one gulp, savouring the feeling of the cold fresh water inside his stale mouth. The next time she gave him a cup, he swirled a bit around his mouth, spitting it out before quickly swallowing down the rest. She made him wait a few minutes between each cup but smiled as she watched how he enjoyed each drink.

After quite some time, Loki was feeling slightly less thirsty, and was forming words a bit better.

"D-do...you...nnn-ot wishhh to c-onnng-raduuuulate m-me on thhhhe wond-wonderful nnnews?" He didn't want to talk to his mother in such a bitter way but he couldn't seem to help it. She looked at him, her expression pained. Looking down he whispered. "I'm sorry." Then he felt her hands on his face again, lifting his head up to meet her gaze.

"It's okay, Loki, you have nothing to prove here, please, speak openly my son." And Loki will never understand the instant effect that she had on him because he managed to hold he gaze for a few seconds, before he could feel the tears building up fast, his mouth going tense and curving against his will, and he cried, pulling his head away slightly. His mother simply put her hands on his shoulders instead and pulled him to her chest and then he just let go, sobbing into her chest, hands clinging onto her robes like it was the last thing he would ever feel.

With one hand, she stroked his hair, she didn't tell him to stop crying or calm down, sometimes people needed to just let everything out and he needed to do this. She wasn't sure there was anyone else he would be completely vulnerable and honest around. She was right. He would never trust anyone like he trusted her. She knew him in ways he didn't even know himself.

After a while, he tried to calm down, but just got worse again every time he thought about what a fuck up this had all been. Everything, from the moment that frost giant had grabbed his arm in Jotunheim, just after Thor's almost coronation, it had all just been one fuck up after another. He hadn't truly thought about any of it properly, he just failed one thing and moved onto the next. He had known it would most likely end with his death, either in combat or by execution. He was quite relieved when he had finally been sentenced to death. It was over, all of it, soon he would be dead, and he would never have to think again.

It seems, life had a different plan for Loki, though. A different plan in the shape of his, once brother, forcing a child within his unwilling body. Now there was no way they would let him die, at least not while the thing was in him. He could still possibly hope for after. Odin still seemed to want him dead, so he would probably just postpone the execution until after the birth.

Loki realised he had stopped crying at some point, he didn't really want to let go of his mother. She was safety, comfort, she was his mother. He did pull back though, slowly, wiping his eyes with his hands, not quite ready to look at Frigga again just yet. He wanted to get a little more composed first. Frigga, was having none of it. She handed him another small cup of water, which he accepted weakly. He felt so truly drained now, mentally, physically and emotionally. He needed to go, he just wanted to get some rest. He wasn't sure where he would go for now but he would find somewhere quiet and just sleep.

"Mudder...I...uh...thaan-nnk you, very much for your hep-helllp, it meannnsssommuch...but I mmmussst go nn-now...I just n-need to..." His feet hit the ground, but as soon as his weight was on them, his head went dizzy, sight going black, unsure of what was up and what was down. When his head finally cleared, he was on the floor, his mother holding his head up and stroking his face, saying things too him, Loki couldn't quite understand, his eyes felt heavy, head pounding, muscles like dead weights. She helped pull him up a little, so his back rested against the side of the table he had just been on. Leaving him sitting on the floor, she ordered a servant to fetch some simple, light food. She kneeled down next to him. He tried to talk but she hushed him this time.

"You are exhausted, starved and now pregnant, sit there, eat, you will feel better, then you can go back to Thor's rooms and rest. I highly doubt Thor will return there for a while." Loki didn't feel too happy about going to Thor's room but he sat still and said no more.

The servant returned with a basic broth and some bread. Frigga broke up the bread and put it into the broth to make it soggy. Disgusting but easier to eat, especially with Loki's mouth as it was. She prodded at the mixture then lifted a small spoonful towards Loki's mouth. He pulled his head back, lifting his hand to take the spoon and feed himself but she stared him down and damn she was as stubborn as he was. Rolling his eyes he nodded and she pushed the spoon up to his lips, allowing him to tilt his head forward and take it into his mouth. It was warm and Loki nearly moaned at how good it was to actually taste something after so long. He quickly swallowed it down, looking at his mother, waiting for the next spoonful.

Frigga made him wait between each mouthful of the broth. "You are starving, you will wolf it down much too fast and make yourself sick. You would be surprised how little you will want to eat, since your stomach will have shrunk considerably. You need to gradually start eating again." She also made him sip at his water sometimes before eating again. He was actually surprised to find he was full before the broth was finished, gently pushing her hand away, shaking his head.

He smiled in gratitude at her and moved, slowly this time, to get up. He was already feeling a little better. He has no idea how his body had managed to hold him up this time. He hugged his mother after she had handed the bowl to a servant.

"I know you may not be happy about how things are, but please, look after yourself, it's not just your life now, okay?" He sighed a little when she pulled back to look at his face but he nodded his agreement. He pulled away, telling her he would be fine getting back himself, he just wanted to sleep. Thanking her again, he left and head back to Thor's room, hoping to Valhalla that Thor was not there.


	4. Chapter 4

Thor watched as Frigga led Loki away.

He could still hear Frigga's voice. "He is indeed with child."

It had worked, after all that and it had actually worked. He didn't feel any sort of triumph though. The guards dispersed and Odin turned and walked into the throne room. He didn't want to but he knew he had to follow him.

"Father...wait!" He hurried in after his father. Odin neither responded to him, or slowed down. He moved up the steps to his throne before turning round to stare at Thor.

"I suppose, congratulations are in order..."

Thor stopped at the bottom of the steps.

"Father..."

"Tell me, do you feel clever, for having outsmarted the king, or was this Loki's idea, another trick of his, which you fell for?"

"You were going to execute him, what was I to do?"

"Not bed him like a common whore!"

Thor stopped himself from replying. Odin was right, though he didn't regret what he did, he just regretted how he did it. Loki had the right to a choice; he had the right to his own body.

Odin sighed and sat down.

"We can't fix it now; we can only do our best to work around it. Don't think for a moment that you have changed Loki's fate. He will still be executed once the child is born and its life is no longer in him."

Thor didn't even have words to speak. He wanted the world to swallow him up and keep him until this mess was over. A thought struck him.

"What of the child?"

"What of it?"

"Well, if you intend to kill its mother, you must have a plan." Though Thor had meant that coldly, he hadn't meant for it to sound quite so cold. Odin glared down at his son. Thor took a subtle step back.

"You speak to me like I am in the wrong here. I did not attempt to breed him like some farm animal, Thor. That was all down to you...Asgard's future king." Odin spat the last part out. Thor knew it would go this way. He wanted Loki dead, out of the way for good, how else could he possibly react? Odin sighed and sat down on the throne, head down for a minute before he spoke, not looking at Thor this time.

"I daren't even begin to dream of what your mother will think of all of this. She is a forgiving woman Thor, but this may have just overstepped the mark. You would do well to try and talk to her; though I believe today might not be a good idea."

There was silence for a few minutes. Thor could see Odin saying so many things through his eyes, so many different emotions crossed the old Kings face, and Thor didn't know what to say now. It seemed he didn't need to, since Odin wasn't quite done.

"What even made you think this was a good idea? I don't recall raising you to believe this was any form of acceptable, to anyone, regardless of their crimes. His execution, I'm sure, would be far more forgiving than what you have done to him." Thor actually felt himself getting a little mad again.

"You speak father, like someone who actually cares for Loki, when I think everyone knows by now, that is not true, you..."

"I MAY NO LONGER SEE LOKI AS A SON, I MAY REGRET A LOT OF THINGS THAT INVOLVE HIM AND I MAY HAVE SENTENCED HIM TO DIE BUT I WOULD NOT WISH THE FATE, YOU GAVE HIM, UPON MY WORST ENEMIES!" Odin eyes were ablaze with rage. He was leaning forward, hands gripping the arm of the throne and Gungir tightly. He was looking at Thor now, though Thor kind of wished he wasn't. Odin sat back again, sighing deeply, before he lifted his hand, making a dismissive gesture towards Thor.

"Away with you, I will speak of this with you, no longer, not now. Leave me. I need to see what I can salvage of this mess of which you have created, now go...OUT!"

Thor turned and stomped straight out of the throne room, heading straight for his rooms before deciding against it and going, instead to the palace grounds. Loki had always found comfort in the library or the palace grounds when he needed to think or clear his head. Thor had always preferred just walking around the gardens, listening to the goings on around him and breathing the fresh air.

He was furious. Furious with Loki for running and trying to be taken away, furious with him for letting go on the Bifrost, for lying to him about his father being dead, for trying to enslave earth, for trying to kill him...twice. He was furious at his father, for being so cold to the man who was once his son, for dismissing him like he would a slave, for refusing to see reason in anything. He was furious with himself, for how everything had turned out, for not seeing how it must have been for his brother growing up, feeling different, for not reasoning with him gently, showing him he was still loved, regardless of his true heritage, for acting upon his last idea, without first consulting Loki, drunk or not, it was inexcusable, for thinking any of this could have worked out in the first place, for being so foolish, for being such an idiotic oaf, for...being!

As his walk started to bring him back round towards the palace, he spotted his mother heading out towards the same spot Loki always liked to go to think. Thor decided he needed to speak with her to.

She spotted him as he approached but turned back and carried on looking at the view. Thor went and stood next to her.

"I'll have to bring him out here when he's feeling better, he always loved this view." She said, more out loud than particularly to Thor. He didn't say anything in reply.

"He wasn't a part of this plan was he?" Thor froze. He didn't even know to respond to that.

"No" he finally replied, looking down. She just nodded, still not looking at him.

"Mother..." He started. "I...I know you're mad..."

"I'm not mad" she said simply, now looking towards his direction, still not completely at him. "I'm surprised; I'm...a little disappointed. I understand what you were trying to do. I wanted to save him to. But this...this was not..." She stopped speaking, looking like she was struggling with the right words.

"I couldn't let him die mother. I thought I could convince father to reduce the sentence to imprisonment or something, I just needed time. It was the only way I could think of, that would give father no choice but to put a hold on the execution."

"It wasn't down to you to do anything, my son. As much as we love Loki, he did his crimes, he is being punished. I am glad you have managed to get a stay on his execution, though the circumstance is still not a happy one. It's been a rough couple of years for him, as I'm sure, you understand." Thor looked down. He understood what she meant. There was no way he could explain how he added to that though, not in true detail because in truth, his own fucked up mind simply got carried away and made him harm his once brother.

"Where is he?" Thor asked looking over to his mother. She still didn't look at him.

"He's in your rooms, resting. I would recommend that you leave him be for a while, he was very tired." Thor nodded and looked out at the view, the sun starting to get a little lower in the sky.

...

As soon as Loki had reached Thor's rooms he had crashed onto the bed, too tired to remove clothes or even climb under covers, he was out like a light in seconds.

The sun was setting when he woke up again. Sitting up, he looked around, Thor hadn't come back yet, leaving Loki feeling a little relieved, and he had no idea how he was going to face him. He wanted to hurt Thor, wanted to make him pay; make him beg Loki for forgiveness, for mercy. Then he got an idea.

When Thor returned, Loki was sitting in a chair, reading a book, seemingly rather interested with its contents. Thor hadn't expected Loki to actually have returned to his rooms, he thought he would sleep in the gardens before he would willingly return here, maybe mother had made him. Thor walked over to the table next to Loki's chair, picking up the jug of water, he pored himself a cup, drinking it quickly before poring another and drinking that while he watched Loki read. His mouth felt dry, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth.

"Loki..."

"I do not wish to discuss it Thor."

"Will you just..."

"No Thor...I will not just anything. I am tired, I have slept the majority of the day away, yet I still feel like I haven't slept in weeks, I am a mixture of hungry and sickened and my mouth still feels strange from being gagged all this time. Right now, I wish to distract myself with anything I can find, so please, for my sake...do not speak!" His pronunciation was pretty much back to normal now, his mouth still felt strange, his tongue aching a little but it was nothing he couldn't deal with by now. The indents on his face were still highly noticeable but there was nothing he could do about them. He returned his attention to his book as Thor started pacing round the room, as he did when he was distressed. Good, Loki thought.

Loki didn't look up from the book until he heard the rhythm of Thor's steps jolt. Looking up, he could see Thor staring at nothing, a confused frown on his face, blinking hard. Thor swayed on the spot for a moment, increasingly so before turning to Loki.

"I don't...don't feel so good..." Loki raised his is eyebrows at him, smirking slightly and saw as Thor's eyes became more confused. He started looking around a little frantically before his eyes settled on the jug of water next to Loki on the table. His face dropped.

"You...whahhddidyouu...dooo..." Thor collapsed to the floor before he could finish the question. Loki clapped the book shut, very composed, he stood up, now towering above his brother. He stepped towards him, making Thor scramble to get away, not getting very far as his muscles felt heavier by the second, his vision blurring. He was trying to speak but everything just mashed together and he passed out just as he saw Loki lean towards him, a huge grin on his face.

...

When Thor finally came to, his head still feeling heavy, he looked around a little bit confused until he remembered where he was. He rushed to sit up but his arms were chained to the bed. He panicked a little, struggling, trying to break the bindings but they shocked him slightly, and he realised they were magic.

Loki had returned to the seat he had been in when Thor had arrived back into his chambers, nose back in his book, like he hadn't noticed that Thor was awake, smiling to himself a little. He looked up, face feigning a slight surprise.

"Oh, good you're awake."

He smiled at Thor before shutting his book and getting up. Thor struggled in the chains again, feeling the slight shock pulsing through them, the more he struggled, the stronger they felt.

"You like them? It seems...my magic is back. I had really missed it, you know. I wasn't even sure if I could remember how to use it." He smirked slowly at Thor; he could see how his anger was rising.

"Loki…Stop this nonsense, _release me at once_!"

"Oh but I'm not quite finished yet..._brother_!" He walked around the bed watching Thor as he did. Thor looked down at himself. Loki had taken off any of the metal armour he had been wearing and all he wore now were his underclothes, a pair of fitted black under trousers and an undershirt to match, though this was lined with a little red.

Loki stopped at the end of the bed, in front of Thor.

"So...guess you're going to be a daddy hmm? Do you feel proud? Exited? A wonderful sense of achievement it must be. Want to know how I feel?"

"Loki…I…" He said no more because Loki had suddenly come up next to his and smacked him hard in the face.  
_  
__"I would tell you but I'm not even sure words could describe it anymore!"_ He stopped speaking, closed his eyes and breathed to calm down, amused nonchalance returning to his face. He gritted his teeth hard.

"But I suppose I should be...thankful, right? After all you did _save. My. Life_...who am I to not grovel at your feet when my _rape_ was only in my best interest."

Thor's face said everything. Loki could see that Thor knew he had done wrong, maybe he somewhat felt guilty about it...he would feel worse before this was over.

"What was I supposed to do, they were going to _kill you_, there was no other way."

"You didn't have to rape me Thor, would discussing things with me not have been a better idea, giving me a choice?"

"You wouldn't have gone through with it, don't even pretend you would have."

_"That didn't mean you could decide for me Thor, that was not your choice!"_

Loki was leaning towards him slightly; his eyes piercing the older gods, making Thor feel uncomfortable.

"You know I...uh...I do recall you mentioning one little thing while you were fucking me up the arse, I don't know if you do...what was it now? Something like, _'has no one ever touched you like this before?'_ Was that it?"

Thor just looked at him, not quite sure where he was going with this. Loki just smiled wider at him, looking a little more delirious as he did.

"You see, you never actually waited for my answer, not that I could with the gag around my mouth...oh wait...can you still see the pressure marks from where that indented?" He leaned close to Thor now and Thor could see them, surely not as deep as before but nowhere near to fading.

"I'm not sure they will ever fade you know, like my skin is used to not being in those little indents now, strange since everything else has healed...physically...anyway...where was I? Ah yes, your question. I think you said 'blushing like a shy virgin, I don't need you to speak to know'...something to that effect. Well..._brother_...there's a reason why one would be as you say _'blushing like a virgin'_ when another person is fucking them...can you guess what it is? Or have you already figured that one out?"

Thor looked at him, eyes wide in realisation of what he had meant, he had thought that the chances of Loki having been taken from behind before were pretty high, since this was Loki, Loki who was interested in both sexes, Loki who _was_ both sexes for fucks sake, surely he had experimented at least once in his thousand years of life. Loki was still smiling at him.

"I can see you trying to figure it out, of course, why wouldn't I have found myself a nice well dressed gent and...played around a little right? Well, no, actually I was keeping that for someone I could trust, just never met anyone for that to happen...too late now I suppose."

"Loki..."

"Ahhh...I almost forgot, silly me, yes, more memories, I know how thinking hurts your head. _But,_ Do you recall this morning, when you were pulling out the uncharacteristically large plugs? Yes, I'm sure you do. Well, I don't suppose you remember the blood from the first one do you?"

Thor's eyes went wider still..._oh no._

"I mean, I wouldn't expect you to, I'm sure it's normal to bleed sometimes after rough sex, though you pair that with 'blushing like a virgin' and it all starts to look a little peculiar, am I right?"

"No...Loki..."

"Yes Thor...I think you got it, is it such a strange thing, for people my age to have not had sex! _Is it really so rare?_" Actually, yes it was, but Loki wasn't going to dwell on that for now. It had been his choice. His celibacy, not for anyone else.

"Actually Thor, think back more, as you were taking my clothes off, when you first looked upon my…duel sex…was there any virgin blushing then? Do you remember..._brother of mine?"_

Thor stared at his brother in confusion, shaking his head, fumbling for words...surely he couldn't be saying...

_"YES, THOR, WELL DONE, YOU'VE GOT IT!"_ Loki clapped his hands together slowly. "Not only was I still a virgin, no one had so much as touched me where you did..._brother._ Only mother, and probably Odin but I don't like to think about that, had ever seen me truly..._naked."_

Thor was even more confused, none of this made sense.

"That can't be...how did people know you were duel sexed, I doubt mother or father spread them rumours"

"It's not that difficult to spread rumours, Thor, I say one thing in passing, next thing you know, it's spreading like a disease. Although the rumours did somewhat earn me a bit of a reputation, which is putting it lightly but I couldn't have everyone knowing about your frigid little brother now could I? I would much rather be known as a whore, but I guess; now I don't have to pretend. Hmmm, yes, maybe I should be thanking you after all."

"Loki...brother..."

Loki was in his face before he could even blink, holding his dagger against his throat. His eyes looked wild, some of his hair falling forwards. He screamed in his face.

_"NO THOR, YOU DONT GET TO CALL ME THAT! NOT ANYMORE, DO YOU HEAR ME?"_ Loki's voice was breaking, not used to yelling, tears flooding his eyes and spilling down his cheeks. Dammit Loki, that was the third time today, get a hold of it! He pulled back, wiping his eyes and brushing his hands over his hair to pull it back into place, forcing his face to show no emotion.

"Loki...Loki please, this isn't going to solve anything. I know what I did but I was desperate, I was drunk...I'm sorry! I wish I could go back and do it differently and believe me I would but I would still have done something, I can't have you die Loki, not yet, it's not right." Loki had turned away, struggling to keep his composure.

"...Loki...Loki...look at me, please."

Loki turned back round, head down and he began undoing the buttons to his shirt. Thor tried to make eye contact with him.

"Loki, I meant what I said, I'm am sorry but I can't change it, I just wanted to save my brother and I know you would have done the same for me before and I would have known that you were only trying to...Loki...what are you doing?"

Loki had pulled off his shirt, still not looking at Thor; he started to undo his trousers.

"Would you Thor, truly, would you have been able to endure what you did to me?" And Thor suddenly realised where this was heading.

"Loki...hold on...Loki..."

Loki stepped out of his trousers, now completely naked. Turning round he walked to the table, looking down at something Thor couldn't see.

"I don't suppose it matters anyway, rape isn't about consent now is it?"

"No...Loki, please...listen to me..."

Loki picked up the items on the table, turning round he came to stand at the end of the bed again. Little bowl of oil in one hand and...No. Thor's eyes widened more, breathing stopped. Loki smiled.

"Oh good, so you do remember this. Honestly, never rely on a servant to dispose of such things; always do that part by yourself." He laughed. Thor panicked. Loki held up one of the rather large plugs that Thor had used on him.

"Oh come now brother, this will be easy, there's only one of these for you, since there's only one place to stick it, you should feel relieved I even brought oil."

Thor struggled against the restraints. Loki spread some oil onto the plug with his hand before turning back to Thor.

"Loki please...this will not solve anything...no, Loki...stop this at once!"

Loki climbed onto the bed, smiling at Thor, plug in one hand, his dagger in the other. He straddled the older gods' thighs, slipping the blade of the dagger under Thor's shirt, making him still instantly. He quickly pulled his arm up, cutting and tearing the shirt the right through the middle. Thor winced and flinched.

"Loki...no...Please...don't do this, stop...don't..."

"I would think you are feeling pretty sorry now." Loki's smile was disturbing, Thor felt sick. The younger god used the dagger to undo the clasps of Thor's trousers, letting out small, pleased breaths as he did. Thor didn't dare move while he did this, but continued trying to plead with his brother, to reason with him. Loki put the dagger and plug down so he could pull at Thor's trousers, pulling off his underwear with them, his brother struggling again.

Loki climbed back on top of him and Thor bucked, trying to throw him off, Loki just grabbed his dagger again and put it to his throat.

"I would advise you to keep still, it's in your own best interests."

"Loki, what will this solve? It won't change what happened...LOKI..!"

Loki had stopped listening. Loki was spreading his brothers' legs apart. Loki was smiling so wide, he could split his face.

"Don't worry Thor, even you get some preparation, it's only fair since you _allowed me such a kindness."_

That was true but Loki's preparation hadn't come in the shape of a rather large dildo. The object of which, Loki was picking up ready to press into his brother.

"Now now brother, struggling will only make things more difficult for you, I would know." He pressed the dagger back to Thor's neck, making him stop instantly, breathing roughly. This was it; he should have known Loki would want his revenge, that's how Loki worked. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the plug come into contact with the skin by his hole; it didn't push in yet though. Loki was going to drag this out.

"Open your eyes you dim witted oaf."

Thor didn't want to but he knew Loki would want to see him as he got his revenge. Slowly he opened his eyes, instantly frowning in utter confusion as a rather serious looking Loki was standing beside the bed, looking down at his face...fully clothed, while the Loki who had been about to rape him was still sitting on top of him, still holding that crazy smile, plug still pressed against Thor's hole, dagger still against his throat.

"Wha..?" Thor was painfully confused, he couldn't breathe. The Loki standing next to him smirked, then the naked Loki on top of him disappeared, along with the plug and dagger. Thor looked down, he realised he was also fully clothed and his arms weren't bound to the bed. He pulled his arms to himself, staring at Loki questioningly, still feeling a little shaken.

"I'm many things Thor...but I am not a rapist." Loki looked at Thor blankly for a moment then turned to leave. Thor was in too much shock to follow him.


	5. Chapter 5

Authors Note: No Beta. Hopefully none of this is too appalling to read. I have proof read everything and spell checked it in word but, please let me know about any mistakes you find. I write my stories on the IPad, then transfer them to the computer for spell check and the IPad does an auto correct, which is usually very useful but can sometimes change me to words I hadn't intended. If at any point you see the name 'Louis' crop up, that was just my IPad changing 'Loki's' because for some reason it doesn't like that word.

***Oh yes, before I forget. I try to keep the terminology as neutral as I can. I am from England and I know we can say some strange things so, for those of you who are not from England. If I use a slang term that you don't understand, or if there would be a better word to use for it, please let me know, that would be so great. I get pretty anxious about this when uploading...so yess...on you go...enjoy! :D

…

"You made your point."

Thor found Loki in the library a couple of weeks later, a half eaten bowl of broth next to where he sat. Loki had avoided every single attempt at contact Thor had made, he refused to talk to him, and he barely looked at him. He seemed to live in the library at this point. Thor could see a pile of cushions and blankets on the floor where Loki had made a little sleeping area for himself. He knew that Frigga visited here often and that, the only time Odin had been to see him was to let him know that the execution was being postponed, the new date of which was causing a lot of grief, but he refused to say more. Loki had told Odin that he had nothing more to say to him, unless the king was coming here to personally drag him down to his execution, he should leave now.

"I'm glad something can be pushed into that thick head of yours."

"Loki..."

"No, Thor. I thought I had made this clear with you." Loki slammed the book shut and stood up. "I don't want to talk about it, not with you, certainly not now, not ever. You raped me. You stole...no, you ripped away my virginity and have left me impregnated with a child who will only ever serve as a reminder for me of what you did. I could never love such a child, but I get no choice. This hateful thing must develop inside me, it will grow and feed off my own life, it will rip its way out of me and all I will ever see when I look at it is your face as you did what you did to me. I will never forgive you Thor. I wanted a choice; I wanted to be able to say no. I WANTED TO DIE, I still want to die!"

Thor could only look at Loki as he spoke. Loki looked so desperate; he didn't know what to do. Loki's eyes had developed this insane gleam which Thor was starting to see quite a lot recently.

"Actually, you know what? I will forgive you...yes, that is what you want, right? Fine. You will be forgiven; you did what you thought you had to right? You will be forgiven, I hate you now, but you will be forgiven. So, please, please please please PLEASE, if you want my forgiveness...just leave me alone, don't talk to me, don't acknowledge me if you see me, we are not brothers, we are not friends, we are less than acquaintances. We live in the palace. I will still be executed once this thing is out of me and you will never have to deal with me again, we will get what we want. As for it..." He nodded his head down in the direction of his stomach. "If you want it, you can have it, I don't care, once it is out of me, I refuse to lay eyes upon it again, I want to be dragged, still out of breath, shaking, bloodied and ripped open from the birth, dragged out into the execution hall and ended. This is what I want; this is what it would take, for me to forgive you. Make sure that this happens, and I swear, you will have your forgiveness."

Thor had completely frozen, such venomous words, not the ones aimed at him but at the unborn child. That was an innocent life, regardless of how it got here, to know it would be hated even before it arrived, was horrible. He thought Loki, being who he was, could never do that to a child but it seems Thor was wrong. He didn't know Loki at all.

"Fine, if that's what you want, I will see to it. I will do all of those things...if."

"If...what?"

"If you swear to look after yourself, look after your body, look after your baby, until the time that it arrives, you will do everything necessary to keep it healthy, mentally and physically. This child is not to blame and does not deserve to be mistreated because of this...understand?"

"Fine...stick to your deal, I'll stick to mine. But, and I am serious Thor. If you go back on that once the thing is born, I will personally find it, and I will kill it. Don't doubt me for a second."

Thor's blood ran cold. What choice did he have.

"Fine."

"Good."

...

Thor didn't see Loki over the next couple of weeks; he could only assume Loki was behaving himself, living in the library, refusing to see anyone except Frigga. That was, until the day that Odin summoned them to the throne room to finally reveal Loki's new sentence. Loki was relieved they had finally decided, he was about a month into the pregnancy, the sooner he knew the sooner he could begin the countdown to his end.

In the throne room, Odin sat upon his throne, Frigga standing a few steps down on the left side, Thor of the right, the warriors three and Sif were also there. Loki hadn't seen any of them since he ran into Sif that day, though that wasn't surprising since they had never particularly liked him anyway. He had no idea what they thought of this though, or if they had said anything about it to Thor. They were here, technically, they didn't have to be so maybe they were still on Thor's side, at least enough to stand by him, or maybe they agreed with what Thor did, but probably not since, Loki assumed, they would all probably much rather he be dead than this. The rest of the room contained a few people of the court, as witnesses. Loki walked in and stood at the bottom of the steps in front of Odin, hearing some tutting and muttering at his refusal to bow. Loki just smirked. He thought that he had dealt pretty well with the first month of his pregnancy; he was putting on a little weight, since he was actually eating again. It took him a while but he tried to finish meals as best as he could, his mother would go on about eating for two and being careful, blah blah blah, if he didn't, though, he never really felt hungry, he never really felt anything.

Odin finally stood up to address everyone. He looked tired, Loki thought, he looked like someone who was done with running Asgard. Someone who wanted to step down and let their son take his place, which he couldn't do while all this was happening. Should just execute him, he thought, would be so much easier.

"We all know why we are here today." Odin began. "Loki's execution was meant to have taken place next week but, in light of recent events, circumstances have changed and this can no longer be the case."

Loki huffed to himself a little; the old King couldn't even say it out loud. Besides, if Loki had it his way, this simply would be the case, why drag out the inevitable? Why bring an unwanted child into the world?

"So, it took some time for courts to agree upon this. Of course he could not be executed while the child was still in him; therefore, the execution will happen after the birth."

Loki frowned slightly, surely such a decision was obvious, and why would it have bothered the courts?

"That being said, there was much disagreement as to how long after the child is born; we should wait before the execution. Ideally a lot voted for, within two weeks of the birth."

Two weeks?! Loki thought, what is the point, really, so he would give birth, rot sorely in a cell for two weeks then die anyway. They really hadn't thought this through at all.

"The rest of the court did not see at as fair that a child, still innocent regardless of circumstance, should be taken from its mother so soon, seeing as care such as breast feeding is something only Loki himself will be able to provide."

Breast feeding? They want him to birth this creature and now they want it to continue to suck the life from him even afterwards? Loki looked down, laughing to himself, of course they did.

"Then there was the matter of the child's general upbringing. The majority of the courts felt that a child should not be taken away from its mother if at all possible. They felt that Loki should be allowed to raise it, under the guidance of the palace, of Frigga, and of Thor."

Wait...no...What was he saying? Keep him alive to raise the child, had he lost his mind? Loki grabbed a quick glance at Thor and his mother, Frigga looking uncomfortable; she knows Loki wouldn't be happy about this. Thor looked about as confused as he. Loki straightened himself up. Come on Loki, hold it together, you are better than this. He could feel how his eyes were wide, mouth a little slack, everyone could see he had not expected this.

"Therefore...after finally coming to an agreement, it is the decision upon the court and, inevitably, of myself, that Loki will be allowed to live until the child is six, from there, his new execution date will be given. And finally, the matter of where Loki will live, since he is still a criminal and still waiting for execution, he cannot be kept in the dungeons because of his pregnancy and that is hardly any place where a child should be raised, he will live in the palace, he will be moved into Thor's chambers, and he will be supervised by someone at all times, until such time. There will be no negotiations on this subject, this has been dragged out long enough." He slammed Gungir onto the ground, the signal of a finalised decision made within a trial. People already started to mutter and shift about as they got up to leave. Odin hadn't even looked at him, he didn't even speak directly to him, not that Loki cared about that.

Frigga walked down the steps to Loki as soon as Odin had taken his leave, wrapping her arms around him tightly. Loki made no move to hug her back; he couldn't make his body cooperate just yet. Thor looked like he was stuck between storming off and trashing a few things first.

"Oh Loki, it's okay my son." A concerned Frigga looked up at him. "It will be okay." She just kept repeating this to him, like it would make a difference. Loki couldn't breathe, never mind speak.

He gently pushed her away, turned and left the hall, ignoring his mothers' calls. He didn't stop until he had gotten to the farthest part of the gardens, completely aware of the guard who had stealthily tried to follow him unnoticed. He stopped and sat down on the grass, still not quite sure how to react. Six years...six years! What difference would it make; he didn't want the monster that grew inside him. Did Odin really think him and Thor were going to play happy little families? Loki would laugh if it wasn't about him. He knew they all thought it wasn't about him at all, not him, but the welfare of the child. Bullshit. It was as much about him as it was about the child and Loki felt like Odin might have done this to punish Thor to.

He pressed his hand onto his stomach. Could he raise this...thing, for six years? Absolutely not but he didn't have much choice it seemed, so could he just grit his teeth and do it? There wasn't many times in his life where he had been unsure of himself, but this was definitely one of them. He looked down, feeling nothing but hatred for the creature that lay within him. Six years was nothing, but it could sure be a pretty slow nothing in the right situation.

He lay back on the grass. He just wanted it to be over, was it so bad? He had already thought about ending things himself, but there was no greater shame at such a cowardly escape. He didn't want his mother to remember him for that. And making him live with Thor, which was just adding salt to the wound, there was no reason for that, which is what lead him to believe that Odin was also punishing Thor. He must be, but then again, would he punish Thor? Was Odin even bothered by what his son had done?

When Loki had been on Midgard, he had learned a lot about their laws and differences. On there, rape was a hugely outrageous thing; it was not tolerated in any way. In some way, Loki wished it was the same here, but here, it was frowned upon, not a nice thing to do by any means, unless it was to a slave, they had no rights to their body so no one cared about what the owner did to their property. Is that how Thor saw him? His property that was being taken from him and he did what he had to, not to lose it. Was Loki just his trophy after the older god had defeated him on Midgard?

Thor hadn't done this in Loki's best interest, which he knew for sure, what could he have possibly gained from any of this? Loki just couldn't figure out why. What did Thor want from him that would make him do something so drastic to keep him alive? He had often heard rumours about Thor being rough in bed. He remembers accidentally walking in on him once and the woman he was bedding at the time was crying. Loki hadn't quite understood at the time but now he did. He doesn't think Thor had raped that woman, he didn't even have Thor down as a rapist but there is a difference between rough and rape, which was clear. But Thor had taken so much pleasure in what he did to Loki, this couldn't have just been an act of desperate duty, there had to be something more. Something deep inside Thor that even Loki had never known about. It made sense. Maybe rape play? He heard some people were into strange things when it came to sex, maybe it was like a fantasy or something, a fetish. But what he had done to Loki was not play, which was not making believe, that was real. So was play not enough to him? He said he would have gone about it differently if he could go back. So did he get carried away, or realise himself what it was he actually wanted while he was doing it. It could all have been about power.

Damn, Loki hadn't actually thought about this since it happened, he had pushed all of it away, refusing to try and justify it or even attempt to clear it up in his own mind, the only way he would know would be to ask Thor, talk to Thor...that wasn't going to happen. He's not sure if he even cares any more, it wouldn't change anything. He will live in Thor's room, but he will not live with him, their relationship as brothers was over, it took a long time for Thor to grasp this, Loki figured it out when he let go at the Bifrost. It seems Thor had finally got what that actually meant now. He also knew that Thor was not just going to take this, he would try and build some kind of relationship with him again but it wouldn't happen. Loki hated him too much for that now. He still had to find a way to cope with Thor for the time he was going to be stuck with him.

...

Walking into Thor's room, Loki found that some of the stuff he had gathered up in the library had been brought here, probably his mothers doing. She had also folded up all the blankets he had been sleeping on, setting them up on one side of Thor's bed...no way in Hel!

Walking over to the bed he dragged the blankets onto the floor and set up another little nest like bed space for himself, stealing some of Thor's pillows. Thor walked out of the washroom a few minutes later, hair wet. He stopped when he saw Loki; he must not have heard him walk in. Loki just looked at him before carrying on with making his bed.

"You don't need to do that."

"Yes. I do."

"You take the bed; I'll sleep on the floor."

"I will be fine right here."

"You shouldn't be sleeping on the floor, not when you're..."

"I'm not a woman, Thor. Don't treat me like one."

"Woman or not, you're still carrying a child."

"The child doesn't mind the floor." Loki still hadn't looked at Thor; he knew Thor was staring at him. He felt a little trapped, even if he wasn't, even though, overall, he really was. He knew this was how it was going to be from now on. He wanted to take control of the situation; he needed to be in control of something, even something as small as where he slept. As calmly as he could, he turned to face Thor.

"I am fine, you don't need to treat me different, you don't need to sacrifice anything, you don't need to do...anything. Just leave me alone."

"We can't just ignore each other for the next almost seven years Loki; we are going to have to work something out."

"Yes...well...not now. Not everything needs to happen right now."

Thor put his hands up, backing off a little. "Okay." He said

Loki sighed, maybe six years was going to feel longer after all.

Authors Note: Thank you for reading. I know everyone says it but if you could let me know what you thought, even just a couple of words can be great. We thrive off readers comments, good or bad so yes! Hope you are still enjoying my story and apologies for the delayed update. I will probably post next chapter tomorrow to make up for it :D


	6. Chapter 6

The next couple of months went by pretty much the same. Loki and Thor spoke when it was necessary but otherwise they just went on with their own business. Frigga visited Loki often, asking him how he felt, sometimes not even mentioning his pregnancy. It made him feel like there was at least someone who still saw him as a person and not just a vessel for this thing. He tried to appear a little better around her, make her think he was coping well, even if he wasn't. It kept her a little more cheerful and he liked having a positive person to chat to and listen to, since he wasn't feeling overly optimistic right now. He didn't lie to her though; he never would, not to his mother, so he would sometimes tell her his true feelings, his fears, worries, how angry he was. This was also something his mother scolded him about often. He needed to think more positive for the sake of the baby, they pick up on negativity and all that shit. Loki couldn't bring himself to tell her he simply didn't care. He certainly didn't tell her that he had taken to referring to the child as a parasite.

He had generally managed pretty well with everything until about two months in. That was when the sickness had started, every singly morning at the crack of dawn he would wake up so suddenly, snapping his eyes open. He would be in the washroom throwing his guts up before he was even awake enough to realise he had moved. It was the most awful feeling, being sick. He couldn't breathe, he could only choke and wait for his body to stop convulsing and gasp as best he could in between.

Even with all the throwing up, he had put his weight back on now, and a little extra. His mother kept saying something about glowing but that meant nothing to Loki; he just wanted to be able to eat a decent meal without having to throw it up afterwards. He was already slightly rounded, even though he had only just reached the second trimester, a little over three months in. Normally it was too early to show anything properly, it concerned him a little, what if there was more than one of them? There was no way he could deal with that, he refused, and he didn't even want to deal with the one he already knew about. He would rather stab himself in the stomach than birth these things. The only reason he hadn't right now is because he knew his mother could never forgive him for destroying an 'innocent life.'

"You will start to crave something soon. It might be a strange thing to want to eat but you will eat it and it will just hit the spot so perfectly, you will never want to eat anything else." Frigga had told him, smiling at him gently. He supposed, since she had been through this, she would know, which is why he listened to her.

"Listen to your body" she said. "It will let you know what it needs."

And it did just that, well at least he thinks it did, if the sudden need for boiled eggs and cream were anything to go by. He happily ate bowls of the stuff, enjoying the way Thor's nose wrinkled at the sight; he made the decision to eat it around him as often as he could.

Thor had found out about his morning sickness though, he had been hoping to hide it until it was over, only his mother knew about it, she gave him some herbal teas that helped calm his stomach but some mornings it was just too strong and he would have to run straight to the washroom. One of the mornings that this had happened, he had rushed to get up, his head immediately going completely dizzy and he tripped over his own feet at the end of Thor's bed, waking him up, while he scrambled to get his bearings enough to get up. He didn't manage to get to his knees before his stomach lurched hard and he emptied the entire contents of his stomach onto the floor, not pausing long enough to let him breathe, so he could only choke as his stomach heaved again and again.

Thor had jumped out of the bed and kneeled down next to Loki, pulling his hair back. Loki had tried to push him off but ended up just gripping onto his arms while his stomach lurched again, abdomen muscles aching now. Thor rubbed his back until he stopped heaving, Loki would never let him know it, but it had felt better with that. So now, if Thor ever woke up while Loki was throwing up, he would come and rub his back for him, and Loki just couldn't bring himself to stop him, because it helped.

His mother had also told him that his libido would probably disappear completely, which was a little awkward to discuss, and that he should not worry because that was normal. He wasn't worried anyway since he had never really had much of a libido anyway, he had felt mildly horny before, but wasn't really a fan of masturbation and it had never bothered him. What she hadn't warned him about though, was that when it did come back around about his fourth/fifth month in, it would come back with a vengeance!

So now he's lying on his make shift floor-bed, one hand resting on his slightly swelling belly. He had no idea how big he was going to get, not that he cared the much anyway, and he would heal. Loki keeps shifting about, he knows why, but he refuses to acknowledge it for now. He's not used to this, strange itch of arousal in his lower stomach and he is stuck between desperately wanting it to just go away, or just doing something about it. He's not sure that's a good idea either, so he just lays there, hand tapping on his stomach, the other one by his side, pulling at bits of thread on his clothing.

Thor walks in from fighting outside, covered in sweat and dirt. It, at least, distracts Loki for a moment, so he can sit up and forget about the tingling in his stomach for now. Thor picks up a jug of water, not bothering with a glass and starts gulping straight from it. Then he heads straight for the washroom. Loki decides that lying on the floor isn't going to help him and a walk round the gardens would do him some good, fresh air and all that. He lets Thor know where he's going first, since that was part of Odin's sentence, annoyingly enough and he heads out.

Loki feels a little better once he gets outside, it's a bright day and the light breeze is nice, soothing his, rather irritated skin. He walks around for a bit before heading to the shaded part of the gardens, all kinds of shrubbery surrounds it and it's a very beautiful place to sit, very private to. He doesn't bother pretending he hasn't seen the guard that followed him or the people looking at him. Some curiously, some disgusted, some scared, he really doesn't care for them but the staring is quite irritating.

He relaxes on the grass, leaning up against one of the tree stumps. Leaning his head back, he closes his eyes and sighs out loud, bringing a hand to rest on top of his stomach. He feels a strange fluttering inside him which has been happening more and more recently. He's not sure what it is but he thinks it's something to do with the arousal which has been eating at him for a couple of days. It's not like he's ever alone long enough to even do anything about it, especially living in Thor's rooms. It's slowly driving him mad.

He lifts his head and looks around a little. The guard has turned away, distracted by talking to another guard, which they're not supposed to do but Loki's not going to call him out on it. Plus he's pretty shaded from view here, maybe he could just...

He lets the hand on his stomach slide lower, halting at the waistline of his trousers, sliding his fingers along the skin there. Slipping his hand, slowly, into his pants, he gently takes his half interested cock into his hand, squeezing lightly to make himself harder. He takes a deep breath and strokes himself a little, adding slightly more pressure at the tip. He breaths out a quiet moan and picks up the pace a bit, his stomach muscles flexing, thighs drawing up slightly and his head going back, exposing his pale neck.

He had never been much into pleasuring himself, not that he had a problem with it, he was just never particularly interested, and he had other things to be doing than that. But right now, he couldn't understand why had ever thought this. This felt great and maybe the pregnancy was making him hornier and more sensitive but he didn't care, he just focused on his hand, stroking himself, changing speed, changing pressure. Sometimes he let his hand venture lower to torment the slit below, but never plunging inside. That was a part of himself he had never really been able to accept. People had treated him differently after finding out about his dual sex, even though he had spread the rumours himself and had been able to prepare for it, it still came as a bit of a surprise. Men would whistle at him in the hallways, come up behind him and whisper vulgar things into his ear, things that always involved the feminine part of his genitalia. Needles to say it had been off putting. Some of them went as far as to try and grope at him. He generally managed to fight them off before they could do more but one, rather muscular guy had managed to get his hand into Loki's clothes and grab at his quim. That time, it had actually been Thor who had stepped in, pulling the guy off Loki and taking Loki to his room to look after him. The irony of it now.

Loki realised he had stopped his movements. He changed his thoughts back to himself and enjoyed the sensations his hand was giving him. He could feel himself slowly building towards a release, so he picked up the pace again, head pushing back further, body tensing more harshly, struggling to hold back his pants and soft moans now...

"Loki..?"

His eyes snapped open, hand stopping instantly and he quickly pulled it from under his clothes. He looked towards the entrance to the shaded area that he was currently pleasuring himself in, to see his mother come walking round into view a few moments later.

"There you are, dear, I have been looking for you for a while now, is everything alright? Thor said you seemed a little distant."

Loki quickly straightened himself up against the tree. He loved his mother dearly, but her timing wasn't always good.

"I'm fine, just felt like some quiet is all."

Frigga came and sat next to him, smiling at him brightly.

"Oh I can imagine. I remember how muddled my head could get when I was pregnant with Thor. Felt like everything was happening at once and I just needed everything to stop." She chuckled at the memory before her eyes brightened up and she put her hands on his arm.

"How is your stomach feeling? Are the herbal teas helping?" She always tried to sound cheery; like she hoped it would rub off on him and make him feel better. It kind of did.

He nodded. "A little, though my stomach generally feels unsettled a lot more recently."

"What do you mean?" Her eyes met his, concern showing in her face.

"It's not unbearable or anything, it's a bit like there's butterfly's flapping around in my stomach."

Frigga's face lit up a bit. "Oh, that sounds like the baby's kicking. Yes, since it wouldn't be formed yet, it moves around and you can feel a strange sensation, kind of like nerves, is that what you can feel?" It was the child moving? That's what that weird fluttering was? Loki felt a little strange about it now.

"Oh...yeah, I think...I think I felt that."

Frigga's smile widened a little bit more. He could see she was holding back a little, secretly slightly excited about the child. She had always been excited about the possibility of having grandchildren one day, though this probably wasn't quite what she had in mind. He felt the fluttering again, now it just unnerved him.

"It's not a prominent thing, it's just sort of there, sometimes." He blushed slightly; he had no idea how to handle this stuff. He had never planned on dealing with this kind of thing. Frigga looked happy enough though, she beamed at him, taking his head in her hands and kissing his forehead.

"And how are you doing, with the pregnancy, with everything? It's not the easiest of things to deal with, especially with everything else you have been through, but you might start to feel more calm about it, more relaxed about the idea of what you will have to do, anything you were feeling anxious about, it is because your body, when pregnant, will help to mentally prepare you for such things. Otherwise, I don't think there would be many people who would be fit to have children, if the nerves and fears could get in the way."

Loki though for a minute, was he okay? He hadn't really thought about it since he couldn't change it, he had sort if resigned himself to what was to come but that didn't mean he had to be okay with it. He did sometimes find himself speaking to the child inside him, though it was mostly just abuse about how it was created as a means of distraction, to keeps its mother from dying. Created through rape, existing through force, it will be raised in hatred. Not that Loki would ever tell his mother the things he said, the things he really felt.

"I'm feeling pretty good, for now, given my situation. I am generally at peace with where this is going. Stressing will get me nowhere, so I simply allow time to go by as it will. Once the child is born, I will raise it until my death and then it is up to you, for I would trust no other with such a task, when I am dead." He saw how she flinched at the word but she would need to come to terms with the fact that he was going to be executed and the time was going to feel very fast for her, because she was dreading it so much.

"Now, if you don't mind mother, I'm going to head back inside, I feel a little tired." And horny as fuck! Sadly, the conversation hadn't killed his arousal. He wasn't mentally turned on, like; he didn't even have any desire for sex. Physically his body just would not leave him alone.

She instantly helped him up, not that it was necessary since he wasn't exactly big, yet, but he accepted her hand anyway, giving her another hug before linking arms and they walked back to the palace together.

...

Later that evening Loki was sitting on Thor's bed, having just finished a bowl of eggs and cream, it was the only thing he could hold down and Thor hated him eating it on his bed, but he dealt with it, cause he didn't really have a choice. The older god had left for dinner, a while ago but Loki preferred to eat alone now, partly for the strange choice of food and he hated the stares he got. Everyone was so interested in his stomach it was like they had forgotten that his eyes were up on his head.

He had appreciated his mother coming to chat with him earlier; she was the only person who could cheer him up. He would have preferred that she turned up at a different time, but at least she didn't see what he was doing moments before. When he had come back to Thor's room, the older god was there, meaning he couldn't do anything about his arousal then either, he had gone into the washroom and tried again but Thor had interrupted him again, telling him that he wanted to wash up for dinner and that his strange food had arrived.

Thor wasn't in here now though, Loki thought. He lay back, and then changed his mind. Thor might be able to put up with his eating habits on his bed but this was something else entirely. He slid off the side of the bed, into the half arranged pile of blankets and cushions that were his bed, pulled off his shirt and made himself comfortable, oh his back, which was still comfortable enough for him for now. His mother had said something about only being able to sleep on her side further down the line of her pregnancy.

He opened his trousers, pulling them down his hips slightly and slid his hands underneath the fabric, his cock already pretty much fully hard since he had only been able to torment himself further throughout the day. He quickly set a rhythm and got straight to it, no messing. He let his mind explore the feelings he was giving himself, pulling his head back and breathing harder, sighing every time he caught a particularly sensitive spot. It wasn't long before he was moaning quietly to himself, bucking and writhing into his own hand.

He pushed his other hand into his trousers, pushing them down more, to give him room. The hand came down to his entrance, feeling it, already wet, pushing his fingers along it but not pushing them in. He could feel himself getting closer, his breathing growing desperate, his body tensing, head thrown back, breathing through his open mouth, his eyes closed, concentrating.

He started fisting his cock with some real effort, breathing turning ragged again, small moans sometimes escaping past his lips. He was so close, he could feel it...right there, just a little more, he pushed his hips up frantically now, breathing desperately. Come on...just a bit...more...

He couldn't get himself over the edge; he didn't know why, he was right there, right on the very edge, it just wouldn't spill. He stopped and breathed harshly for a bit. He couldn't leave himself like this, he would go insane. He returned to stroking his cock, which was leaking, as was his opening. He pressed two of his fingers inside himself a little, ignoring the slight discomfort it gave him to do it, and he would need to get over his problems with it eventually. Moving his fingers around a bit, slicking them up with his own fluids, pressing around his inner walls, feeling little jolts of pleasure starting to form.

He moved his hand faster, thrusting in and out with his fingers roughly. He stopped thinking about what he was doing, his mind focussing more on his cock anyway, his other hand just adding to the pleasure there. He couldn't stop himself from moaning a little louder now, his whole body struggling to drag him over the edge, he needed to come, he had to, and he couldn't not come after all this. He could hear the noises he was making, helpless to stop them, his concentration was on one thing...come!

Making one last effort, he bit down hard on his bottom lip, crying out in pure relief when he finally fell over the edge, clamping down on his fingers, cock pulsing hard; he just stilled and let it happen. His body went limp and he just lay there for a few minutes, waiting for his breathing to return to normal.

His legs were a little wobbly when he finally stood up. He turned when he had regained his balance, about to head for the washroom but instead, he froze when he saw Thor sitting on his bed. When the Hel had he come in? And since when was he that stealthily quiet? Thor looked like he had tried to look busy by reading a book, as if Thor had ever read books, but he was now looking at Loki, eyes wide, mouth gaping slightly. They looked at each other for a moment, Loki doing everything in his power to keep his face blank. Thor's eyes trailed down to the cum running down Loki's abdomen, also noticing the little protruding belly that had started to form. He didn't dare say anything though, neither did Loki, he just turned and walked to the washroom, trying to look as unbothered by this as he physically could, running himself a bath and sitting back in the warm water.

Shit, he thought.


	7. Chapter 7

Over the next few weeks, Loki ate more and more, his stomach became more obvious and the fluttering definitely became kicking. He found that it seemed to respond to his moods. So if he was in a really bad mood, the parasite would squirm and kick around a lot, even if it was still very small and barely developed, it was pretty uncomfortable for Loki. His mother continued to visit him regularly, generally cheerful, though there was one time she came that Loki could tell that something was up.

She had come to visit him, as she usually did but there was a hesitance in her words, like she was waiting for the opportunity to say something. Loki eventually called her out on it.

"Mother please, you have something to say, just say it. I am fine." She looked at him a little sheepishly before sighing and waving her hand, conjuring up what looked like two bracers, designed to wear round the wrist/forearm over battle clothing. These were much simpler looking though, thinner, more delicate with an intricate pattern carved into the body, not like the bulky ones he wore with his battle armour. He raised his eyebrows at her, in question.

"Bracers?"

She smiled a little reluctantly. "Not just bracers." He thinks he knows where this is going.

"Odin had these made, it took a while to get the correct level of enchantment for them to work and still be wearable. You will be required to wear them." She started opening the clasps on the underside.

"They're going to stub out my Seidr aren't they?" Of course, Loki should have seen this coming, it was obvious enough really.

"Not stub...restrict, and do you blame him really? You haven't exactly given him much reason to trust you." She gestured for him to hold out his arm.

"I have done nothing recently that suggests me a threat." He smiled a little, there was no getting out of this, and it was written plainly on his mothers face. He watched her for a moment before rolling his eyes a little and lifting his arm up. She clasped the first one in place. It was fitted to his wrists, but not too tight, he wouldn't be able to pull it off though. Once she had secured the one she moved onto the other.

"They won't do you any harm, you just won't be able to use your Seidr in the same way but you will not be completely limited." He moved his arms around a bit, they didn't restrict his movement but he was definitely aware of their presence. He would get used to them, this he knew, and he had no other choice.

"He gasped a little at a sudden sensation, as he could feel his magic draining slightly. When he had first learned to use his Seidr, when he had first properly acquired it, he felt how it filled him, a sense of power which had taken some getting used to but now he felt like he couldn't do without it, even if he wasn't using it. He could sense that it was still there, but like he couldn't quite access it or something.

"You are fine; I tried them on myself, to see what the effects would be before I allowed them to be used on you. It's a strange feeling, I understand but that is as bad as it gets, you will get used to it."

She had been right, sometimes he still missed it terribly, just feeling the way his magic flowed through him but he had quickly gotten used to the feeling and the cuffs themselves weren't too uncomfortable, he could feel them when he bent his arm or wrist but they didn't do much else.

...

He also found that he was horny, all the damn time. He felt like he had rubbed his dick raw by now and it still wasn't enough. He would end up pleasuring himself a few times a day, mostly finishing, unsatisfied. Thor had gotten used to hearing him now, though Loki mostly went to the washroom to do it, he wasn't much good at being that quiet. Some nights Thor would wake up, hearing Loki pleasuring himself on the floor next to his bed, really trying to keep the noise to a minimum.

One of the times this happened, Thor rolled over and looked at Loki from on his bed. Loki's eyes were closed, teeth grit together, face red, clearly getting nowhere with his efforts.

"You know...uh...I could probably help you out, you know, if you needed."

Loki's eyes snapped open, hands stopping, glaring up at his brother. Thor had looked at Loki questioningly when he had first seen the cuffs but just nodded when Loki told him what they were for, asking him if he was alright about it. Of course Loki had just snapped at him about how he would feel being allowed to carry Mjolnir around with him but not being allowed to use it for anything.

"I don't need anything from you" he growled, moving to get up to head to the washroom. "If you don't mind...privacy?"

"You don't have to move you know, you can stay, what difference is there really, with the door between us?"

"Cause normally I'm in another room, and you're not in my face, breathing on me." Thor just smirked at him and sat back up.

"Okay...just saying, if you need some help..."

"I'm fine, Thor." Loki snapped, moving into the washroom and shutting the door.

He knew Thor could probably still hear him, he just didn't care, and he had spent ages trying to finish himself off. Once he finally felt as close as get could get, he bit down hard on his arm, finally spilling over his hand, seed spraying up onto his chest and stomach. He sighed and relaxed down a bit before running himself a bath.

...

Thor could hear Loki miserably pleasing himself in the washroom, or quite often on the floor when it was night, Thor had taken to pretending to stay asleep while listening to Loki, who was then nothing but irritable for the rest of the time, snapping at Thor for anything and everything. Thor had woken up again one night. He could, once again, hear Loki failing to please himself on the floor. He had been lying there for ages, seeming to be getting nowhere with himself, Thor wasn't even sure why he was still bothering. He rolled to his side, watching Loki for a bit. It really wasn't doing him any good; he looked tired, fed up.

Thor reached one hand down and placed it over the hand Loki was currently stroking his own cock with. Loki stilled, completely tense, eyes opening wide to look straight at Thor, then quickly slapping his hand away, glaring at him furiously.

"Let me help Loki, apart from the fact that's it's driving me insane listening to you, you are clearly not getting anything from this, I can make it good."

"No, Thor. I do not need you to do anything for me, I'm fine, I'm just bored and this room doesn't exactly inspire when it comes to pleasuring oneself. Leave me alone." He tucked himself back into his trousers, struggling to get up he left for the washroom again. Thor sighed and tried to get back to sleep.

...

It was really warm, one night, waking Thor up with the humidity. He kicked off his covers, turning over to get some air to his back. He hated it when it was like this, like the air was thick. Everything felt sticky, it was horrible. He closed his eyes willing himself to go back to sleep.

He was distracted by a, now familiar, noise.

...

It was too hot, much, much too hot!

Loki couldn't take it but he couldn't do anything about it either. He was ready to kill someone. He hoped this would end soon. His life was currently defined as either uncomfortably aroused or jerking off. Nothing was working and he couldn't take it anymore. Not in this heat as well.

He heard Thor stir in the bed and willed him to go back to sleep. He had taken to doing this in the washroom now but tonight it was hot, his back hurt, he didn't want to move. He was so clumsy now to; nothing could be done gracefully anymore. He felt like shit most days, he knew he was being a dick to people, but he was pregnant and his life was a mess, he was allowed to.

He was sweating pretty bad, he really didn't care anymore, his eyes were squeezed tight in concentration, he just wanted to finish and be done with it, he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep in this heat anyway, maybe take a cold bath after, cool him down.

He startled when he felt a hand covering his hand again. He kept his eyes closed this time, calming his breathing down as best he could.

"We've been through this Thor, I'm fine."

"_Stop."_ That did actually make Loki pause.

"Stop what?"

"What you're doing." Loki felt his face scrunch up slightly in confusion. Thor climbed down from his bed so he was hovering a little bit above Loki on the floor.

Loki was stuck between making him get off and not. He was kind of curious, but cautious at the same time.

He felt Thor's hands on his sides, gently pushing him and Loki realised, he wanted him to turn over.

"Come on." Thor urged. "This is getting you nowhere, you need to just stop for a bit and take some time, now turn over." He firmly but gently pushed him to roll over, Loki did but he wasn't sure. Thor pushed a couple of thick cushions under his chest to take more pressure off his stomach and lay Loki back down.

"Just hold onto the pillow and relax." Loki felt something cool drip into his back, making him jump a little. Thor shushed him and the next thing Loki felt was Thor's hand pushing through whatever was on his back. He soon realised it to be oil as he felt Thor's hand sliding against his back, spreading it around up to his shoulders, squeezing lightly as he did. Loki just held onto the pillow and waited, not relaxing down, still tense, really not sure what to do at the moment.

It did feel quite nice, Loki thought, the smooth pressure sliding around his back. It felt a little uncomfortable in places where Thor dug his hands in a bit but then sometimes the extra pressure was even nicer. Thor rubbed his hands round, searching for any sensitive areas that would help him relax. Loki finally relaxed a bit more after a while, letting his head fall onto his arms, holding onto the pillow.

Thor squeezed his shoulders a little harder, balling his one hand into a fist and rubbing hard in between his shoulder blades and Loki let out an involuntary sigh, his body going limper in relaxation. He had never had this done before, people rubbing their hands over his body didn't really appeal to him but this felt damn good. Thor's hands moved to his lower back and pressed hard in the centre, moving his hand in circles, pressing hard enough that rather than his hand sliding around, it made Loki's body move with him a bit. Loki let out a hard, surprised moan as a strong sense of arousal flared in his lower stomach spreading all down his groin, making him grind his hips into the floor.

He tried to tense again when he felt Thor pulling at his trousers but his body wouldn't quite respond, he just groaned out what he hoped was a protest. Thor shushed him, telling him that all was well, he was fine. Loki felt him completely remove his trousers followed by more cold dripping onto his thighs. Then Thor's hands were back on his, smoothing along his thighs and down to his calves, squeezing and rubbing the muscles, hands dragging down to his ankles and finally his feet. Loki was pretty ticklish so Thor didn't stay on his feet for long, working his way back up his legs, round his thighs, moving his hands round to the sides as he past his backside so as to not make him tense again, back to his back and up to his shoulders.

Loki was flat out now, sometimes moaning at a particularly nice spot, his eyes closed, feeling heavy and weightless at the same time. He was aware of how unbelievably hard he was but Thor had made no moves towards that area so Loki left it for now, he continued to push his hips into the floor whenever Thor worked his lower back, he didn't know what it was but there was a strong pleasure from that area. Thor stayed around his lower back, sometimes moving to his thighs again but not moving as much as before, just pressing and rubbing in places that made Loki sigh and moan.

He felt Thor's hands rub the underside of his thighs this time, pushing his hands between him and the floor to reach, sometimes moving quite close to his groin but pulling back again before he reached anything, moving up to his lower back again, he did the same here, slipping his hands down by his stomach but pulling back before coming into contact with his cock, moving back to his thighs again and repeating these movements.

Loki felt quite tormented by this, he didn't want Thor to do anything but the next time Thor's hands went down to his stomach, he unconsciously his hips a little, panting out as he had been doing for a while now, Thor pulled back again and Loki felt a bit frustrated, he just needed the pressure, his cock was aching, he wanted to relieve himself desperately now.

Thor's hands pushed down again and Loki lifted his hips but this time Thor didn't pull back. Loki felt Thor's hand slide under his cock, slick fingers wrapping around the length and gripping with firm pressure and Loki felt like all the air had left his lungs at once. He froze for a moment.

The few seconds that Loki hesitated, Thor used to his advantage, twisting his hand a little as he stroked, a slight twinge of pain but also increasing the pleasure fast. Loki's few hesitating seconds dragging out longer. He wasn't quite sure what was going on in his head but this felt good and he wanted to push Thor off but he also wanted to grab his hand and fuck into it _hard._

Loki couldn't deny that Thor had technique and after a while he relaxed a little. Thor put his free hand on the floor next to Loki, so he was leaning more fully over the younger god and kissed his shoulder, nipping a little just after making Loki twitch in pleasure.

The hand on his cock pushed lower, and then Loki felt as Thor slid his finger along his wet entrance before pushing two fingers in, not nearly as slowly as he probably should have. Loki twitched a little, frowning in slight discomfort and he heard Thor let out a breath of arousal. Loki knew he should stop this, now.

Thor thrusted his fingers a little roughly, using his own hips to push at Loki's backside, grinding Loki's cock into the floor almost painfully. Soon, Loki was panting, trying to hide it but failing miserably. He knew Thor was watching him closely, not that he could do anything about that. He felt his body jolt as Thor removed his hand and quickly flipped him over onto his back, finally getting some air to his cock, swiftly followed by Thor's mouth engulfing him, taking him down, swirling his tongue around the head, his forehead bumping into the bottom of his rounded stomach as he went down. Loki let out a moan in shock, his breathing picking up quickly, fingers twisting into the sheets he lay on, making a lot of effort not to thrust up into Thor's mouth. Thor pushed his fingers back into Loki, adding a third with it this time.

Loki felt as Thor _scraped_ his teeth against Loki's length as he pulled back, biting a little at the head before swallowing him down again. Loki let out a moan, he hadn't intended to, but the way Thor's teeth dragged roughly along his cock, slight pain mixed with the pleasure of the way he was sucking at the head, his fingers thrusting relentlessly into him, there was no way he couldn't have let out a noise at that. The older god continued this for a few more minutes, thrusting his hand relentlessly into Loki, sucking him roughly before Loki felt Thor push his fingers into him, deeper, pressing upwards and rubbing the same spot hard, at the same time, he took Loki down to the root, biting down on the base of Loki's cock. Loki jolted hard, head flying back, squeezing his eyes shut tight and crying out loudly as his release washed over him.

...

Thor didn't let go of his cock until he felt it softening slightly, sucking off any last drops of his release and swallowing it, pulling his fingers out and sucking them clean to. Loki was still lying down, breathing raggedly. Thor took the opportunity to really look at his naked body. His face was fuller, healthier looking, he looked tired but not gaunt, and it was like his entire body had filled out with a little weight, not fat, just nicely plump in places, as an expectant mother should.

Thor let his eyes roam down to his brothers' flat chest, the milk wouldn't come in until the baby was born and by the looks of things, Loki hadn't even bothered changing that part of his body ready for when it did. Thor wasn't sure if Loki would willingly breast feed, since he didn't want the child, but surely Loki wouldn't be able to neglect it just for existing. His eyes wandered lower to Loki's round stomach. Loki was a bit iffy about people seeing his bare stomach, but it seems he had forgotten in this moment. Loki was about six and a half months into his pregnancy now. The healers had checked him over frequently, saying that he seems to be following the regular nine months, but maturely. He is a little big for how far along he is. At first they thought maybe twins, but after later examinations, they said that most likely wasn't the case. They said not to be surprised if it was a little earlier though.

...

Loki opened his eyes, still feeling a little hazy. Okay, he still hated Thor but credit where credit was due he was damn good with his mouth. Loki felt...he actually felt sated. It was such a relief he could happily sleep as he was, but it was still stupidly hot and he would regret not bathing, come the morning. Sweat was running down the side of his face and neck, slightly pooling in the indent of his collar bone.

Loki sat up, casting a quick glance at Thor who had leaned back but was still in between his legs, smiling down at him. He wasn't gloating though. As Loki's head cleared a bit more he realised that he had let him do this, he had let Thor pleasure him. There was no consent issue, he had allowed it, and he couldn't simply throw blame to the older god, because this time, he really had just helped him. Now he felt even stranger. He was frowning to himself, getting increasingly more horrified as he did. He struggled to his feet as fast as he could. Thor held onto his arms to help pull him up, Loki shrugged him off and stumbled away from him, towards to washroom a bit. He could hear Thor speaking to him, calling him, he thinks but he ignored him. He needed to gather himself again, be alone to wash away the evening, confusion and sweat.

...

Loki spent ages washing himself in cool water, relaxing his muscles, though that didn't take much since he was still feeling completely sated, kind of like jelly, glad to be finally relieved of his arousal. Thor had been in at one point, but he simply washed himself down with a basin and cloth, and then left again. Loki was glad Thor hadn't tried to talk to him; he had barely even looked at him.

Loki was struggling to think clearly about what had happened, he was tired, he was hot, now was not really the time to think but he also couldn't stop his mind from wandering back to it. He knew he couldn't trust Thor with this, Thor got too much out of being rough. He would go too far again eventually, but that's what confused Loki. It had hurt a little, Thor wasn't gentle with his fingers by anyone's standards, but, even through the pain, but it was kind of nice to be able to leave his pleasure to someone else, just give over and leave them to bring him to his release. Masturbation really wasn't his thing at all; he couldn't deny it any longer. It had been fine, great even, for a while but it soon became dull, not enough. Thor had not given him chance to be displeased with anything, because anything he didn't like was soon swallowed up by something that felt too good to disturb.

He was really trying to avoid thinking it but he wanted more. He kind of liked the pain, not being forced but maybe pushed a little bit, almost like being used but still having his own pleasure considered, ramming into him, biting him. Oh yes biting him...hard. He had felt himself getting closer to finishing but the way Thor had bitten his cock had pretty much thrown him into his release. He didn't bite gently either, he had gripped into the base of Loki's cock, Loki wasn't even sure if it was going to block his orgasm, but he didn't, he supposed the biting felt harder on something as sensitive as his cock. He knew he enjoyed biting, he only managed to get himself over the edge by biting himself sometimes, imagining it was someone else, not Thor, he wasn't attracted to Thor, even now, it just wasn't going to happen. He mostly bit his lip but he would sometimes bite his arm if he didn't have both hands in use. He didn't really find it that strange, but he bit hard. He bit so hard he left teeth marks for hours, which also bruised slightly. Hours don't sound long, but by Asgardian standards, that's as pretty long indeed, sometimes he drew blood. He didn't know what it was but the biting was almost better than the rest of it, especially when he was pleasuring himself. He had no idea how Thor had known about his thing for biting, unless he had just figured it out at the time, slightly coincidental but not impossible.

Maybe he and Thor were both fucked up, though, Thor was by far, more fucked up when it came to this. Loki liked to be bitten; he didn't want to rape anyone. Harmless kink versus major issue. Thor really needed to be careful. Maybe that's why he let himself go more with Loki, he knew Loki wasn't going to just rat him out, regardless of what it was he had done, that's not how Loki worked. He worked on revenge, he got his own back, and this time he really had, too. Thor's face when he thought Loki was going to revenge rape him, if it hadn't been such a serious thing, Loki would have openly laughed at him. Loki figured Thor was only into rape when he was the one doing it, he definitely did not like to be on the receiving end of that, he didn't become the slightest bit aroused, as Loki had thought he might. That's when Loki had realised that it wasn't about him, Thor wasn't just attracted to Loki, okay maybe he was a little, but that night was supposed to have been about impregnating him. He figured Thor had originally intended to at least ask him first, but as it had come down to it, mixed with a lot of alcohol, the rape fantasy had gotten the better of him and he just couldn't resist. He must regret it, even if just slightly, but Loki didn't doubt for a second that, were he offered the chance again, he wouldn't take it. Thor May have been drunk but Loki was stone cold sober, he remembered how much Thor had loved every second of it, from the moment he entered the room, right up until he had fallen asleep. The more Loki had struggled, the more Thor had enjoyed it.

Loki sighed, he didn't know what he would do about this, he could tell himself, swear to himself that he hadn't enjoyed it, but he didn't believe it for a second. It had been great, he couldn't deny but he was far more controlled than this, he would find a way around this. He knew Thor would offer it again, and regardless of what his mind was currently feeling, his body was screaming that it wanted more, so much more. He could not let this get the better of him. This was Thor, his rapist, the reason he was currently incubating this little parasite with his own body, the reason he was still here when he could be dead and done with everything by now. He hated Thor so much for that and Thor wanted them to build up their trust and eventually, their relationship and he just couldn't, that was never going to happen. He couldn't let this go further; this was disturbing enough as it was. Loki knew he was messed up but fucking Hel he had to get a grip on himself fast!

He knew where Thor would go that would keep him until, sometimes quite late, into the evening. He had figured it out a while ago. Thor was still trying to plead Loki's case, of course he wouldn't have given up yet, and Loki wouldn't have even hoped for that, even though he had already given up himself, he didn't care anymore, he just wanted to end. He understood that Thor wanted to save him, but Thor didn't seem to realise that even if he did succeed, what would become of him anyway? Odin wouldn't just leave him unpunished. No one would ever trust him after this; he would just be some burdening presence, not able to work with any of them again because they would assume him to just betray them again, which they were right to, because he probably would. His death was the easier, better option for everyone. He wouldn't be able to stop Thor from trying though.

He slowly stood up, letting the water drip off him for a few minutes before stepping out of the bath and drying himself off. He just wanted to sleep now, even if it was on that piece of shit thing he had made on the floor, it hurt but it was better than nothing and right now, Loki really didn't care.

When Loki came back into Thor's room, the older god was asleep. Except, he wasn't asleep on his own bed, but on Loki's sorry excuse for one. He's done this on purpose, Loki thought. The great oaf couldn't help himself, but he was going to regret it in the morning, Loki would know. Sighing, he climbed into Thor's bed, secretly enjoying the soft padding against his sore back. He turned onto his side and quickly fell asleep.

...

He was quite annoyed to wake up feeling a little horny again, but it was nothing he couldn't deal with for now. He was glad the morning sickness had mostly stopped but he still couldn't hold down anything other than eggs and cream.

He rolled over and stretched, savouring the feeling of waking up on the soft bed. He heard a groan as Thor woke up, slowly standing up and stretching out. He looked up and saw Loki was also awake.

"I know of your stubbornness Loki, but how in Hel you have slept on that for six months, I know not."

Loki smirked at him. Thor didn't smile back but Loki could see the amusement in his eyes.

"I suppose you slept just fine?"

"Hmmm I did actually, surprising what the difference of a few cushions can change."

"I think it was a little more than just changing a few cushions but I don't disagree. Which is also why, you are not sleeping on this again, and you will sleep in my bed, even if you make me sleep on the floor for the next few months, you are not lying on this, and it must be doing awful things to your back. I ache and I'm not even carrying a child."

Loki sighed. "Honestly Thor, I'm fi..."

"Do not make me go to mother on this one, because believe me...I will."

Loki closed his mouth, he could argue with Thor until he was blue in the face -not even an intended pun- but if his mother was involved, he would lose, not a chance in Hel.

"Fine, but don't think this changes anything."

Thor stared at him. "What could have possibly changed?" Loki just looked at him.

"Never mind." Loki said, turning away and busying himself with making the bed. Thor stood up to turn to him properly.

"No, Loki, speak to me, don't ignore it. Last night happened, I'm not going to pretend it didn't, and I won't let you do that either." He moved forward to take Loki's arm, pulling him round to face him but Loki roughly shoved him off.

"No Thor! Don't touch me; you think because of last night, anything will have changed? It hasn't Thor, it was a mistake and it won't be happening again. Back off!"

Loki turned swiftly to walk away but his head spun, vision spotting out and went black.

When his head cleared and vision returned, he was on the floor, a worried looking Thor holding his shoulders, speaking to him. What he was saying, Loki didn't have a clue. He pushed Thor away, quickly scrambling, clumsily to his feet and dashing to the washroom to throw up.

Thor followed him and rubbed his back, pulling his hair out of his face, whispering things to him that Loki wasn't listening to. He tried to push Thor's hands off of him, still trying to lean over the bowl. So much for no morning sickness, he thought as he tried to spit the bitter taste from his mouth. He sat down on the floor, catching his breath again. Thor got him some water, which he rinsed his mouth with before drinking the rest.

"You okay?" Thor asked after, he made no move towards him this time though, which Loki was glad for. The younger god just glared up at him and didn't say anything; he still looked a bit ill, eyes not really focusing. He paused for a moment before leaning back up and throwing up the rest of his stomach's contents. Thor winced at how horrible it must be. The Asir didn't really get sick much so this wasn't something either of them was used to.

It was actually his mother who had told Thor to rub Loki's back, Loki was the only thing she really spoke to him about now, how to make him more comfortable, what's better for him and what's not, otherwise she hadn't really spoken to him much recently, which didn't really surprise him. He knew she had held back how she had really felt about what he had done to Loki, she had kept herself reserved and subtle, even now, she still was, but there was definitely a coldness now that wasn't there before. It had taken her a few weeks to talk to him more normally again but when she did, it was often related to Loki. When it came to the morning sickness, she said it always made it easier to deal with. So he did, he rubbed Loki's back, he pulled his hair out of his face, he sometimes got a cold damp cloth and wiped Loki's brow, but he would mostly push him away after he had finished heaving enough to breath.

Loki sat back again and sighed, Thor asked him again if he was okay, this time he croaked out a "yes" and combed his fingers through his own hair. He rinsed his mouth again when Thor fetched him some more water and drank down the rest, like before.

"This is definitely the hardest part so far." He sighed after a few minutes, more to himself than to Thor. He was sweating a little, it was still really hot, but he made no move to do anything about it just yet, just in case.

"I thought the morning sickness had stopped now. Maybe you should see a healer." Thor looked at Loki, a little concerned.

Loki shook his head. "I'm fine." He slowly tried to stand up, Thor moving forward, wanting to help him but Loki put his hand up, signalling that he was okay so he held back. He was pretty big for only six months of pregnancy, not massive but enough to struggle a little to get around. Getting up off the floor was the hardest.

Loki winced a little as he stood up straight, his back always felt stiff in a morning, regardless of how comfortably the bed was, it seemed. Thor noticed his discomfort.

"Come on, let's go walk around the grounds a bit, loosen your joints." Loki gave him a strange look.

"Uhh...no? I'll go take a walk around and you can go do whatever the Hel you want, away from me. I mean it Thor, leave me alone." He didn't want to discuss last night with Thor, definitely not now. He was trying to be close to Loki, as though one strange night could send it all back to how it had been before.

"Loki...please..."

"No...Thor. Say nothing else; I implore you, not a word." He headed back into the bedroom and towards the door.

"The guards will just follow you, you won't really be alone." Loki didn't even stop walking, or look back.

"I'll take that over you." And he left, two guards quick to follow.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Dark chapter. You have been warned.

It had been a few days since the night that Thor had 'relieved' Loki of his arousal problem. Neither of the Gods had said a word about it since the morning after. Loki thinks he had hurt Thor with the last thing he had said to him.

"I'll take that over you." He didn't care; Thor needed to get over the fact that they weren't ever going to be as they once were. He only really saw Thor in evenings anyway, and even that was pretty late, he didn't know what Thor was planning to do to get Odin to lower his sentence and he didn't really care.

Loki had gone back to doing it himself, and although he tried to keep generally quiet, he knew that Thor could hear the displeased groans he made in the washroom. One of the evenings after he had left the washroom, unsatisfied and generally pissed off, Thor decided to say something.

"You know, the healers might be able to help, if you would just tell them, you don't have to keep it to yourself, it's nothing to be ashamed of Loki." Loki had just ignored him but he knew that Thor was right. Even if they couldn't help they might have some reasons as to why it was happening anyway. He pulled off his shirt and went to bed. Thor said nothing else.

...

He felt Thor's hands on his shoulders, squeezing a little before sliding down and past his sides, stopping to undo the clasps on his trousers. Loki breathed deeply, feeling the anticipation buzzing in his stomach. He heard movement and felt Thor's hair tickle at his chest before wet lips were on his chest, sucking small kisses into his skin. His breathing jumped a little when Thor sucked the areas harder. Bite me, he thought...come on...not hard yet...just little...ahh...come on.

Thor didn't, he pulled back, Loki opened his eyes, seeing Thor smirking down at him. He knew he was teasing Loki a little. Loki just glared at him and closed his eyes again, waiting for what came next.

He felt himself being tugged as Thor pulled at is trousers now; Loki struggled to lift his hips enough but Thor got them off, along with his underwear. Loki could feel the breeze from the open window, the cool air feeling nice against his hot skin, especially his cock. He felt Thor grab his thighs and push his legs further apart, leaning down and biting at the inside of his thigh. Loki jumped, letting out a surprised moan. Oh...yes...more...bite more! Thor sucked and nipped along his thigh, getting closer to Loki's quim. Loki panted roughly through his mouth, his hips tensing; waiting for Thor's mouth to finally reach...just a little more...yes...come on...Loki tried to shift his hips to get himself in contact with Thor's tongue, currently licking at the crease where his thigh became his groin.

He heard Thor chuckle at his efforts, pulling back and moving to the other thigh. Loki let out a frustrated groan, followed by more little breathy moans, going back to panting, hands fisting into the sheets. He let out a long tense breath when he could feel Thor's mouth hovering right above his sex, his lips barely brushing his warm flesh. Loki knew what was coming, he just didn't know when Thor would finally give in and just do it. After a few seconds Thor, much, much too slowly stuck his tongue out, digging his way into Loki's sex and dragging up a little to torment his clit. Loki sighed out in pleasure, pushing his hips up a little to get more, but it just made Thor pull back a bit.

He could feel Thor as he licked and kissed around Loki's entrance, his tongue dipping lightly towards the inside sometimes but not pushing in, making Loki pant out in need. Loki's cock was hard and twitching just above where Thor was currently playing. Loki jumped in surprised pleasure as Thor's mouth left his entrance and gave him a surprise lick on his cock head, before going back down to his quim, dipping his tongue towards the entrance again and moving his tongue in little circles. This time he pushed in and Loki couldn't stop the moan the escaped. Oh...oh my...how is he getting his tongue that deep? Loki continued to moan as Thor pushed his mouth right up against his sex, plunging his tongue as deep as he could, wriggling his tongue against his inner walls.

He pulled his mouth away again and moved down, tongue now flicking against his, much tighter entrance. Loki had heard of people doing this, though he had never even considered it as a thing he would give or receive but as he lay there, he couldn't even think of a reason why this was ever a horrible idea. He just wanted to grab Thor's head and shamefully grind against his mouth.

He moaned out so loud at what Thor was doing, he could actually feel Thor laugh a little against his hole, which just added to the feeling. His mind flooded with pleas for more. Yes...oh...gods...yes...more...please...do it...put your tongue in...Ohgodsohgodshgods! He froze when he realised he had actually said most of that out loud, then he decided he couldn't give a shit as Thor did as he said, pushing his tongue forward...hard.

Thor pulled his mouth back a little and Loki felt as Thor scissored two fingers around his own tongue to get them wet, then pushed them in as he pulled his tongue away, instantly crooking his fingers around. Loki knew he was searching for the pleasure deep inside him. As Thor hit at just the right angle, Loki's hips bucked violently, his legs hooking round Thor's shoulders in an attempt to bury Thor into him. Thor pushed against the spot repeatedly, making Loki moan incoherently.

Loki felt Thor's tongue return to his quim, dragging straight up to the head of his cock, taking it in his mouth and sliding down around him until Loki felt himself hit the back of Thor's throat. He tried so hard not to buck hard into his mouth but he couldn't help the little humping motions he kept doing. Thor didn't seem to mind, he continued to thrust his fingers against the spot.

When he felt Thor push his thumb into Loki's sex, as well as the other two fingers digging into his ass and his mouth sucking hard at his cock, teeth dragging along the length, Loki lost it. His whole body tensed and shuddered as his cock pulsed down Thor's throat, even as Thor continued to suck him dry. He couldn't understand the noises that came out of his throat, nor could he stop them, his mouth open wide, eyes squeezing so tight, hands gripping and pulling the covers as his heels pushed hard against Thor's shoulders, pulling him as close as he could and holding him in place. Both of his entrances clamped down hard, convulsing around Thor's fingers. Loki could do nothing but let it happen, he couldn't even ride it out, so he just lay still as his entire body completely left his control. His release felt like it would never end but as it did finally die down into the aftershocks, Loki's body shivered and he could only lie there and breathe raggedly.

He felt Thor pull away and Loki made to stand up but Thor grabbed him by the neck, flipping him round and throwing him down so he was on his stomach, he had to put his hands out quickly to stop him from landing on the baby.

"You don't really think I'm finished with you yet do you?" Thor laughed darkly, climbing back on top of him, pushing his head down and biting into his shoulder, Loki felt himself shudder at that but no, he couldn't, not now, get off, Thor...please, get off get off get off!

He struggled but Thor just turned him back over and slapped his face hard, his own face coming closer, screaming at him. "STOP STRUGGLING!" Over and over again he repeated it, slapping him between each shout. Tears streamed from Loki's eyes but Thor just laughed louder at him.

"Oh no, little brother, you're not going to cry this time, you're not playing that with me again. I know you like this, I proved it last time, and I'm gonna prove it again now..." He moved back down and Loki screamed. He didn't stop screaming, no matter how many times Thor hit him, he struggled with everything he had, kicking, grabbing at Thor's face.

"Loki..." Thor tried to speak but Loki wouldn't let him, he kept hitting, kept screaming.

"Loki...it's okay...stop..." Loki wasn't going to let Thor do this to him again, never again. Thor grabbed his wrists hard, pinning him down, no longer slapping him, but he covered him with his own body, stopping Loki from being able to move. Loki stopped screaming but he continued to cry, he started begging.

"Thor...please...get off...I'm not...I don't...stop...I don't want this..." Thor sat up and Loki tried to move but Thor still held him in place.

"Loki? You're okay, all is well, do you understand? Your fine, everything is fine. I don't know what happened, you fell off my bed on top of me then started screaming. I didn't mean to hit you but I couldn't get you to stop." Loki frowned at Thor, utterly confused. What was he talking about, was he really going to pretend he hadn't just been about to rape him.

"You...you..." He started to stutter. "You...what?" He was sweating terribly and there was an uncomfortable wetness around his lower stomach, when he tried to move.

"Get off!" He spat, making Thor back off and stand up and Loki clambered to his feet before heading straight to the washroom, slamming the door.

What had just happened? Loki paced around the room, trying to calm down, he was too hot, he needed to breathe and think. Had he just been asleep? He looked down inside his pants. He had climaxed at some point. But Thor had swallowed his seed. So it had been a dream. Shit. How much did Thor know? He said he had screamed, what else had Loki said? Questions flooded his mind, too many thoughts, making him feel dizzy.

He stopped and sat down on the cool floor, the parasite was kicking terribly. He just wanted it to keep still, he jabbed himself in the side sharply, before his anger took over and he started hitting himself repeatedly, hitting his stomach, his sides, his thighs, biting his tongue and lips hard not to make too much noise. The thing inside him stopped squirming and he calmed down. Grabbing his hair he pulled on it, just to feel the pain of real life. He could recognise now, the difference between life and the dream but he had been so confused, he never wanted to feel like that again.

And he had released? He had actually come? Oh gods, what was wrong with him? He wasn't a child any more, he was sure he had been beyond coming his pants by now. He rested his head down onto his hands, feeling his own face burning in shame. He wondered if Thor had noticed that he had released. What if he had moaned Thor's name? He knows he did in the dream, he had been begging for more and writhing, moaning, shouting...oh gods! If Thor mentioned any of this he would throttle him! Tears sprung back to his eyes and he tried to keep them in but he could feel his chest swelling with a sob. Why was he losing control so easily? Why couldn't he keep anything together anymore? It was not fair.

He stood up slowly, walking over to the small balcony that could be accessed from both the washroom and Thor's rooms, but Thor hadn't come out, so Loki pushed open the door a little, as quietly as he could and stepped out. He walked forward to the small wall, looking over and down at the rocks far below.

He could jump, he thought, he could jump now and be done with it all. He would be seen as a coward but what did he care, they probably thought worse of him anyway. No one outside of the palace knew about what had really happened, only that Loki was with child and the execution had been pushed back. They all thought Loki was part of it, that he had wanted this, to live. If they really knew, there was no way their precious Thor could ever be king, then there would be no one, it would fall to the courts.

Loki chuckled to himself lightly, Odin would simply refuse to die if that were the case, he would refuse to die until a suitable heir was brought about. Images of an impossibly old Odin, propped up on his throne came to his mind, making him laugh more. Damn he wasn't supposed to be laughing right now, he really couldn't help it, tears were still streaming down his cheeks, but he was laughing more and more, taking short panting breaths between each bout. Then he found he wasn't laughing at anything really, nothing and everything at the same time, how much had changed in this short few years.

He was laughing so much he felt the thing in him start squirming again, he couldn't even bring himself to care, and he just kept laughing. He started climbing up the wall, lifting his leg with a struggle, until it was bent over the wall, hoisting his other leg over so he was now sitting on the wall, his feet just about touching the small chunk of floor that protruded after the wall, before the long drop that would surely kill him, if he were to 'fall'. His swollen stomach was making it harder to keep his balance but it didn't really matter. He was still laughing to himself as he did this, but still crying at the same time. Gods, he had really lost it. This thought just made him laugh harder.

He bent forward, pushing his feet so they weren't supported by anything, balance not particularly stable. Jump, he thought, do it now, you should have done it years ago. You're not even supposed to be here now, you should have died when you let go on the Bifrost. You're living stolen time, breathing stolen air. It would be easier for everyone if you just jumped. You don't even have to jump, just let go, let your body fall. He lifted his arms up, keeping them out, laughing to himself, he leaned forward just a little, that's all it would take anyway. He felt himself starting to slip forward, willing himself not to grab on again. He knew he wouldn't, he wanted this too much.

He jolted hard and fell, landing much faster than he had thought he would, and a lot softer to. It took him a minute to realise he hadn't fallen forward, but backwards, landing on the floor of the balcony and the soft floor beneath him was actually Thor. Once Loki put together what had happened, in his head, he started laughing to himself again. Of course, Thor wasn't going to just let him die, not after everything he had done - and was 'secretly' still doing - to keep Loki alive. The fool, Loki thought, laughing more. He hadn't even bothered to move so Thor could get up, not that he needed to. Thor shifted him off soon enough, so he was sat on the floor. Thor jumped up, turning to Loki, face red with anger.

"Have you gone completely insane?" Loki's laughter turned into uncontrolled giggling. Thor looked so disturbed, so deeply confused by Loki that he couldn't not laugh at him. He lay back onto the floor, trying to control his laughter, if just so he could breathe. Thor lunged forward, yanking Loki up by his shoulders.

"In what way is this even remotely funny Loki? Huh? Because really, I'd love to know." he shoved Loki back roughly then pushed him back through the door and into his rooms. He didn't stop until Loki hit the edge of the bed, falling back onto it, not laughing anymore, but glaring up at Thor. From the look on the older gods face, Loki thought for a moment that Thor might launch at him again but he didn't, he stood his ground, breathing furiously.

"What?" Loki said simply. It might not be a good idea to test Thor but he really couldn't care less now. If Thor really thought he was going to be giving Loki a talk about right and wrong, then Loki was going to make it feel as utterly pointless as it was. Thor seemed to be lost for words, his face increasingly red.

"After everything? You want to give up now...after all this?" Thor made solid eye contact with him but Loki refused to look away, he would not feel ashamed by this.

"Oh come on, it's not like I was actually going to let go." He lied. So much for not seeming ashamed.

"I saw you lean forward...if I hadn't grabbed you...I...you really don't care do you?" Loki just stared at him. He had only just figured this out?

Thor's entire stance seemed to sag slightly. He turned and closed the balcony doors before moving towards the washroom. He stopped before shutting the door, turning back to Loki who was still sitting on the bed.

"I will not let you die Loki; I will do everything in my power to keep you alive and healthy, especially while you are carrying a child...my child. Tomorrow, you will go to the healers, you will tell them every problem you are having, every slight discomfort, no matter how minuscule and you will let them check you over, no exceptions." Then he closed the door and Loki was alone, the room suddenly seemed very quiet and still.

"What do you care anyway? You're fighting a battle that was lost a long time ago!" Loki yelled at the closed door, expecting Thor to come barging back out with a speech about how they had once been brothers and how he would fight to bring his brother back to him. He didn't.

After a few minutes, Loki gave up and just settled himself back into bed. Thor seemed to think he owned him, and what, just because he forced a child within him? What did Thor even care for the thing anyway, it was just some stupid plan to keep Loki alive, which failed and now he will be stuck, the palace will now be stuck with an unwanted half-breed creature.

It all felt like such a waste of time.

Thor emerged from the washroom some time later, walking over and climbing down onto the blankets on the floor.

"I won't give up on you, Loki. I can't, I just...I love you too much for that."

Loki sighed, still lying down, not looking at the older god. "It's not your decision Thor."

"I know but I can't just leave it at this, not after everything, I won't." Thor replied, voice small, compared to before. Loki didn't want to continue the conversation, now he just wanted to sleep.

"I know."

...

A rather irritated Loki lay on a table while healers buzzed around him. They had poked and prodded, squeezed and pinched, saying not a single word. Loki hated being picked at like a test subject but he waited as patiently as he could, hands gripping the edge of the table. Thor was standing next to him, he had pretty much dragged Loki to see the healers because he didn't actually trust Loki to go, with good reason since Loki hadn't actually intended to but Thor made sure he couldn't get out of it. Besides, if they could help him maybe it would be worth it.

Loki became even more on edge when one of the healers said she needed to examine him inside. She made him sit back, albeit a little hesitantly based on the murderous looks Loki was throwing at her. The healers were often a little edgy around Loki now, though he never actually did anything, he would jolt sometimes, if they did something he didn't like, his head would snap in their direction, the look on his face pretty terrifying. They were very cautious around him, especially with things like this. He knew that they knew of his dual sex, so it was not like they would be receiving any surprises down there. He still wasn't comfortable with being placed on display like that. Eventually, Loki sighed and lay back, letting the healer place a sheet over his stomach and thighs, which he was secretly quite grateful for, even if it did nothing to ease his discomfort. She gently spread his legs and Loki tried to keep his reserve, even as he could hear her rubbing herbal oil on her hands.

He tensed as her hands touched him but he did his best to relax as she inserted a couple of fingers. He looked straight up, frowning uncomfortably at the feel of her prodding about but she soon pulled her fingers out, giving him a chance to relax. That didn't last for long though as her touch returned but this time lower, pressing, much more gently, into his anus, making him jump and let out a surprised noise, which made her pull back slightly. He glared harshly down towards her as she slowly continued. He grew even tenser as she reached his prostate, rubbing against and around it slightly. He kept as still as he could but he could feel the start of a quiet, uncomfortable moan making its way towards the back of his throat, he cleared his throat a bit to cover it and bit his lip to keep quiet after. She looked up at him.

"You mentioned the arousal often feeling low, coming from your lower back, correct?" Was she really talking to him while her fingers were deep up his ass? He grit his teeth and nodded. She nodded to herself and pulled away, turning to wash her hands. He breathed in relief. That was horrible, as was the moment that Thor placed his hand on Loki's shoulder. He threw a glance at Thor. The older god straightened up, removing his hand and placing it more towards the back of the table instead.

The healer turned back to them, addressing Loki directly, whereas most people only addressed Loki through Thor now, he felt a slight warmth towards her for that, she made him feel like he was still his own person.

"Well, there seems to be nothing wrong, your health is fine, the baby is doing just fine, quite a strong kick she has there. You're maybe a little big for how far along you are but big babies is a normal thing anyway, just have to be extra careful, keep and extra eye on you when you're closer to the birth." She smiled at him warmly, then frowned in question at Thor's face. Loki looked up at the older god, realising what he was reacting to.

"She?" He finally asked. The healers face dropped.

"Oh...oh my, I thought you knew. My sincerest apologies your highness, I did not mean to ruin the surprise." She looked slightly terrified that she had given it away. Of course, Loki had known, his magic had allowed him to tell pretty early on, he didn't think Thor would have really cared much, it's not like they were playing happy families.

A smile spread on Thor's face as he seemed to register what that meant.

"A girl" he tested, smiling a bit more as he said it out loud. Loki just raised his eyebrows at him. Thor looked to Loki and Loki just mumbled flatly "congratulations..." Thor's smile dropped and Loki knew he had ruined the moment a little...good. This wasn't Thor's place to be excited about whatever gender the child was. Loki turned to the healer.

"It's okay, you didn't ruin anything, I don't mind him knowing." He said evenly. She seemed to look a little relieved after but she soon returned to her professional role as healer.

"Okay, well, over all, everything seems fine, but as I mentioned before, a little big for six and a half months, nothing to worry about, you might just struggle to walk around a little by the end." Oh yes, nothing big, just no walking, yeah sounds fine, Loki thought bitterly to himself. He let her continue uninterrupted.

"One little concern. The baby's position is a little...strange. It's not abnormal, I have seen this many times before, it is just quite low in the womb. This is nothing to worry about for now, this could cause a couple of small problems at birth when the baby turns ready for delivery but we can deal with that if or when we need to. One thing this does affect now though, which I haven't seen before since all of my other patients have been...well...female." She smiled at him timidly. Loki just raised his eyebrows at her.

"I do believe I have all the correct...shall we say...equipment?..that would be required for the development and delivery of the...child, am I Wrong?"

"No, no, not at all, you have all that will be necessary. It's simply that, as a male, you have parts to your anatomy that women don't, in this case, a prostate." Loki frowned, confused.

"What difference does that make?"

"Well, the baby's low position made me wonder combined with the fact that you haven't needed to leave to urinate once since you came in here. I think the placenta, which is the sack that the baby is in, is not putting much pressure on your bladder, which I'm sure is nice but I think it is putting some pressure onto your prostate, and that is most likely, what's causing the arousal. It won't cause you any harm, but if I am correct, it will most likely get a bit worse as the baby grows, towards the due date." Loki was surprised there was even a possible reason in the first place, not just another pregnancy thing.

"I mean, it is normal for a person's sexual arousal to be increased generally throughout pregnancy anyway. As is the problems with reaching climax during sexual activity, it's far more common than people will often admit, though it's completely normal, nothing to be embarrassed about."

Loki thought for a moment. "So there's nothing that can be done, about the pressure I mean?" She pressed her lips together.

"Not that I know of, like I said, I haven't dealt with this before, if you do find a way to relieve the problem, do let me know, just in case I may ever come across another patient...like yourself. In the mean time, I shall do some research and see what I can find out. I won't use your names of course, confidentiality and all that, no worries." She smiled at them both, backing away towards the door as she did.

"Oh...wait." Thor called out before she could leave. Loki looked at him. What else could he possibly need to know? The young healer stopped looking at Thor questioningly?

"I was just wondering, are sex dreams a normal part of pregnancy, or would that be a separate thing, and nightmares too?" Loki's eyes went wide, had he not been embarrassed enough for today without this to add to it? The healer looked to Loki for a moment, he felt his face flushing deeply, and he looked away.

"Uhh...I get a lot of pregnant women who have increased nightmares yes, often wake up screaming and crying because they are so bad. People don't tend to voice it so much if they are having erotic dreams, but I would imagine it is pretty normal, especially added with the situation we were discussing moments ago." She was looking at Loki again, even though it had been Thor's question. Loki was a little too embarrassed to appreciate it at this moment though.

"If it is a problem though, there are some herbal drinks I can provide which women have said help a lot with the nightmares, I'm not so sure about the other dreams but if you want to try them at any point, you can just ask." He looked in her direction, somewhat and shook his head subtly. She turned to Thor and he just nodded at her, showing that she had answered sufficiently.

"I'll let you put your clothes back on, if you have any other concerns between now and our next meeting, be sure to come in, you're always welcome." Loki nodded at her politely. Once she had left, Loki turned to slide down off of the bed.

"I don't think that last bit was really necessary." Loki glared at him." Besides, what did I tell you? Useless. Of course there was no way to help." Thor held him steady as he stepped into his trousers, hitching them up and pulling his shirt down over his round stomach. He didn't push Thor away for now; he found that the older god was easier to deal with if he just let him do simple little things to help. Plus his balance was completely out now because of his round stomach. Thor, who had been in a continuously good mood since earlier that morning when they'd had a calmer chat and Loki had finally agreed to let Thor take him to the healers, just smiled down at him.

"Well, you weren't going to mention it and I did say 'everything'." Loki wasn't stupid; he knew full well that Thor would take his new found sense of tolerance as a starting point for their 'relationship' to build back up. He seemed to think that he was finally getting through to Loki but Loki had just gotten to the point where he couldn't be bothered to argue with him anymore. Besides, Thor was within his right to make orders to Loki, which he had been reluctant to do until last night. Loki didn't want it to get to that though, who knew where that would lead them.

For now he was holding his patience.


	9. Chapter 9

Loki felt huge. He felt humongous, he couldn't believe how big he was now, it was also pretty concerning at only seven and a half months in. There was no way he could go the full nine months like this, he would explode. It was only his stomach that was big; the rest of him was mostly like his usual build, a little more filled out because of the eggs and ice cream. It was a struggle to carry the huge bulge of his stomach around now and he barely left Thor's rooms now. He missed going outside terribly.

As for his arousal, the healer seemed to have been right, except, as the creature had gotten bigger, it moved up slightly, so that it would be able to turn and because it couldn't fit properly where it had been, in the position it was. This was a massive relief to Loki, since he now wasn't walking round with a constant erection. However, this did nothing to stop the strange sex dreams/nightmares.

He was having them quite often now, every few days, sometimes more. It was getting weirder though. Before, all the sex dreams became nightmares after he came; now the nightmare part was starting to mesh with the sex. Except, it wasn't ruining the dream, simply becoming part of it.

...

"Whoa...ahh...Thor...slow down a little...getting too rough."

Thor smirked down at him, not slowing down at all.

"That's not what you were saying earlier." He thrust in sharply a couple of times, Loki let out a few pained grunts at Thor's rough jabs into him, trying to pretend he wasn't enjoying it. He wondered how far Thor would go now though. He knew Thor loved this, loved forcing Loki, except now, Loki kind of wanted to be forced.

Thor sped his pace up, leaning his weight onto one arm he brought his hand up and tried to force the two fingers he had been pleasuring Loki with, earlier, into the younger gods mouth. Loki sealed his lips shut, struggling a little but Thor grabbed his jaw with his other fingers and worked his fingers harder into his mouth. Smiling down at Loki, he roughly thrust his fingers in and out of his mouth, pushing deeply into his throat, making Loki gag and choke a bit.

"Come now, Loki, get them nice and wet, it's in your own best interest to do so...hey!..Bite me again, you will regret it." Loki just stared at him in defiance, feeling Thor's grip on his jaw tighten painfully, pushing more towards his neck.

Thor quickly pulled his fingers out of Loki's throat, the younger god gasping a little for air. He moved his arm lower and Loki could feel the wet digits prodding at his, currently unoccupied, entrance. He panicked a little when he realised what Thor was going to do.

"No...Thor...no...not both...yet...just one...ahh...please!" Of course Thor didn't listen to that and Loki felt the strong pressure on his entrance, before his body gave in slightly, the pressure turning into a burning as he was stretched. Thor didn't stop until his fingers were as far in as he could get, prodding around to find the spot, inside Loki, that would have him begging for more, even if not in words. When Thor had done this, Loki hadn't been so sure what he had been looking for, he knew men lay with other men, he didn't know that there was actually so much pleasure to get from it...ahh!

Loki's whole body shuddered deeply when Thor rubbed at just the right angle. Any pain from the quick breach, instantly forgotten as he continued to rub that spot without stopping. Loki could only lay there, his body taking over his mind, and let it happen. The moans he let out couldn't be controlled, just like the first time, except, this time, it was a welcome feeling. He had not touched himself here before, only Thor had done this to him, he was still not quite sure he understood why it felt as good as it did. He knew what the prostate was, and that was what Thor was hitting, but why it sent little jolts of fire through his lower back and made his cock twitch, he didn't know, or even care to ask right now.

Thor pummelled into both of Loki's entrances, breathing pretty hard himself but Loki knew he was far from done. He thrust his fingers in deep again, rubbing them hard against the really sensitive spot inside him.

"Th-Thor...ahahhh...stop...tha-that's...too...much...pull back...too much...Thor!" With the constant pressure on his prostate from the parasite, it had been pretty abused over the last couple of months, and Thor wasn't being gentle.

Thor pushed upwards hard, using the hand inside Loki as leverage, pushing Loki up into a slight sitting position against the cushions, changing the angle of his fingers. So now, his fingers, no matter how much Loki squirmed, were crushing against his prostate, nails slightly scratching at the sensitive area, sending shots of white hot pleasure through Loki, so intense it was almost painful.

Loki squeezed his eyes tight, grinding his teeth hard at the sensation, his legs moving around, trying to get leverage against something. He moaned helplessly and Thor lowered his upper body close to Loki, licking and kissing along his chest and neck. Come on, Loki thought, bite me...please...oh gods it would feel so good...bite me...do it!

"Come on Loki...come on little brother...give it to me, I know you can, I know your loving every second of this." Loki was sweating hard now, as was Thor, just not quite as much.

Thor thrust up hard into Loki, fingers also still pressing hard against the pleasure inside, he lapped up the sweat that had pooled in the dent of Loki's collar bone, before moving his head along the protruding bone and biting down so hard, Loki yelped out loudly in pain, the sound turning straight into a yell of repeating Thor's name over and over in pure pleasure as he came, both holes clamping down so hard on Thor, he bit down harder to keep his own release at bay. Loki's cock pulsed violently across his stomach, without needing to be touched. Everything in Loki's mind turned to white, nothing was anything, and it was all just bliss.

Thor didn't stop his movements even after Loki had come back to awareness and was now squirming hard to get Thor off.

"Thor..." He slurred slightly. "Stop...Thor; it's too sensitive it hurts...Thor...please...stop." Thor chuckled darkly, pulling his hand out of Loki but not stopping his thrusts. Loki could deal with that though, that wasn't painfully sensitive. Thor leaned down again and licked over the deep bite mark on Loki's upper chest.

"What is it about the biting that gets you off so hard?" Loki just looked at him, as blankly as he could since Thor was still pumping into him roughly.

"I...don't know...ahh...what is it...ah...ab-about rape...that g-gets you off...so much..?"

Thor didn't reply, he just smiled down sinisterly at Loki and thrust harder, leaning on one arm again and grabbing Loki's flaccid cock, squeezing and rubbing it roughly, trying to coax it back to life. Loki winced at the sensitivity of his spent cock.

"I'm fine Thor...ah fuck!..I came...I'm good...no more...just finish yourself now...please." Thor didn't let go of him, it took a while but he did eventually become hard again and Thor thrust harder again, building Loki's orgasm up again, Loki could feel it, he hoped Thor would at least come this time, he was going to be ridiculously over sensitive after.

He knew Thor was close, the way his thrusts grew erratic, the older god leaned down again, biting over the exact same place as before refusing to let go. The pain was even worse now and Loki yelled out, being sent straight into his second orgasm, his body shivering through it. His cock squirting out more cum, Loki was sure he would be empty now. Thor followed just after, as Loki was still out of his mind on endorphins, pulsing deeply inside Loki.

Loki breathed a loud sigh of relief when Thor pulled out. He let his body relax for a moment before slowly trying to get up and go wash. Thor, once again, had a different idea, grabbing Loki's shoulders and forcing him back down onto the bed, flipping him round so he was on his stomach, and Loki quickly scrambled to his knees, leaning his upper body forward on his elbows. He knew where this was going, just like the first time, he thought.

Thor lined himself up with Loki's other entrance this time. Loki tried to 'fight' him off, though not really, he knew it would be pointless to try and he wanted it this way, he wanted Thor to fuck him hard, brutally, make him bleed, Loki didn't care. Thor fisted one hand into the back of Loki's hair, forcing his face down into the bed. The younger god let out a shout of pain, trying to turn his head so that he could at least breathe. He pressed his backside upwards, asking Thor for it, while wriggling and making desperate grunts.

"How deep should I go?" Thor asked, breathlessly.

Loki moaned hard at his question. "Ahh...deep...deep Thor...so deep! Please!"

Thor pressed in, not as roughly as Loki had expected but he didn't stop, getting deeper and deeper. When Thor's cock did brush up against Loki's prostate, the younger god was pleased to discover that he wasn't as over sensitive as he thought he was going to be. He let out a pleasured groan and relaxed his head a little. Thor continued deeper, his cock was making its way up into Loki's stomach now and he still wasn't done. Pain spread along Loki's stomach and he wanted more. He begged Thor to go deeper and deeper, to spear him completely.

And Thor did.

He pushed in more and more and more until his cock was working into the back of Loki's throat. The younger god could taste his arousal and his pre-ejaculate and he was choking but he was also moaning and crying and yelling in agonised pleasure.

Thor leaned forward, licking Loki's back.

"Touch yourself" he ordered, before he started to pull back out and thrust into him. Loki ignored him at first, too busy chocking as Thor's cock pushed forward almost into his mouth and moaning loudly as he pulled back, truly impaling him on his length. Thor gave little sharp bites to his back, sending little jolts of pain through him along with the giant cock ramming against his insides. He finally started touching himself; he was hard as a rock, as if he hadn't just come twice before this.

Thor thrust harder and faster, Loki struggling to breathe and the noises coming from his mouth were more splutters, spitting out bits of Thor's taste as he did. He knew Thor was close and he stroked himself harder, working his hips round in circles, trying to get Thor's length to rub against his prostate in the process. Thor started coming way before he could, his cock pulsing copious amounts of fluid into Loki's throat, which he could only let flow out of his mouth, sometimes spitting it so he could try and catch his breath. It ran down his chin and along his neck. Thor didn't stop coming, he stayed pushed up against Loki and started laughing, more and more cum flowing into his mouth as Thor rubbed the head of his cock along Loki's tonsils. Loki couldn't help but join in, laughing deeply between his moans and gagging splutters, he felt so high right now.

"Come Loki." Thor demanded. "Here, let me do it." He leaned back down and took Loki's cock in hand once he let go. Stroking extremely hard, pulling hard against the skin of his cock. Loki moaned loudly, begging him for more.

"Yes...harder Thor...ahh yes...pull it...off...ohh gods...do it...rip my cock off!" And Thor laughed but ignored Loki's pleas. Loki came at some point but he couldn't quite focus on it as he was choking on the ridiculously large amounts of Thor's seed. Thor finally pulled back, his cock still pulsing fluid, into various parts of Loki's body as he did, deep into his stomach, all along his intestine and eventually squirting up against his prostate, though a bit too late, Loki thought. Thor pulled out completely and Loki breathed hard, holding still for a minute, just breathing and waiting. Thor sat back, breathing quite raggedly himself.

Loki finally tried to move again, he was in a pretty vulnerable position with Thor sitting right behind him while the younger god's ass was on display right in front of him. Thor picked up on this and quickly grabbed Loki's hips, making Loki groan in embarrassed disapproval. Thor sat and watched his own seed flooding out of both of Loki's entrances, dribbling down his sex and along his thighs, some dripping off onto the bed.

"Oh, little brother, if you could see this now...I could fuck you again after seeing this."

Loki squirmed but Thor held him in place. Loki suddenly felt a tongue, lapping a little along both entrances for a few seconds, making Loki moan out and wriggle in uncomfortable shame, before Thor finally pulled back, chuckling darkly and releasing the younger gods' hips. Loki stood up and headed straight for the washroom, saying not a word to Thor as he did. He didn't even look at him; he knew his face was red. He heard Thor's low chuckle as he closed the door.

Thor followed, it's not like the door could be locked anyway. He took over, running Loki's bath, adding various oils and herbs he knew Loki liked and helped him in. Loki's limbs still felt like jelly so he let him, relaxing when he sat back in the water. Thor kneeled at the side of the bath, getting a soft sponge and gently washing along Loki's chest, up to his neck. Loki tried to push him off a bit, he could do it himself but Thor just hushed him, continuing to clean him.

He wiped over Loki's face, still shushing him, whispering little things to him about how beautiful Loki is, how gorgeous he looked swelled with Thor's child. Loki felt a little weird, after how Thor had been fucking into him, exposing him just minutes ago; it seemed a bit out of place with how nice he was being now.

He washed down all over Loki's body, over his stomach, thoroughly around his sex, pushing his fingers in and out of both entrances a few times, 'just getting him nice and clean.' He was smiling as Loki's face flushed with embarrassment at that, moving down over his legs, and coming back up to wash his arms and hands. Loki was too tired to move and he doubted Thor would have a problem with holding him down if he tried to get away.

"You were so beautiful tonight, lying out in front of me, legs spread, waiting for me to bring you pleasure." Loki blushed again a little at Thor's words but if he tried to speak Thor hushed him, smiling, everything so gently. Is this what he did to everyone he slept with! Fuck them hard and rough, use them, humiliate them and then look after them? Was this still part of the fantasy for Thor? He already thought Thor had gone easy tonight. There was no way Thor had been as truly rough as he would have liked, Loki could tell. The scary part was that Loki had kind of wanted it rougher at times, often regretting that thought when he finally got it, but still, as Thor fucked him, bit him, used him, it turned Loki on in a way he never thought it would. He would never let Thor know this.

Thor tilted Loki's head back and gently washed his hair. "I knew you would like it, you just had to let go, so pretty when you come. I should get a mirror one day so you can see how sexy you look when I'm impaling you on my cock." Loki held back a shudder at his words. People had talked to him like this before, groping at him in corridors telling him about the things they would like to do to him, mostly after they had heard about his dual sex. Loki had never found that kind of thing attractive, he had been much more into the idea of less speaking during sex, just breathing and moaning as a means of communication, maybe a few words of encouragement or asking for more, that kind of thing was sexy. But there was something in Thor's words, something about the gentle touches he used while talking to him in such a way that just struck a nerve, right deep in his core.

Thor had noticed his breathing change slightly as he held back the shudder, he smiled knowingly at Loki.

"Would you like that? You would wouldn't you, you act like you don't like it, but you wanted me to ram myself into you, wanted it rough, forced. Next time, I'll hold you down and fuck you until you can't even talk, you'll just have to lay and wait until I'm finished with you." Loki couldn't hold back the shudder this time. Thor put his hand up and stroked his face. "I knew you loved it, you tried to deny but I knew, the way you writhed and moaned, you couldn't help but love it." Thor's hand dragged down Loki's chest, nails catching on a nipple making Loki hiss, not stopping until he reached the younger gods cock again, and going past it and back to his quim. Loki tried to trap his hand by closing his legs but Thor forced his way forward, fingers breaching him once again.

"No Thor, please no, not again, that's enough now...Thor!"

"Loki!"

Loki's eyes snapped open. Quickly looking around him. He was on Thor's bed, the older god standing, looking down at him from next to it. Loki groaned, already knowing where this was going.

"You okay?"

"M'fine Thor." Loki slurred as he rolled to the side, ready to get out of bed, his face screwing up in disgust as he felt his own seed run sideways along to his hip from just under his round, bulging stomach. Damn, that one had been vivid and long and what the actual fuck? Usually they were only as long as the sex, which often turned into rape but that's when the dream became a nightmare, he never usually just accepted it and even enjoyed it to an extent and it had never warped quite as strong before. Sure, they sometimes got a bit weird, as dreams do, which all seems perfectly normal at the time, then you wake up and can't help but wonder how your mind could even justify that as normal. That was the strangest dream he ever had, and he did not want that again. He was going to go back to the healer, get some of that herbal drink she mentioned, he couldn't keep that up, it was fucking with his mind.

"You have another one of them dreams?"

"No." Loki lied pointlessly, since Thor's question was just as pointless. He knew it was obvious he had been dreaming again.

"Well, the noises you were making beg to differ." Loki ignored him, continuing to struggle his way out of the bed, feeling his face flush deeply, even after the number of times that he had been in this situation.

"Just drop it; what does it have to do with you anyway?" Loki didn't actually want an answer, so why he bothered asking a question he had no clue. He stood up and started making his way to the washroom. He could hear Thor move round the bed to follow him. Great.

"Apart from the fact that it's waking me up, you're moaning and shouting, when it's my name that is at the end of those noises, I think it has quite a lot to do with me, wouldn't you agree?" Loki's eyes went wide, though he didn't stop moving. Entering the room he started preparing a bath. He knew he had been yelling and moaning, he didn't know he had actually formed words though. Dammit, out of everything he said in his dreams, why did Thor's name have to be the one thing he actually said out loud?

"A dream's a dream Thor, it isn't real."

"No but the orgasms are, aren't they?" Loki froze before quickly twisting round to face Thor. The older god looked far from amused.

"Not another word! What difference does it make anyway? It's not like I'm doing this on purpose. You think I want this? No Thor...I don't and the sooner this damn creature is born, the sooner, I can get a decent night's sleep! Now leave me alone!"

Thor's face had dropped completely, eyes wide, looking directly at Loki, who just looked back rather desperately.

"What?" Loki asked, exasperated.

"Creature?" Loki frowned for a split second in confusion before his face went blank and he rolled his eyes. He hadn't intended to say that out loud. At least he hadn't called it a parasite.

"Is that all you think of your unborn child?" Loki just turned back around, continuing to make his bath.

"You are going to have to look after this child Loki, it...no she...is your baby, your blood, surely you cannot think so little of her..."

"Oh...nooo" Loki interrupted, turning back to Thor. "How could I possibly not love a child, when it was so lovingly forced within my womb? How can I not be squealing with the sheer excitement of the joy and happiness that this child will bring, right? What an awful person I must be to be able to hate such a wonderful gift!"

Thor stepped back slightly, shaking his head as Loki stepped forward.

"No, you don't mean that...you don't hate her, you couldn't." Loki dared to laugh a little.

"Couldn't I...couldn't I? She is why I am still here is she not? The little half-breed offspring that everyone feels too guilty to just kill but no one could possibly ever love once it is born. Tell me, does that sound like a nice way to bring up a child? Does having it grow up being hated and feared sound better than a quick, unknowing death?" He spat, harshly. He did somewhat feel this way but he was adding an extra venom to his words, just to get at Thor.

"Loki..."

"No...Thor. Just, no." He turned back to his bath, refusing to face Thor again, no matter how many times he repeated his name. Eventually Thor just walked out, which Loki was happy for. Thor was only being patient with him because he was with child, Loki didn't doubt for a second that Thor would otherwise be happy to spin him round and shake him up a little.

...

Loki did go to the healers, thankfully without Thor, and the guards he didn't really care about. She smiled politely, and he decided that he liked her. She talked to him like he was a real person who had actual feelings but she didn't seem to pity him, or hate him, there was a calming sense of neutral energy that flowed from her. He knew it's because her duty first and foremost was to the child, not him but it made him feel better all the same.

She gave him the drinks and they weren't the nicest thing he could ingest but they were tolerable. After this the dreams toned down gradually over the next couple of weeks. Nothing that strange happened again and the sex dreams became just about him, the guy fucking him was no longer Thor, it wasn't really anyone, just a random stranger and he wasn't raped, it was the typical sex type dream he would have had in his youth, which he could deal with. He also wasn't pregnant in his dreams, which was a nice feeling. He would rather the dreams stopped completely but the healer mentioned that they probably wouldn't until after he had given birth. The sooner this thing was born, definitely the better!


	10. Chapter 10

Okay…warnings!

In this chapter lies graphic childbirth, it gets pretty gory about 2-4 paragraphs before the end so if you wish to skip that, just comment asking what happened and I will give you the 12A version :D

Otherwise…Provehito in Altum!

…

"Loki, please...you need to come out of there, we can't help you like this."

Loki had been wrong, he wasn't ready, not yet, it was too soon!

"Loki...the healers are here, they can help you, but you have to let them."

"GO AWAY!" He yelled through the washroom door. "LEAVE ME!"

Loki had shut himself in the washroom about two hours prior to this. Thor hadn't realised straight away, until he tried to get in and realised that Loki had somehow sealed the door with magic. Very early that morning, Loki had felt the first twinges of his contractions but he had refused to admit to what was happening, covering up the pains that spread from his back as he tried to go about his day normally, especially with Thor around, he didn't want him to start getting suspicious.

After a few hours the pains had started getting closer together and Loki knew what was happening, finding it much harder to hide them. He could keep quiet by breathing deeply but he had to stop once they reached peak, and just subtly lean on something until it eased off. Needless to say, it hadn't taken Thor long to notice from there.

"Loki?" He had asked, sounding a little concerned. "What's up?" Loki had been gripping onto the back of a chair, looking down to hide his slightly scrunched up face, his other hand, low on his tightening stomach. He relaxed once it stopped.

"Nothing, just feeling a little dizzy is all." Thor sat back again.

"You should sit down; you have been pacing for ages, surely that's not helping." Truth be told it was, but not because he was dizzy. Thor said no more about it though, at least, not until Loki accidentally let out a small groan of surprise at how suddenly this contraction had hit. This time Thor stood up to go stand by him.

"Loki...what is it?"

"I'm fine Thor." Loki ground out, wincing as the pain got worse before settling again.

"Don't lie to me Loki; you're clearly not just dizzy." Loki didn't say anything, just continued to pace around the room again. Thor watched him.

"That was a contraction wasn't it?" Thor said plainly, Loki didn't look at him.

"Pregnant people can get stomach aches without it meaning anything Thor. In case you have forgotten, it's a little too early for that. Hasn't even been eight months yet."

"No, I don't like this. I'm going to get a healer."

"No Thor, that's not necessary, I'm not having contractions...Thor!" It didn't work, Thor left anyway and Loki was left alone.

A couple of minutes after Thor had left Loki was hit with another contraction. Loki felt a sudden sense of fear. This couldn't be happening, he wasn't ready. He had said so many times about how he couldn't wait for it to just be over but he was wrong, he had lied to himself. He wasn't ready for this; he couldn't let this thing rip him apart. He had to make it stop.

Once he could move again, he ran into the washroom as fast as a heavily pregnant person could and slammed the door, sealing it with his magic since he still could, Odin obviously hadn't thought that he would need to take that away. He sat down against the door and pulled his legs up, begging his body to stop.

He panicked when he heard Thor come back, calling his name, followed by a bang as Thor tried to open the door, calling his name more.

"Loki what are you doing in there? Let me in, I think the doors stuck."

Then Loki heard the healers, as well as Thor, calling his name, trying to make him come out. He got lost in another contraction and couldn't help the low forced wine that came out of his mouth. Thor quietened and Loki knew he was listening to him.

"Loki? Loki what's happening? Are you okay?" He smacked on the door again.

"I think we're going to have to break the door down." Loki's eyes widened. No!

"Go away, Thor. Leave me alone!" He heard Thor stop.

"Loki, what are you talking about? You are in labour, you need to come out."

"No, I'm not...I'm...not...I'm...fine! Please...go away!"

"Loki." Thor's voice sounded gentler now. "You can't change if your body is ready, you need to give in and let it happen but you don't have to do it alone." Loki didn't respond. He closed his eyes and tried his best to tune out Thor's calls.

...

"GO AWAY!" He yelled through the washroom door. "LEAVE ME!"

"Out of my way, out of my way..." Loki heard slightly muffled through the door.

"Mother..." He heard Thor say.

"What's happening?"

"He shut himself in the washroom; I can't get him to come out. By the sounds he's making, he's having contractions." Ironically, just as he said that, another contraction started from deep in Loki's back and Loki did his best to keep quiet but they were getting pretty strong now. When it did ease, he noticed that there was quiet on the other side, he knew they had listened.

"How far apart are they?" He heard his mother ask quietly.

"I'm not sure, not far I don't think."

Then Loki heard nothing for a moment before Frigga spoke up again.

"Okay, everyone out." The authority in her voice was unmatchable.

"Mother..." Thor started but she soon interrupted.

"I wish to speak to him alone; the healers are no use to him if he is stuck in there. Now out. Everyone!"

Loki could hear the shuffling, and knew that they were retreating from the rooms. He listened intently for the sound of his mother's voice again.

He felt light electricity against his back where it was leaning against the door and knew that his mother was checking for his own magic. He placed his hand against the door, sending his own back through to her. It made tears well up in his eyes and he was powerless to stop them.

"Loki." His mother said quietly. "You don't have to come out if you don't want to, but could you let me in? It's much easier to talk face to face." He said nothing for a moment before he sighed and released the magic seal on the door. His mother could have done it herself but she was respecting his privacy and Loki was thankful for that.

He started to inch himself away from the door so she could come in but was hit with another, rather powerful contraction, the pressure spreading from his back, round his pelvis and his lower stomach tightening uncomfortably. He could only grip his stomach and groan his way through it, rocking back and forth subconsciously, trying to ease the pain.

Frigga had just about managed to squeeze through the small amount of door space he had given her, as his contraction eased. Tears spilled down his cheeks now and he looked up to her.

"I'm scared..." He choked out. "Mother...I'm so scared." She rushed to his side, taking him into her arms, hugging him and kissing his head.

"I know, Loki. I need you to be strong for me now though, okay? You have survived so much; I know you can do this too." Loki couldn't hold back the sobs as he pressed his face against her shoulders she moved a bit so that she was sitting next to him, one arm around his back, the other entwined in his hands. She let him sit and cry for a bit, let him squeeze her hand and helped him breathe as the next contraction hit, talking him through it gently. He seemed to calm down a little after that.

"How long have you been in labour?" She asked. Loki sniffed a bit before replying.

"I'm not sure, since this morning maybe." He looked up, face flushed with guilt. His mother tilted her head.

"Oh Loki, you didn't need to go through all this on your own." He shook his head slowly.

"It's not that..." Tears started spilling again. "I don't want this, mother; I don't want to do this." He didn't want this creature ripping its way through him into life. "I'm not ready."

"I don't think any new mother ever feels truly ready. It's just something we must get through."

"Most mothers want their child, they care about if it lives or dies." He didn't want to hurt his mother with the hateful words but it's all he could feel right now. His mother said nothing but he knew how she would feel about this. It didn't change anything for him though.

He felt a strong pressure really low in his stomach, making him wince before he felt it suddenly release at once, followed by a sensation that felt a little bit like he was pissing himself copiously, except not from the right place. He cried out in surprise as the fluid gushed out to pool around his legs and backside. He breathed in sharply as his stomach went tight again, letting out a hard frustrated groan, trying to get himself through it. Frigga squeezed his hand and rubbed his back as he did, whispering things he couldn't hear. He slumped a little against Frigga, shivering and breathing hard, trying not to break down again.

"It's okay." Frigga said calmly. "Your water broke, that is all, its normal."

"I ca...I can't do it...please...make it stop...I don't want it..." Frigga hushed him gently, stroking his hair.

"Right now, Loki, you don't have a choice, alright? I know it's hard and trust me, it's not going to get any easier as the night comes but you need to stop thinking you can't do it. It will get you nowhere. Now you can do it. You can do it because you have to do it." Loki looked at his mother for a moment before he dropped his head down, closing his eyes. He was already sweating. Frigga stood up and fetched him a cup with cold water, making him drink it all before fetching another.

She sat with him, held him, made him breathe with her when his contractions hit. They were becoming increasingly frequent now, no longer hanging around. He found himself getting more panicky as he thought about it and when the next contraction came, merely seconds after the last one, he knew it wasn't going to be long. The pressure was starting to move downwards now, noticeably. He could feel it pushing up against his prostate now, not enough to really affect him yet and he hoped it wouldn't.

Frigga stood up just as his latest contraction eased up.

"Right, I know you want to stay here, but we really need to move, this is no place to give birth." She leaned down to help Loki up; he looked at her pleadingly but didn't fight her. Carefully and slowly they made their way back into Thor's room. She helped him out of his trousers, much to Loki's displeasure and helped sit him down on the bed. She fetched a lot of towels and sheets to place under his pelvis.

"We will change any sheets that need to be, afterwards, for now this is just fine. I have had these towels cleaned and ready for a couple of weeks. Good timing if I do say so myself." He smiled at her, appreciating her attempt to lighten the mood a little. She soon got serious again.

"I'm going to fetch the healers now, okay? They, at the very least, need to be present." She paused. "What about Thor, would you prefer he stayed out or in here? Baring in mind that he might be a useful hand so squeeze soon, as I'm not sure mine will be quite as perceptive." She smiled at him gently. He hesitated, thinking to himself before he sighed, waving his hand nonchalantly. "He can come in, not much point leaving him out there is there?" She nodded at him before going to fetch Thor and the healers.

Loki was breathing his way through a contraction as they returned. Frigga signalled for them to be quiet, so as not to interrupt him. He breathed hard, relaxing back a bit, seeing that they had now come back in. He didn't return the smile that Thor sent him and the healers were already flapping around him, preparing everything for him to bring the thing forth.

"Now, Thor, you go and sit by Loki's side, or stand, whichever is fine, if he needs to hold your hand, you let him" Frigga was getting a little flustered with her own flapping around, making sure Loki had plenty of water and cold damp cloths for his head. He took her wrist when he was finally able to get her to stop for long enough.

"Mother please, keep still, there is nothing else you could possibly fetch for me, sit down..." He cut off with a sharp cry, instantly pulling his legs up towards his chest and grabbing at the sheets he sat on hard. The contractions were powerful now, the next one hitting hard on the heels of that. The healers placed one of the sheets over Loki's legs before lifting it up, gently spreading his legs. Loki jumped when he felt one of their cold hands at his entrance, fingers pushing in uncomfortably before pulling back out.

"His pelvis is ready." The younger of the healers said. She was the one who had helped him throughout the majority of his pregnancy, his monthly checks and everything in between. "You can push when you're ready." Loki felt his body fill with dread as the pressure of the next contraction came, his whole body seeming to join in, working to help him push. He held back as best he could.

"Loki." Frigga took his hand. "When the contraction starts, you have to push, your body will want to push, don't fight it, help it...now...push!"

Loki could feel the need to push, the pressure so intense but he squeezed his eyes shut and fought it as hard as he could, shouting out with the effort.

"No...I can't...I won't do it...it's trying to rip me apart!"

"It's not going to rip you apart Loki, not if you do as the healers tell you, they will make sure of it. You can't stop it Loki, the baby is coming, you have to push!"

He felt a big hand cover his, making him jerk his head to see Thor gripping his hand. He threw the older god a dirty look, intending to pull his hand away, changing his mind and gripping it with all his worth as the most intense need his body had ever experienced hit him. His own body ignored his attempts to hold back and he automatically gave a hard shove, the feeling so right, he let out a long hard shout as he did, not stopping until the contraction eased.

His mother wiped at his forehead as he relaxed for a moment before the need came back and he was yelling and pushing with everything he had. This time he felt a shift, deep inside his lower stomach, moving slightly forwards. As satisfying as it is, he also feels the pressure on his prostate increase, the feeling reminding him slightly off when Thor had used his fingers to pleasure him, even a little bit like when he had fucked him, but there was a lot of pain involved in this too. His face flushed, unnoticeably since it was already red from pushing, as he felt himself starting to harden at the sensation. Luckily the sheet covered him enough that his mother and Thor were clueless, but he knew the healers could see.

When he pushed again, he could feel the abuse to his prostate behind the pain, pushing just made it stronger and he could feel how it made him fully hard. He cried out, trying to ignore it but every time he pushed he could feel it building more. His grip on Thor's hand hadn't ceased since he started pushing, not that he was going to do that much damage, though he had seen Thor wince at one point. Loki couldn't care less.

"Loki" the young healer addressed him and really, what was the other old lady even there for? "You need to just let go, it's normal, it will help ease the pain a little and relax you more which will help make pushing a little easier, alright?" She looked at him, clearly trying to say what she was referring to through her eyes so as not to embarrass him. Thor looked between them, completely confused and Frigga just squeezed Loki's other hand, smiling reassuringly at him. He realised, she knew what was going on, and that knowledge did nothing to make him feel better. "It's fine, you're alright." She said to him.

Feeling the pressure build again he leaned forward, pushing hard. He felt the pressure move forwards, almost hitting right onto his prostate and he pushed again within the same contraction, feeling it shift right over the sensitive bundle of nerves, the feeling becoming too much. He yelled out in a mixture of immense, confused pain and pleasure as he came, the next contraction starting before the last one had even finished, making him push harder again, once he had regained his bearings a little. He slumped back, face flushed deeply, breathing raggedly, as to be expected. He could feel that the pain had let up a little, the pressure not feeling quite as tight now, he sighed in relief. The healer quickly wiped the seed from his stomach with one of the towels.

His contractions seemed to halt for a moment, enough for him to get a drink and adjust his position slightly. Thor seemed to pick up on what had happened, judging by his slight blush but he said nothing, just left his hand in place for Loki to grab again he so wished. Loki only had a few seconds of rest before the next contraction hit, even stronger than the others had been. He was exhausted but his body gave him no choice but to push along with it. His yells became more like loud grunts as his voice became worn.

"Alright, I can see the head, Loki you are doing great, you need to keep going, not too far now." Loki wasn't sure which part of any of this was supposed to make him feel better but he gave another hard shove like she said, not managing to keep it up for as long now though.

"Stop...I can't...I just need to...stop...a minute...please..."

"No Loki." The healer said. "You can't stop yet, come on, push!"

Frigga wiped his head, also telling him to push, as did Thor, all telling him how great he was doing, but he didn't feel any better at their words. He tried to push again when he needed to but he fell back soon after, body going limp, not much able to do anything.

"Thor." Frigga suddenly addressed her oldest son. "Get on the bed, sit behind him and help him push...come on!" Thor quickly scrambled up while Frigga pushed Loki forward so Thor could sit behind him, legs either side of Loki's body. Frigga lay Loki back down against Thor; he was too tired to protest, but the new, position made things feel a little more stable. Frigga moved around them, guiding them into the right position.

"Now...Thor, bring your arms under Loki's armpits and pull your hands up towards your shoulders, yes like that, keep him pulled against you. Excellent! Now Loki...bring your arms forward, so they are still round Thor's and grab hold of your knees. Perfect. It should feel much easier to push against something now." Loki thought that the position was a bit uncomfortable but as his contraction built he pulled on his knees hard, bearing down hard, his chest helping to push on his stomach, feeling the thing shift down a little quicker this time.

He was sweating terribly, breathing ragged in between the forced yells as he pushed. Just wanting it to be over he pushed harder and harder still as he felt the lump reaching his entrance, immediately stopping as he felt a sudden, strong burning sensation. He let go of his legs, wincing harshly.

"Ahh...ahhhh...fuck...ahhhhh!..What's happening?" It was getting sharper; he needed it to stop now.

The healer looked up at him briefly, before returning her attention to the head of the baby. "The head is crowning, you must stop pushing now or you will tear, I mean it, do not push!" He knew it! That monster was trying to rip him apart. He fucking knew it! He felt a strong anger rise up his entire body, such hatred for what this thing was doing to him. He started writhing within Thor's grip, face contorting with anger.

"I WANT IT OUT, I WANT IT OUT NOW!" He screamed before baring down as hard as he possibly could, ignoring his mothers shout of "Loki NO!", followed by Thor's as he pushed, yelling even louder when he felt a strong sharp agonising pain as he made himself rip open a couple of seconds later, blood spraying up the young healers shirt, making her call out in surprise.

Everything after that was just agony, he could feel the blood running out of him and down onto the bed. He pushed again, without the contraction, desperately needing to get this thing out of him. Thor was doing his best to hold him in place but Loki's body had tensed so violently and he seemed to be struggling with himself, even he was struggling to keep a good hold on him. Frigga had started crying at the sight before her, seeing Loki in this state, losing it as he was, in so much pain. She tried hard to hold it together, standing by him and talking to him but Loki was gone, he was listening to nothing, and he was barely even aware of anything except pain and pushing.

His next contraction had him push so hard, he felt the head come out, not stopping for another second as he gave another forceful shove and the shoulders slipped free along with the rest of the body with a loud squelching sound, followed by a lot of fluid and blood. He briefly saw a flash of blue skin, with shallow indented markings, currently filled with dark red blood before it was wrapped and out of his sight.

"My gosh...she's so cold!" Was all he heard before he fell straight back, his whole body aching, what was left of his entrance, searing. He leaned over and threw up violently before everything went black.


	11. Chapter 11

Okay, few things to note.

1. I don't know a single thing about breasts or breast feeding so you will get my best guess, feel free to correct all hideous mistakes.

2. A couple of translations.  
Hlér - terror  
Sóttarfar - Sickness  
Illr – evil

…

When he came round, it took him a good few minutes to realise what was going on. The room was very bright, daylight streaming through the windows, since the drapes had been pulled back as far as they could. There was movement in the room but he was in no state to make any attempt to see what it was.

He lay and blinked for a while, not moving or making any noise until he heard a voice.

"Oh...Loki, dear. You're awake!" Frigga came over to him, stroking his hair back lightly, smiling down at him. Loki looked around, as well as trying to sit up. Frigga held onto his shoulders, making him slow down a bit.

"Careful...careful. I did my best I could to heal you but you are still in the process of healing anyway and you will still feel very rough, try to keep your movements slow and easy." He felt his head spin and hunched over, Frigga quickly realised what was happening and grabbing a nearby bowl which he just about caught in time to empty the small amount that was in his stomach into. She rubbed his back gently and handed him some water when he had finished, telling him to sip it slowly.

"How long was I out?" He asked, voice rough. He sipped at more water.

"It's only been a few hours, you gave birth just before midnight and it's now rather early in the morning." Frigga had moved across the room and was messing with something he didn't even try to see, still feeling a little out of it.

"What...what exactly...happened?" Frigga returned, carrying a small bunch of towels.

"You passed out just after the birth. It must have been unimaginably painful Loki, not your brightest idea to push like that but you got her out pretty quickly after that and then you were out. You did wake up briefly to deliver the afterbirth but you were so out of it I'm not even sure you were really awake. Then you started saying things that no one could understand before passing out again." She smiled a little. "I think you scared Thor judging by the horrified look on his face and the healer too. She's quite new here; you were one of her first patients." She chuckled a little, Loki's face scrunched up distastefully; maybe he was better off not quite remembering.

He had given birth.

He was a mother.

He was aware of this; of course, it just hadn't quite hit him until now. He quickly remembered the flash of blue skin and markings. Had that even been real, or some sick hallucination, dream? He had no clue.

"Loki...Loki..."

He realised that Frigga was talking to him again, he had zoned out. He settled his eyes on her, showing that he was listening.

"Would you like to meet her?"

"Meet who?"

"Your daughter." Frigga laughed lightly. Loki just frowned at her a little, not quite understanding the question. After a few seconds though, Frigga walked up closer to him, pushing the pile of towels towards Loki. He soon realised that it wasn't just a pile of towels; it was the thing, wrapped in them. He turned his head away, not looking at it.

"No...I...I don't wish to see it."

"Not it, Loki...she. Your daughter...look at her." She said, so quietly it was almost a whisper. He heard a small gurgling sound, but he refused to look back. He felt as Frigga leaned down, placing the tiny bundle in his arms, smothered in all the towels. He didn't move for a few seconds, contemplating asking her to take it away. He knew she would be disappointed in him but he couldn't do this, he wouldn't. Frigga made no move to take it back though and after a short while, he looked around, avoiding the thing in his arms and looked up at Frigga, who was watching him calmly, gently but expectantly. He breathed in deep and slowly glanced down, almost too scared to look but he did. He was greeted by pale blue skin, dark hair and bright blue eyes, only slightly tinted red, not like the bright red eyes he knew the Jotnar to have, including himself.

She was a Jotun...or at least half Jotun.

He just looked at her for a few minutes, not changing position, not moving her, nor saying anything, he just looked at her, expression blank. Frigga stood with him patiently, allowing him to get used to the idea that this little thing, was his. His thing.

His slight trance was broken when he heard a soft wail come from her mouth. He pulled a slight face and turned to Frigga, lifting his arms slightly to return it to his mother.

"I think she might be getting hungry." She suggested and Loki knew where she was going with this. Oh no.

"I don't even have milk." He wasn't lying, his breasts were most definitely not full of milk, they were a little swollen sure, but still looked flat and masculine. Not to mention that he didn't want this thing chewing on his breast after what it had done to his body.

"No, and you won't for a couple of days, I would imagine, but you'll know when it comes in, trust me. For now you will make something different, similar to milk but slightly thicker, you will need much less of it, hence why you are not swollen like you would be with milk. It is full of all the nutrition she could possibly need and will be fine with it until the milk does come in." She smiled at him, walking round to stand behind him.

She carefully pulled down the one side of the robe he was wearing to reveal a rather pert nipple. Loki just looked down and watched as she placed her hand over his hand, currently supporting the thing and pulling it towards him, using her other hand to gently tilt its head and guide its mouth to his nipple.

"This bit can be a little tricky for a while, but she will get the hang of it in time." He waited, feeling its mouth covering his nipple but not doing anything, just pressed against it.

"It's not very small, I was expecting...since I went into labour early and all that, I thought it would be smaller."

"The healer said, based on her size and development, she is full term, so, she was ready to be born. We don't know much about breeding when it comes to a Jotun mother so it could be something to do with that but she's perfectly healthy." Frigga smiled brightly at him, he could tell she had already grown attached to it. Loki refused the urge to roll his eyes. After a few minutes of feeling its mouth rubbing against his nipple he'd had enough.

"Okay...mother...can we do this after..." He breathed in as he suddenly felt the thing latch on to his breast, suckling at him gently but hungrily. He looked back down, his expression turning uncomfortable as he watched it, turning to horrified as the skin of his breast, around where she came into contact with him started to turn blue, spreading along his chest a little bit.

"What...what's it doing?"

Frigga stroked his hair to calm him. "It's okay; she's not doing any harm. Her touch seems to be breaking through your glamour." He wanted to push it away from him, give it back to Frigga, tell her to find some other way to feed the damn thing, he's done his bit. He didn't though, he knew she wouldn't approve. He sat and waited for the thing to stop drinking.

"You have to be careful that she doesn't try to trick you into thinking she's drinking so she can use you as a pacifier. So many babies will do this." She chuckled lightly. He looked up to her but felt his head spin suddenly; he quickly passed the thing up to Frigga before he passed out again.

...

He slept a lot over the next couple of weeks, only really waking to drink something or feed the thing. He was slowly managing to stay awake for longer now. No one except Frigga, and occasionally the young healer had seen him since the birth. His mother said that he would have to present the child to Odin eventually but that he needn't worry about that just yet. He found after a couple of days, he woke up feeling a tight pressure in his chest, sitting up he felt a strong ache, making him breath out in discomfort. Pulling his covers back he could see how his chest had swelled more, definitely not drooping like a woman's breasts but still swollen and sore. They felt full.

His mother had noticed his discomfort as soon as he had entered, realising quickly what was happening and instantly brought the thing to him. He tried to push it away, they were so sore and tender but his mother hushed him, promising him that this would help. As soon as the thing latched on and started suckling down his milk he felt the pressure easing, allowing him to relax back a little, and breathing a sigh of relief.

As it turned out, the things Jotun inheritance meant that it was very cold, not as cold as a typical Jotun but cold enough that no one except Loki could touch its skin for long before it started to burn. This also meant that any skin of Loki's that it came into contact with would instantly start reverting back to his Jotun skin, not completely but it made Loki feel horribly uncomfortable when feeding. Then he had to start bathing it too. The healers had done the best they could to do that but since they could not touch it properly, it became difficult.

Loki knew that Frigga could tell he was struggling with dealing with the thing. Apart from the fact that he refused to refer to it as a child or her or anything that would suggest that he was even remotely comfortable around it, he would only come in contact with it to feed and clean it. Once he was done he would wrap it up in the blankets and give it back to his mother since she could only hold the thing when it was swaddled in a lot of materials, which meant she couldn't hold it for long incase of it overheating.

Some days, usually when he was in a better mood and not feeling too rough, he was a bit easier with the thing, not so quick to just clean and feed it, he might stand and just look at the little bundle in his arms. It had a couple of features like Thor, but mostly just looked like he did, according to his mother anyway.

"Have you thought about what you might name her?" Frigga asked him on one of the days that he seemed to be a little more tolerant of it. It was these days that Frigga would talk to him about it more, make him hold the thing for just a bit longer. He was holding it now, sitting in one of the chairs of Thor's rooms as it suckled away at his breast, he hadn't left the room since the birth but he was feeling much better. He didn't know where Thor had been staying, since he hadn't returned to his own rooms, not even for sleep. He didn't really care though; he knew that his mother had shown the thing to Thor, visited him with it a few times. Thor had asked to come visit Loki but Loki had said no; he wasn't in any mood to see Thor just yet. The birth had brought a few of his resentments running straight back and he wasn't quite sure he could handle seeing the older god without launching forward to attack him.

"Can't Thor choose? He's the father after all." He said coldly.

"Yes, but I think that this is something that you need to do. It might help you to bond with her a little bit."

I don't want to bond with it, I want to die, he thought bitterly, looking at his mother, hoping his expression would at least get some of this across. If it did she completely ignored it, he knew his mother, she took no nonsense from anyone and she wasn't going to go easy on him for much longer.

"I wouldn't even know what to choose."

"Look at her. Think about something that is unique to her and start with that." Loki looked down at the little creature, currently gurgling his milk around its mouth lightly. He scrunched his face up.

"Hlér? Sóttarfar? Illr?" Loki offered, trying to sound genuinely contemplative about these names.

Frigga tutted. "That's not even funny, Loki. Really look at..."

"Do we have to do this right now?" He shifted about uncomfortably, feeling himself getting frustrated. It made him want to push the little thing away, like he just couldn't handle being in contact with it.

"Loki, she is over two weeks old, she needs a name. I'm not telling you to choose right now, I asked if you had thought about it. You need to think about it." Her voice was even but Loki could sense the stern edge threatening to make its way to the surface. He decided not to test it.

He looked down at this tiny, squishy thing in his arms, chewing (well as best as one can chew without any teeth of course) at his breast. One of its hands pressed onto his chest near its mouth. What was unique about it? Apart from being half Jotun, it just looked like an ordinary baby.

"What about Kalda or Kaldr?" He questioned. It's a simple enough name and quite suitable really.

His mother turned to him. "Really?" He nodded to her as she walked over, looking down at the thing and smiling lightly. "Hello Kalda." She tested the name a few times. "Kalda, you know, I quite like it."

...

Frigga had sent away the healers the same day that he had finally named Kalda. She wanted him to deal with her as much as she could make him now. He found himself talking to it sometimes, usually pleading with it to not mess around while nursing or not cry while he was bathing it, but sometimes he would just talk to it as it fell asleep or to hush it when it cried. He tried to stop thinking of her as 'it' and 'thing' but as her and she, and by her name of course. This wasn't as easy but he was trying, if only to please his mother.

He knew he was going to be seeing a lot of...her for the next six years, obviously since it was his offspring. His mother had scolded him a few times but he knew, himself that he would have to find a way to at least be subtle with her, the thing would pick up on his discomfort easily enough.

One thing he couldn't deny was how perceptive she was, she quickly learned her name, as well as Loki's voice, her eyes moving towards the source of sound. Frigga had told him repeatedly about how well she fed and how quickly she seemed to pick things up. People's emotions, especially Loki's, she would soon pick up on and adapted to his mood.

Loki was feeling a little better on one evening. Kalda been feeding just fine all day, and drinking a lot too, really easing the pressure on his chest. He knew she would be due another feed soon but for now he felt quite relaxed and she was not making any fuss, just happy to lie in his arms calmly. The mood soon dropped as Thor walked in.

"Kalda? Is that your idea of a joke?"

Loki didn't move from his seat, Kalda stirred a little at the raised voice but didn't get upset and soon settled back into Loki's arms. The younger god just looked at Thor, clearly not happy to see him.

"Is there a problem with the name?" Thor just stared incredulously back.

"You cannot name our daughter based on her temperature, Loki!"

Loki just smirked. "It suits her, don't you think?"

"This is not a game Loki; she is a person, our daughter, not a means of pissing me off."

"You think I named her, purely with the intention to get at you?"

"It wouldn't surprise me seeing as you hate her so openly."

"I never said I hated her." Loki spat back, though he couldn't deny having almost thought it quite a few times. He never had actually said it though. He wasn't overly keen on it maybe but not hate, which was too strong.

"Change the name Loki."

"No."

Thor stared at Loki furiously for a few seconds before he huffed, turning away and moving to stand by the balcony, of which both doors were wide open. After a few minutes he spoke again.

"Is it really a good idea to have these doors open so wide, there's quite a draft."?

"What, Thor? Concerned she's going to get cold?" He bit back but the mocking smirk could be heard clearly in Loki's voice.

"That's not what I..." He trailed off, seeming to decide against his answer. He paused again before speaking.

"Father wishes to meet her."

"Does he now?" Came Loki's flat reply.

"Of course he does, she is his granddaughter after all."

"She's also half Jotun." Loki spat back bitterly.

"That didn't stop him from raising you..."

"Oh yes, but not before he'd hidden me behind a glamour."

"You know he did that, only to protect you Loki."

"He did it to use me, Thor. Don't be so naive."

"I will not argue this with you again, Loki. Father wants to meet her. You knew he would, as did I."

Loki didn't respond. He felt Kalda squirm in his arms and start whining more than crying. He stood up and walked her over to the balcony, letting the cool air wash over her skin. She cooed lightly and calmed down.

Thor watched as he hushed her. "How could you tell she was hot?"

"I don't know. I could just, sort of...feel it. The way she moved, she cries differently for different reasons." He could tell she was getting hungry to but didn't particularly want to breast feed in front of Thor. He didn't need Thor seeing how his skin changed.

"Could I hold her?" Thor asked slowly, after a while. Loki passed her over to him, after wrapping her back up in the blankets so he could touch her for longer.

"She's beautiful." Thor said fondly.

"Don't let her get too hot again though." Loki warned. Thor smiled at him knowingly.

"She's growing on you, admit It."

"I'm pretty sure she grew in me actually." Thor's smirk grew, since Loki didn't deny it. Loki looked at him, not smiling but his face had a softer edge. He sighed a little, looking out over the view.

"It's not really like I have much choice. I'm stuck with her for the next six years; I have to find some way to deal with it." Loki kept his voice cold but Thor knew there was starting to become a little more to him than just coping. Thor was happy with this though, happy to hope that maybe one day, Loki could actually feel something for his daughter.

"Not just for the next six years, if I can just get through to our father..."

"He's not my father, he yours and don't even bother. I have accepted my inevitable death Thor, it's about time you did. Where did preventing it get you, really?"

"You're still here, to me that's pretty successful, and hopefully I can make it a permanent situation." Loki didn't respond. Thor wasn't going to be reasoned with here. He wouldn't just give up on something he had risked so much for.

They both stood while Thor held Kalda for a bit but it wasn't too long before she started wailing again. Thor looked to Loki, at a bit of a loss as to how to deal with her. Thor raised his eyebrows, not needing to voice his question.

"She's hungry." Loki stated and Thor continued to star at him. Rolling his eyes, Loki took Kalda from him, pulling the blanket from smothering her so much. He looked back at Thor, hoping he would take this as a signal to leave but Thor, being the wonderfully perceptive man that he isn't, just stood and continued to watch as Loki dealt with the baby. Knowing he couldn't put it off any longer, he held Kalda in one arm, using his other to pull off his shirt, which Thor quickly helped him with. He looked away from Thor, guiding Kalda to his breast, dreading the moment she touched him properly.

He heard Thor draw in a breath and knew he had noticed the way his skin had changed under Kaldas' mouth and where her hand was currently grasped a little more to the centre of his chest. Loki looked at Thor, a little defensively, not that he'd ever admit it. Thor soon looked away again.

"She feeds alright then?" Thor questioned at length, wandering around the room slowly.

"Alright enough." Was Loki's simple reply, not really feeling much like discussing anything with Thor right now. Thor seemed to get the hint because he stopped speaking for a while. Loki continued to nurse Kalda until she had finished and was now just using him as a dummy. He gently pulled her back and walked over to the bed, placing her down so he could put his shirt on.

...

Thor had been right; it hadn't been much longer before Odin had requested to see him and Loki with the baby. Thor had already gone to the throne room, Loki was waiting for a guard to come and escort him, pointlessly he thought.

He was gently rocking Kalda when he heard someone enter. A few moments later he turned round, face flashing with surprise for a brief moment when he saw Sif standing just inside his and Thor's rooms, waiting quietly and patiently.

"I will be escorting you...it seems." Loki nodded to her politely. She walked further into the room, getting closer to where Loki stood with his daughter. She looked down at Kalda for a few moments, watching as she tried to chew and suckle on the end of Loki's finger, Sif huffed out a small laugh.

"How is motherhood faring you?" Loki scowled at her, but there was an amused undertone to his expression. Sif smiled back, cheekily before she grew serious.

"She is gorgeous...I...I know...you didn't want this...of course you didn't but I just mean that...she is so beautiful."

"Thank you." Loki said, somewhat pleased with her words. He had half expected her to flinch when she saw her blue skin, along with the reddish eyes and markings but there was no disgust in Sifs' expression.

"You know, I couldn't talk to Thor for a long time after I found out that he...uh...after what he did." Loki knew she was referring to his rape; it hadn't been that difficult to figure out since he had tried to ask her for help the next day.

"I'm...I'm sorry...that I didn't do anything, that day when you ran into me. Everything happened so quickly...I..."

"It's alright." He cut in. "I don't know what I was expecting you to do anyway, just a moment of desperation, that was all, I hold nothing against you." He hadn't expected her to be so kind to him, even with what she knew, she had hated him after the things he had done.

"The warriors were the same, Fandral was furious at Thor, almost came to blows with him over it, Hogun had to interfere and Volstagg...well...he just ate, but in an angry manner." Loki chuckled at that, feeling glad, now, that Sif had been the one to come to escort him.

"Didn't Thor tell you any of this, since you two share a room, I figured you must speak."

"We haven't actually said that much to each other, not really and definitely nothing of worth, and no, he didn't say anything." He was probably too embarrassed to, he thought to himself.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, we were just as angry with you...you know...for the things you did too...I just...no one deserves that kind of degrading humiliation."

"Uhhh...thank you?" Loki raised his eyebrows, eyes looking towards her a little, getting interrupted when Kalda made a loud gurgling noise, making them both chuckle.

"What did you name her?"

"Shouldn't we be going?" Sif's smile dropped a little.

"Oh...uh...yes, I just...I wanted to see that you were doing alright with this, you know, it's a lot to deal with."

Loki nodded, lips tightening into a line that almost turned up into a slight smile. "I'm fine...I'm coping."

It was Sif's turn to nod as she straightened up and turned, ready to lead him out.

"Then let us go." She said finally. They started walking.

"Kalda" Loki said quietly to her. Sif turned her head slightly but didn't look back completely, seeming to realise what he was talking about.

"It's beautiful." She breathed in reply. They said no more as they walked but Loki felt a new kind of appreciation for Sif, a little confidence that there had been someone who was at least a little bit on his side.


	12. Chapter 12

Okayyy, first off, my apologies for not being able to upload yesterday, I currently have a shitload of work to do so I had to put it off until today.

I may not be able to post again for a couple of weeks. I have a university deadline to reach. that is the 1st of May and I am struggling to keep on top of that as well as my writing, I am starting to fall behind. I will do what I can to upload as much as possible between now and then, it's only a couple of weeks away anyway, three weeks from this day to be precise. Then I will be free for about five months because I don't start uni again until October.

In which case, I am hoping to be able to update every 1-2 days from there so I'm just letting you guys know that updates may be scarce for the next couple of weeks but we shall see.

I hope you are all still enjoying this.

…

Their steps echoed loudly as they entered the throne room, as it was pretty much empty. Odin, Thor, Frigga and the warriors three all looked down in his direction and Loki felt the slight nervous dread return to his stomach. Odin was not sitting up on his throne; he was standing at the bottom, as was everyone else. This was a little more casual than Loki had expected, seeing as Sif herself had escorted him.

He approached them slowly, stopping at a slightly further distance than was really necessary, Sif continuing to join the warriors three, she had pressed a hand against his arm gently, giving him a small smile and a nod before she did.

Frigga was smiling at him reassuringly, nodding at him to walk forward. He did, though he wasn't so sure now, he felt a little vulnerable like this. Them over there and him over here, it was a little unnerving.

Odin stepped forward himself, moving towards Loki. The younger god slowly pushed his arms forward, putting Kalda into Odin's view. He looked at her for a minute before moving to take hold of her, Loki pulled back a little. Frigga stepped forward slightly, Loki looked at her and she nodded, gesturing at him slightly. He paused a little longer before he passed his daughter to Odin. Loki could tell that Odin felt how cold she was, even through the blankets that he always had to put her in before anyone except him could touch her.

Odin looked down at her, eyes roaming over her face, pulling the blanket back to see the markings on her chest.

"Half Jotun." He said so quietly it was more like a breath. Loki's eyes darted up from Kalda to him.

"Her name?" He asked, not looking away from her.

"Kalda" Loki replied. If Odin was unhappy with it, he said nothing about it.

"We will need to glamour her, for her own safety." Loki's eyes widened in disbelief. He stepped forward quickly taking her off of Odin while snapping. "You'll do no such thing!"

"She is not safe looking this way. Do you think the rest of Asgard will stand to see a Jotun child living under our care, they would never accept her. Not to mention that no one can come into any contact with her like this." Loki stepped away, clutching her to him. He could feel tears of anger rising.

"So what, you cover her up, hide her away too? Lie to her, like you did me? Oh yes, and what good came of that huh? Isn't this what you had always wanted anyway? Isn't this why you stole me in the first place, covered me up to hide the monster? So I could be bred and make little half breed children, a means of bringing about an alliance with Jotunheim?"

"I glamoured you to protect you to Loki, bringing a Jotun child back here would not have been acceptable. If I hadn't brought you back, you wouldn't have survived a night."

"Oh because bringing me up here has done me so much good! I suppose the only way you could pretend I was truly your son was by covering me first." He placed his hand on Kaldas' chest, feeling his hand change, but instead of stopping it, he let it flow; let it consume his entire body. He could actually hear the shocked silence throughout the room. Only Odin and Heimdall had seen him in his true form since he had been a baby himself. All eyes were definitely on him now.

"Tell me, was this what you had hoped for in a son? I really don't think it was, you should have left me in Jotunheim. You should have let me die!"

"Loki..." His mother warned. He knew the tears were about to spill, they were blurring his vision.

"No mother...I won't let him do it!" He continued to back away as he spoke, returning his glare back to Odin, his hatred flaring anew. "I won't let you cover up my daughter like you did to me. She will grow up knowing who she is..." His gaze snapped to Thor briefly, then back. "Knowing...why she is...she will know everything, you will not lie to her!..No one will."

"Loki..." Odin boomed. "Loki...come back here, this is not finished." Loki ignored him, he turned his back to them, picking up his pace, he left the giant hall. He heard Odin send a guard to follow him but he didn't care. He didn't stop until he was outside, ignoring the people who gasped loudly at him in horror and quickly moved to get away from him, he went to the farthest part of the gardens he could reach without the guards stopping him.

He paced angrily for a while until he realised Kalda was crying, he didn't know for how long she had been like this. He rocked her gently, shushing her.

He wasn't even sure what had just happened. He had expected Odin to be...well...Odin, but he didn't think he would go as far as wanting to glamour her, after how it had worked out with him, surely he would've realised that was a bad idea. More than that, though, Loki really hadn't expected himself to get quite as defensive as he had.

What was happening to him? Had he gone insane? He couldn't stand his daughter so much as touching him just after he had given birth to her, now here he was, arguing for her, defending her...caring? But it wasn't even completely about her. Somewhere in Odin's words, he had suddenly realised how much her situation was similar to his. Parents who didn't want her, about to be disguised, hidden and lied to for however long and he could see her life playing out just like his had, never quite understanding why people were uncomfortable around him, always feeling different only to find out that he was the monster that used to terrify him as a child. The nightmares he had when Thor would tell him the dark stories of the Jotnar and the horrific things they would do if they ever caught him. He found himself not wanting her to become like him, quite desperately too. She did not deserve to be treated that way, not like he had been, so unknowingly too. He would not lie to her; he could not lie to her if he wanted to, not about this. Odin was crazy to think that he would have ever agreed to it.

He sat down on the grass, looking down at Kalda, he still hadn't changed from his Jotun form and Kalda seemed to like it. He pulled her covers back looking straight into her face; her eyes darted around for a minute, trying to settle on his but struggling. He made a noise and her eyes moved to him much quicker, she responded positively to his voice often. He smiled at her again, feeling the tears welling up and spilling this time. He didn't know when he had grown to care for this little thing but he knew he wouldn't let anyone touch her.

"No one's going to do to you what they did to me, okay?" He sobbed at her quietly. "I'll die first." He knew that eventually this would be the case but for now he could keep that promise. When she is six, she will be her own person, she will know who she is, and it will be too late to corrupt her.

...

It wasn't much later, he had been whispering to Kalda as she dosed off, that he heard footsteps approach him. Already recognising the sound of his mother's steps, he didn't turn round. She paused for a moment, waiting to see if he would tell her to leave but when he didn't, she came and sat next to him.

"She prefers when I'm in this form." He mumbled softly to her after a few minutes. "It calms her."

Frigga nodded, tilting her head slightly to look at Kalda, trying to fight sleep in Loki's arms.

"I imagine it would, she might only be a baby, but she's very perceptive, we must all seem so strange to her, so pale and overbearingly warm." Loki stroked the fine hair on kaldas' head lightly as she finally drifted into slumber. Only then did he allow his glamour to return.

"Oh..." Frigga said. "Don't cover up for my sake, please, my beautiful son."

"I really don't think 'beautiful' is a word that really describes the Jotnar well." Loki mused, darkly.

"No." His mother agreed, making him look sideways at her, slightly confused. She looked at him, face unreadable before continuing. "The Jotnar are a dark race, cruel, violent, barbaric at times, not at all pleasant to be quite honest." He could hear the smile in her voice, still not quite sure what she was getting at by technically insulting him and his daughter, even if he did agree.

"But you, my son...are no Jotun." She spoke over him before he could cut in. "No...You may look like one when you so choose, you may have been born as one but you do not have the Jotnar nature. We didn't raise you that way. You are loving, you are caring. You were hurt, you made your mistakes and they have cost you a lot but even after all of that, you still have good in you Loki, you may not see it, and that does not surprise me at all but I can, even more after that display back there. Where most might have seen anger and hatred, I saw love. I saw a love so deep that you, yourself are helpless against it, a love that you will never be able to undo and a love that you would give your own life for. The love for your daughter."

Loki scoffed and looked away. Frigga did not berate him for that, she would have probably expected as much. It would take a lot more than some loving speech to make Loki accept who he was, but hearing his mothers words gave him a small amount of hope, that maybe one day he could.

"My daughter." He breathed after a few seconds. Frigga hummed and smiled at him in reply.

"Your father..."

"He's not my father!" Loki quickly snapped. Frigga's smile became a little bitter for a moment.

"No..." She continued. "And nor am I your mother." Loki breathed in deep, closing his eyes. He hadn't expected that as a reply, he always thought she would refuse to be anything except his mother for as long as she could get away with it. Maybe now she felt she couldn't do that anymore. This saddened Loki deeply.

"The All-father had no intention of hurting Kalda, just as he had never intended to hurt you. You must understand this Loki; he wanted to protect you, as he does her." It was only his deep respect for her that kept him sitting there listening to her, anyone else and he would have been gone.

"And I suppose using me to somehow make an alliance was just a coincidence? Did he really think it could work? That I wouldn't be hurt when I found out that I was the one thing that I had been brought up to hate? I couldn't let that happen to Kalda, I cannot lie to her like that, love her or not."

"And I could never expect you to, as it seems, neither would the All-father, since he has decided to drop it."

Loki looked at her, frowning slightly in confusion. Frigga nodded at him, smiling lightly.

"He said that you were right, it would just be making the same mistake again and it would not be fair on Kalda."

Loki scoffed softly. "I wonder how bitter those words tasted coming out of his mouth." He smiled inwardly to himself though, he was secretly thankful that he wouldn't have to fight more on that one.

"He did say though, that she will have the same restrictions as you. She will be limited to the palace grounds unless she is glamoured first." Loki rolled his eyes and snarled a little at his mother's words. She spoke quickly before he could interrupt.

"This is not a punishment, Loki. I know it may feel like it but I do have to agree with him on this one, she would not be safe out there. There's already going to be trouble when the people outside of the palace discover her existence. Within these walls, no one would dare touch her, but outside, we cannot be so sure. Please tell me you understand."

Loki paused, not looking at her. Eventually he sighed hard, closing his eyes and nodding his understanding. He didn't like it, but she was right, he refused to glamour her now but if Kalda, herself, chose to use a glamour so she could leave the palace grounds when she's older, he would not stop her.

He lifted Kalda up carefully; passing her towards his mother, pulling her blanket up a bit more, so Frigga could hold her better. Frigga accepted her granddaughter, smiling brightly and talking to her softly as Kalda stirred and cooed at the movement.

"She has your eyes." Frigga said at length.

"Her eyes are blue." Loki quipped back, making her laugh a little.

"I meant the shape." She continued to look over her small features. "She has your mouth to, and of course, your hair. You know, really, I look at her and I'm back to when Odin first brought you home, I looked down at you and I knew I would do everything in my power to protect you, to love you like a mother should." Loki looked up at his mother, not really sure why she was saying all this, and not really sure if he felt better or worse for it.

"You brought me much joy, as you grew up, but you were also an unmatchable prankster, got yourself in some situations once you got a hang of your magic." She laughed at the memories and Loki couldn't help but to smile with her.

"Do you think you will teach her magic, as I taught you?"

"If she wants to learn it, of course, though it might be left to you. I don't think I will have taught her everything by the time she's six." He huffed in dark amusement. Frigga didn't laugh at that though. He looked at her for a moment and looked away again.

"Come on mother, it's going to happen, ignoring it won't make a difference. The child turns six, I die, it's like one big count down, may as well get used to it."

"I can't just accept your death so easily, I won't."

"You don't have much choice. The All-father decided the sentence as a King, not as my 'father' and not as your husband. This was political and the punishment fits the crime." He hadn't wanted the conversation to become so negative but she would have to face it sooner or later.

"We should probably go in now, it's getting late, she will be getting hungry soon and no doubt Thor will have something to say about everything." Loki stood up, taking Kalda from his mother and helping her up. Slowly they started walking back towards the palace together, as the sun started setting.

...

Loki had bid his mother a good evening, let her say goodnight to Kalda, who was now awake and cooing quite loudly as he walked through the halls, he tried to shush her to begin with but then quit and figured people could deal with it, it's not like she's screaming or anything.

He returned to Thor's rooms. Thor, who was working out as he walked in, stopped and looked at him.

"Don't say anything; I don't need arguments, not tonight." Thor raised his eyebrows a little.

"Who said anything about arguing, I agree with you." That made Loki stop and look at him.

"You agree?"

"Yes, it is not fathers decision to glamour her, plus it would be unfair to her to do so. There is no reason to hide who she is. She is our daughter, not something to hide away."

Let's not forget how she came to be here, Loki thought bitterly to himself, not saying it out loud for the sake of avoiding argument; he really wasn't in the mood. He walked over to Thor's bed, sitting himself down as Kalda started to whine, quickly latching her onto his breast, he sat back and sighed, glad to be able to stop thinking for a little bit. He heard Kalda sigh contentedly and continue suckling. He smiled a little, she really was quite gorgeous.

"She's pretty hungry, huh?" Thor said, approaching the bed after a while. Loki opened his eyes but didn't lift his head from where it lay back into the pillows.

"She's very thirsty, I'm not sure I'm producing enough to keep this up."

"Is there nothing you can do?"

"I asked the healer, she just said that the more the baby feeds, the more I should make but..." He cut off, not intending to go any further than that.

"But what?" Thor urged.

"But..." Loki started. "...it can help if I...I...uh...'breast feed'...between her feeds as well..." He trailed off again, feeling himself flush as he spoke. Thor just looked confused.

"Between feeds? But if she's already fed, why would she feed again, surely she would be full, no?" Oh gods, he had hoped that Thor wouldn't ask.

"Well, yes, but I don't think the healer meant her anyway." He must have been bright red by now. He glanced up at Thor who clearly still hadn't understood what he was saying. Loki resisted the urge to get up and smack his head, the fool.

"Does it look like I could reach?" He asked thought gritted teeth. Thor shook his head. "No, no I could not, so obviously...someone else would have to do it." He actually saw the moment that his words sunk in. Thor's face dropped, looking slightly disgusted. Loki huffed an amused breath at his expression. Thor was quiet for a few minutes before he turned back to Loki, any confidence in his movements, gone.

"If you need...uh..." His face contorted as he tried to find the right words. "If...you want me to...uh...are...are you asking for...me to...to..." Loki cut him off before he could fumble any more words.

"Oh gods, no Thor, I do not require that from you just yet, I think I will manage for now." This conversation was not heading where he would have possibly wanted it to, he would have preferred an argument.

"Oh...yes...of course. I was just...you know...I was just saying...if...if you did...uh...need my...help, I...I would...you know...help...if you...needed..." He trailed off, flushing red himself as he did. Loki's face scrunched up a little, though he tried to keep his voice as even as he could.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind..." He responded sounding, and feeling, pretty weirded out.


	13. Chapter 13

AN/ Okay so, I do apologise, it has been ages since I last updated. I handed in my final work this morning and I am pretty much done with uni until September now. I do have other stuff that I will be doing but I now have a lot more free time.

I'm hoping to update every couple of days if I can, or I will just update as each chapter is finished.

Enjoy!

Kalda had been a nightmare, constantly wanting to feed but messing around as soon as he put her to his chest. She was crying a lot, he could tell she was still hungry and there was nothing he could do.

"I'm empty, I swear. Look, Thor, she's suckling, she's definitely trying but there's just nothing there for her." Loki stressed one evening. Thor came over and sat by them, looking over at a pissed off looking baby, writhing around in frustration.

"Well, are you sure?" Thor asked. "They still look pretty full from here." Loki's breasts were nothing like a woman's, they weren't soft, they didn't droop like water droplets, they still looked like his chest did before, they just looked fuller when he needed to feed her and generally looked normal again when she had finished.

"What else could it be? She's not drinking anything. Look, she's getting nothing!"

Thor placed his hand on Loki's arm. "Calm down, Loki, it's alright. Don't stress."

Loki stood up, moving to place Kalda down. "I can't feed her...I can't feed her!" He couldn't help but to stress, he couldn't feed his own daughter. She would starve without his milk.

Thor stood up too. "Come here, sit down, and calm down a minute alright?" Loki sighed but he did so after a minute. Thor kneeled down in front of Loki, placing his hands up by his shoulders, he rubbed his arms a little before he pulled at him gently, guiding his to lean forward towards him. Loki, who had his head down, looked up to make eye contact with Thor.

"What are you doing?" Loki asked, his face just inches away from Thor's now. The older god's hands slid down to Loki's sides.

"I said I would help you if you needed, right? I meant it Loki." Upon hearing his words, Loki started to pull back.

"No Thor, it's fine, you don't need to..."

"Loki, it's alright. I want to help, for Kalda, yes?" Loki just looked at him for a couple of minutes before sighing again, nodding slowly and averting his eyes.

"Alright." Thor whispered but Loki figured it was more to himself than anything. He felt Thor lean forward, his right hand moving along towards Loki's breast. The younger god tensed a bit, this was too bizarre. Thor smoothed his thumb along the small fleshy mound, gently. Loki breathed in slightly sharp; he was still pretty tender there, as to be expected.

Thor paused for a few moments before leaning forward. Loki closed his eyes, feeling uncomfortable. He could tell that Thor was hesitant to, even at the best of times; this would have been pretty awkward. A few seconds later, he heard Thor move, then felt his mouth press onto his breast, around his nipple, not touching it yet but Loki felt the heat of his mouth as it surrounded him.

After a moment, Loki felt a wet tongue drag along the tender bud as Thor relaxed a little. He focused on keeping his breathing even, which became harder to do when he felt as Thor actually sucked gently. This was nothing like when Kalda was feeding, not even slightly, Thor sucked harder, tugged on him slightly, and then sucked a little more, tilting his head around at different angles. Loki gasped suddenly as he felt the movement and Thor quickly pulled back, spraying the milk from his mouth in shock. Loki just looked at him and Thor smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, I was not expecting that." Loki could see his own milk dripping down Thor's lips, his eyes following the drops until Thor, forgetting himself, slid his tongue out and catching the drops. Loki tutted and wiped down his own chest.

"It's cold." Thor mused, sounding quite surprised by this. "Like, really cold...I guess you're not empty after all." He chuckled lightly, trying to take some of the awkward feeling away.

"What did you do?" Loki asked.

"I'm not sure, hang on." Thor said quickly, then he returned his head to Loki's chest, sucking at his nipple again, getting nothing, but when he tilted his head like before, holding the skin around his nipple with his teeth and pulling lightly and sucking gently, it was like he turned on a tap, the cold fluid flowing into his mouth. This time he didn't pull back when this happened and Loki felt and heard him swallow, gulping a little from the angle of his neck. Loki moaned hard, against his will and pushed Thor off.

"That was...strange." He had no idea how to describe how he felt about what had just happened, he didn't think there even were words for such a thing.

"I think maybe Kalda just isn't hitting the right angle. Maybe because she's growing or something, she is tilting differently than before. Try not holding her just directly under you, but more to the side, and maybe not so close, pull her away slightly so she has to latch on tighter to keep you in her mouth." Almost as if on cue, Kalda started whimpering from where she had been laid to bed.

Thor got up and fetched her, making soothing noises to her and bringing her over to her 'mother' as Thor put it, earning a glare from the younger god. Thor smiles jokingly and placed Kalda in Loki's arms, turning to sit next to him and placing his hand behind her head. He gently pressed her head towards his breast and Loki let him control the movements for now. As her mouth felt his nipple, it instinctively opened, making a suckling motion before it was even in place. Damn she was hungry, Loki thought.

Before she could latch on properly, Thor pulled her away a little, before pressing her forward again, repeating this a few times. She soon picked up what was going on and after a few more tries, she pressed her gums down a little, so when Thor pulled her away, she pulled on his nipple a bit, still suckling. His skin flared back to its Jotun blue, which didn't bother Loki as much anymore, he had soon gotten used to it. When he was alone, he would sometimes turn into his Jotun form and strip her of her blankets and clothes so she could just rest against his bare chest, skin to skin. She was always so much happier afterwards and it pretty much always calmed her straight down when she was upset. Combining this tugging she was now doing, with the slight head tilt, just as Thor had done, they soon heard the familiar gulping noises, telling them that she was now drinking his milk. She sighed contentedly and Loki laughed out in relief.

"There we go." Thor said, happily, seemingly glad that he could help, Loki thought. He must have felt a little useless since it was difficult for him to do much as he couldn't touch her directly for too long.

"She really is beautiful." He breathed fondly. Loki didn't respond but Thor picked up the subtle half smile, from the corner of his eye.

"You know, I'm...uh...glad to see that you have found peace with Kalda. I know it was difficult for you in the beginning but..."

"I'm doing what I have to" Loki interrupted. "She's here and that's that. Like I have said before, it's not like I have much of a choice." He could see Thor's knowing smile but he paid him no notice. Thor said nothing else on the subject.

...

The rest of the day had generally been a quiet one. The awkwardness of the earlier incident, pretty much forgotten. Thor had been trying hard to help Loki with Kalda as much as he could. Loki let him, since he proved to be useful enough and Thor seemed to be genuinely happy to help.

Loki knew that Thor was trying to build up an understanding with Loki which he hoped would build into a mutual respect. Loki didn't stop him from his efforts and frankly, it was much easier to deal with him if they weren't fighting but he wasn't sure he could ever really trust Thor again. It wasn't just about him now, though. He knew Thor would be there for Kalda, he wanted his mother to take her on as best she could when he was executed, she is a strong woman but she is getting on a little and Kalda was going to be here for a long time so he knew he would need Thor to be there for her when he couldn't.

Thor was currently walking round the room talking to Kalda while holding her, rocking her gently, even though Loki had told him not to since she would get used to it and he would be the one who had to get up in the middle of the night to rock her to sleep. Alas, he did not listen but he had taken Kalda so Loki could lie down and get some rest, he was back up to his full health but he often felt drained and it worried Thor. So Loki had laid down on Thor's bed -or technically 'their' bed since Thor insisted it was a fine enough arrangement- and closed his eyes, but he was far from tired, his mind was whirling and instead he just got lost in his thoughts, listening to Thor whispering and sometimes humming to Kalda and the way she cooed back sometimes.

They were interrupted not long after though, by a young servant. They cleared their throat timidly, before speaking.

"The All-father has ordered the presence of Prince Thor and Loki, the order of which to be followed immediately."

Loki's eyes opened with a roll. What could the old codger want now? Loki hadn't seen him since he first introduced Kalda to him, Thor had taken her to see him a couple of times, under the promise that he would not let Odin glamour her, to which Thor pointed out, Odin had agreed not to anyway.

A servant had also been sent to take Kalda while they were away but Loki refused, he did not trust anyone with her yet, never mind a servant. He had heard of the whispers about his daughter, around the palace, people were none too happy about her presence, which didn't surprise Loki though, they were all luck he had not heard such whispers himself, otherwise may have regretted their tongues, since they would not have spent much longer with them intact. For now he kept her close, in his sight or with his mother because he knew he could lays trust her. He was building up more of a trust with Thor, only when it came to Kalda though, but Thor was happy enough that Loki was even talking to him.

So he and Thor, escorted needlessly by two guards made their way to the throne room, Kalda tucked up in Loki's arms. Loki walked just slightly behind Thor, not for any reason, it was just a way that they had always walked, it felt strangely normal. Of course that changed when he looked down at the baby in his arms, the clothes he wore, the magic binding bracers on his wrists. So much had changed; it felt like it had been so much longer than it really had. About nine months ago now, since Kalda was early, he was taken from the dungeons and brutally raped in Thor's rooms, and it was about a year before that, he was placed in the dungeons after his defeat on Midgard. Then it was another year, even before that, he fell from the Bifrost, got captured by Thanos and tortured to within an inch of his life before they convinced him that he was actually capable of subjugating the people of Midgard.

He wasn't brainwashed by anyone's standards, just pushed further than he thought he could. It would be so much easier to say he had been controlled by Thanos and although the sceptre had been part of it, it didn't take over his mind so much as take his true feelings of betrayal and desire for vengeance and control and increase them tenfold. He knows what he did; he was as guilty as Thanos himself. He knew what he was doing the whole time.

They arrived at the throne room, the guards stopping and standing each side of the door entrance for them to pass through. From here, the All-father was a small lump on a rather large chair, a blur of colours, red, gold, with his silvery white hair. Frigga was standing a few steps down from the throne, her usual place. The smile on her face was so wide; it looked like it could split her face. There was no one else in the throne room but the warriors three and Sif; they were always expected at these things, especially if it concerned Thor.

They approached the throne, Thor dropping to his knee, arm across his chest, head bowed. Since Loki was holding his daughter and had no actual intention of bowing, he dipped his head a little, looking up with his eyes. Odin didn't seem bothered by this, people holding children weren't actually expected to bow, unless the child could stand on its own and he doubted Odin could expect as much from a month and a half old baby. He looked over at his beaming mother, then to the warriors. Sif nodded politely in his general direction, which he returned. He had not seen her since she had escorted him here before. They were not exactly friends, but he appreciated her ability to be subtle and somewhat kind to him, since she had always really been on Thor's side.

Fandral shot him a somewhat cocky smirk, Loki knew it was in jest though. They had always had quite a love - hate relationship, they loved to hate each other but inevitably would protect each other when it came down to it. He was the only one of them who was able to call him out on his lies sometimes, apart from his mother of course. Hogun and Volstagg had generally been neutral about him, which is why Loki had been surprised to hear that Volstagg had been angered upon hearing what Thor had done to him.

Odin stood up.

"Stand." he boomed down to Thor and the older god did. Odin moved his way down the stairs towards them. He would often do this when he wanted to appear a little less powerful, like he was talking to them as a father as well as a king. He was doing this for Thor now, of course. He didn't come right up to them, stopping a few steps from their level. He was still in charge here.

"Since the upcoming of the birth of Thor's child." Odin said. "Appeal after appeal has been made on Loki's behalf. These appeals have become stronger since the birth of said child." Odin's eye landed on the bundle in his arms and Loki's fingers tightened their hold on Kalda, curling into her blanket just slightly.

"Thor, of course, is aware of this." He said with a hint of a smile towards his son. "After my sons' consistent appeals, in which he has made some decent arguments, I have decided to re-evaluate Loki's sentence." Loki twitched his head slightly to the side so he could subtly look at Thor. The older god was smiling but appeared to be trying to contain it. Loki knew he had been pleading his case since the new sentence had been given but he never actually expected that it would get him anywhere.

"Therefore, the trial will commence in a few days, you will be sent word of a precise time. I would advise you to take this seriously, as there will be no more trials after this, my decision will be final." He slammed Gungir on the ground and it echoed throughout the halls with a sense of ending that it always had.

They were dismissed, so they turned to leave. Loki felt that he had held his tongue unbelievably well, saying some of the things he wanted to, may have changed that meeting entirely.

Frigga quickly caught up with them, a bright smile on her face. Both he and Thor stopped and turned to greet her. She leaned up, placing her hands either side of Thor's face.

"I don't know what you said but somehow you did this!" She beamed up at him and Thor beamed back. Loki just raised an eyebrow at them before Frigga looked at him, coming forward she grasped his shoulders and hugged him around Kalda. He accepted her hug but smiles were not gracing his face this evening.

"If you will excuse me, mother." He said, pulling away. "I am quite tired today and want nothing more than to return to my bed. It is also time for Kalda to be settled for the evening." She didn't sleep through the night but she tended to stay asleep until the early hours.

Alright my dear, I bid you both a good evening and we can only hope that things turn out well." She kissed them both on the cheek again, as well as Kalda and then left to her own quarters.

"There was no reason to be so cold, Loki, mother is simply happy that you may have another chance to prove your worth and live." Loki picked up his pace, walking ahead of Thor.

"Oh no, Thor, I'm positively shining with joy, is it not obvious by the extra spring in my step?" He called back sarcastically." And really, what was Thor hoping for, he had voiced nothing but his wish to just end it all since his return. It was Thor who couldn't let go of him; Loki had accepted this a long time ago. 


	14. Chapter 14

When Odin had said tried, he hadn't actually meant trial, which had confused Loki at first, but then it made sense, he had already faced a trial and Odin knew what he had done, it didn't need to be explained again. Thor had explained the new circumstances that might change Loki's case, though he wasn't sure if Thor had made the fact that he had raped him so that he would get pregnant and not be allowed to be executed, clear. He was basically just being re-sentenced; depending on what Odin now decided was an appropriate fitting to his crimes, as well as his own wrong doings.

When a servant came scuttling in, telling them that Odin had asked (or demanded) the presence of Loki, alone, the young god couldn't quite help but to be surprised. He refused to leave Kalda though, he knew Thor would be fine with her but he couldn't. He had heard too many whisperings and rumours recently about people's grievances with having a Jotun, not only on Asgard but living in the palace, not to mention the fact that it was the offspring of a 'psychotic miscreant', as claimed the whisperings. And this was just from the people within the palace themselves, only the gods knew what would happen when the rest of Asgard found out. The one thing he couldn't do, was pinpoint who was saying such things, if he found out, oh Hel would they regret their words.

So for now, he was keeping Kalda in his sight at all times. Thor huffed a little but he understood why Loki would want to keep her with him and didn't fight him on it, though he warned that Odin might not be too happy, since he specifically said alone. The expression on Loki's face when Thor told him this, said everything about his opinion on the All-fathers' feelings.

A guard arrived a few minutes later, to lead Loki to the All-fathers quarters, which also surprised Loki. Odin hadn't dealt with Loki anywhere outside the throne room since he returned to Asgard. The guard gave Loki a wary look when he saw that he was bringing Kalda but he said nothing. Loki threw one last glance at Thor before following the guard out of their chambers.

The walk was quiet apart from Kalda, who had decided that now was the time to start gurgling and trying to grab Loki's hair, which was currently running down over his shoulders. He had fed her recently so he was glad that he would not have to face that dilemma in front of Odin, he couldn't even begin to imagine the sheer embarrassment he would feel at being forced to do such in front of him.

Odin was alone, Loki noticed as he arrived at the old kings chambers. He was not in his battle armour; he was dressed quite simply in loose, hanging clothing. He still looked every bit the king he was but there was a softness to him now that Loki had not seen in a long time. He wasn't sure if it actually put him a little more on edge but he showed no sign of this. Simply standing in the doorway, looking in coldly towards his, once believed to be, father.

"Come in, Loki." Odin requested simply, gesturing him forward. Loki breathed in, keeping his face masked blank and walking in. Kalda was still playing with whatever part of him she could reach, though he pulled away from any skin contact for now. He might have stripped his Asgardian form to make a point to the All-father but that didn't mean he was comfortable generally being around the man in his true form.

Loki said nothing, he fixed his eyes on a mark on the wall, just past where Odin was standing, and he waited for the other to speak first. He could feel the old man's eyes on him, making him want to shift around uncomfortably but he didn't, he kept himself as still as he physically could whilst holding a squirming child.

"She's a feisty little thing, isn't she?" Odin said at length. That made Loki's eyes flick straight to the others, his expression remaining the same, his face angled downwards, just slightly, making him look up through his eye lashes, enough to give his face a menacing edge.

"Yes, she tends to fidget a lot when around people that I don't particularly like." He bit.

"Loki..."

"What do you want?" Loki cut in, keeping his voice low. Odin straightened up, visibly.

"I want to talk, properly, face to face, without starting the next war. Do you think that you are capable of such?"

"I suppose that will have to depend on what you wish to talk about." Loki deadpanned. Odin just watched him for a moment before moving across the room and gesturing a couple of seats by a rather grand looking fireplace, which was also currently lit.

"That's not really a good idea." Loki kept his words calm and as respectful as they were going to get for now. Odin wanted to talk, he could do that, he couldn't help the tone of sarcasm that underlined his words though.

The All-father looked down at Loki's daughter and nodded once. "Right."

Loki looked around. At the corner of each room were pillars and there was quite a wide set of steps leading up to them which connected around the edge of the room, almost like the floor they were currently standing on was in a slight dip compared to the steps. Loki sighed to himself and moved to one of the steps to sit down.

"How is she faring?" Odin asked after a few horribly silent moments. Loki looked up at Odin like he couldn't believe that the old king was serious about having a 'chat'. This could not be a good idea.

"She is doing well. I'm sure that you can probably hear her some mornings, even from here. Her wailing can be...rather loud." Loki smiled inwardly, sometimes when she screamed like that, especially if it was very early in a morning, he would allow her to continue for just a couple of minutes longer before he calmed her down. He liked to think that he had ruined the end of a good dream for any of the bastards that hated her.

"Indeed, she has quite a set of lungs. Just as you did." Loki's calm mask slipped for a split second at the surprise that Odin would actually bring that up. Talking about Loki's childhood now seemed almost taboo.

At Loki's lack of response, Odin seems to take it as a sign that he could continue.

"Thor would come running into these very quarters before I or Frigga, herself could even get up to tend to you. He loved to help out with looking after you. A protective big brother from the start."

"Not my brother." Loki reminded, bored of having to say it by now.

"Not by blood." Odin corrected. "If you had seen how he was when you first came home and how he basically raised you himself, you might think differently."

"That was then, things change. He is most definitely not my brother in any form of the word, not anymore. He is the father of Kalda, nothing more to me."

"Understandable." Odin agreed and Loki frowned a little before blanking his face again. Odin wasn't arguing with him. He was almost being...nice. Loki didn't like it, he could do hateful and angry, he couldn't do pleasant conversation. Odin smiled a little and walked over to where Loki sat, and then he actually turned and sat a few feet away from him.

"We did what we could to bring you up as our own. It was not easy to hide you and the glamour was necessary but not because we were shamed, I wouldn't have brought you home if I was."

"Except that you realised I might come in handy in case the threat of a war against Jotunheim ever appeared."

"No, Loki. It did occur to me that you may be able to help bring about an alliance but I never would have forced such from you. I hoped that by the time you were old enough, you would have wanted to help us. My actual plan was to have you both ascend to the throne. You were going to rule as kings together, as equals."

"The coronation that started all of this was for Thor and Thor alone. If what you said were true, we would have both been part of that ceremony."

"I didn't say at the same time. Thor was being crowned first because he was the oldest. At the time I deemed him ready, though, this was a mistake and you were too young to join him yet." Loki shook his head, he had to be lying, it made no sense.

"So you wanted us to rule together, and what? Is this where you intended to have Thor breed me and produce a suitable heir to bring our two worlds together?" Odin leaned back, looking away.

"That would have been your choice. I knew that the Jotnar were of one gender and that, if you so chose, you could together produce a potential heir that could form a final peace with our worlds. The threat of war would end and we would have some very useful allies." Loki said nothing; he was struggling to keep his calm. He pretty much knew all of this himself, it was obvious, but to hear it actually said out loud just made it more real.

"It wasn't my sole intention to just use you for this purpose but it was something I had hoped would be possible."

"So why did you let me grow up, not knowing who I was? Why did you bring me up to hate my own race?" Loki's voice rose slightly towards the end. Kalda squirmed and started whining, he rocked her a bit to hush her but it didn't work so he lifted her up onto his knee and bounced her up and down gently.

"We didn't want you to grow up feeling different; we felt it would have been easier on you. And I never taught you to hate, merely children's horror stories, not of my control are what made you fear them. Thor had always boasted about slaughtering them all because then, that was what he believed was the right thing to do. I thought he would grow up and realise he couldn't solve everything with his fists by the time he was to become king. I was wrong, he was not yet ready but I believe he now sees things differently, if his desperation to save you is anything to go by. Clearly, he sees you as more than a mere monster."

Loki didn't respond. He didn't even know how to, of all the things he thought might happen when he came to 'speak' to Odin, this was by far the least likely thing he expected. Odin had actually wanted to just talk after all.

Kaldas' whining had turned into full, blown crying by now. He pushed his hand up against her cheek and stroking her ear with his fingers like he knew she liked, his hand returning to its original form. He tried to tilt it away from the All-father but he knew that he could see him; nothing was said about it though.

"Why did you have me brought here?" Loki asked quietly, a few silent minutes later, well, silent from all but kaldas' noises, she was calming down though, with Loki's hand still pressed to her face. He pulled her back down from his knee, into his arms and held his hand with her so she could play with it. She grabbed at his hand and tried to chew on his fingertips. Odin shifted around a bit and really? He was nervous?

"I wished to...apologise to you." Loki froze, quickly trying to mask his response, by returning his attention to his daughter but he really hadn't been prepared at all for that. His face changed expressions subtly as he tried to figure out how to respond.

"Apologise?" Surely he couldn't be serious, after everything, he wanted to apologise?

"It was the wrong decision to hide who you were for so long and have you find out as you did. My intentions were good; I meant only good things for you. But it was messy, rushed and not well planned and for that I am sorry." Loki didn't look at him, he couldn't, he could barely even think properly and dammit, he prided himself on his ability to mask his feelings.

"Is it not a bit late for that now?"

"Perhaps." Odin said. "I will be calling you to the throne room later for the final sentence. You must understand that I do so as your king and not as a father. Right here and now, I need you to know, that I understand how my mistakes have lead to a lot of your actions. But your crimes were many and your crimes were unforgiving, especially in relation to Midgard. These cannot go unpunished and that is upon what I have made my decision for your sentence." Loki had heard enough.

"What do you really think it matters to me?" He stood up. "I do not need you to justify your decisions to me, as though my approval would make a difference. You did what you did, as did I. The only difference is I'm being punished for my actions. There was no need to summon me here to...explain yourself." Loki spat the words at Odin. "Nor do I need your apologies, so don't waste your breath, Hel knows how much you have left of it." Odin stood up, considerable faster than a man of his age should be able to.

"I merely wished to set a few things straight..."

"Well don't!" Loki cut in. "You will make your decision known to the courts and we will be done with it. You underestimate me if you think you can make amends with me so easily...your apologies." He scoffed at the end.

"Loki!" The usual sternness had returned to his voice, clearly this had not gone how he had intended.

"What were you hoping for? That I would break down and beg for your forgiveness, tell you how all I ever wanted was to feel accepted and loved just like Thor, is that what you want? Because that's not going to happen, you foolish old man!" Loki stormed to the door, ignoring Odin's calls, the guard quickly running after him. Of course, Odin was very much within his power to order Loki to come back but he didn't, just like he hadn't the day he first met Kalda.

Loki stormed all the way back to Thor's quarters. Kalda had started crying when he yelled at Odin, she didn't like when Loki was upset, he wasn't quite sure how she could tell, her level of perceptiveness was ridiculous. He bounced his body as he walked in, trying to calm her. Thor jumped up as soon as he saw Loki.

"What happened?"

"I'm going to die, that's what happened!" He was still angry. Thor's eyes went wide, and then he frowned.

"What did he say? Why are you going to die, the new trial was supposed to change your sentence."

Loki wasn't sure whether to answer or not. "He apologised." He said after a few seconds. Thor's mouth dropped, sheer utter shock written all over his face.

"He apologised? You can't be serious, he doesn't apologise, I don't think he has ever apologised to me for anything. Why would that mean you are going to die?"

"Because he is clearly trying to kill off any guilt he may feel about pretty much ensuring that I would become the way I am...I am not saying he is entirely to blame..." He added seeing that Thor was about to cut in. "I know I did some things I shouldn't have but that doesn't change what he said and I have a feeling that his reason for this is because he doesn't think I'm going to like what he has to say later in the throne room, I'm which case, it should be you that he's apologising to, not me." He gave up trying to calm Kalda down with bouncing.

He handed her to Thor before removing his upper body clothing and taking Kalda back into his arms, allowing his natural skin to take over his entire upper half. A deep blue, much deeper than kaldas' spread along his chest and arms, starting from where Kalda was touching him and moving upwards, up to his neck and continuing across his face, his eyes becoming their vivid red. Thor stared at him, having never seen him fully in his original form this close before. His eyes followed along the younger gods' markings, starting from his chest, going up to his face, seeing the small indents they made in his dark skin. He had the urge to trace them with his fingers but knew it would burn him nastily if he tried.

Loki looked up at him, almost as if daring him to say something. Thor wouldn't be intimidated by this.

"She has your markings." He pointed out as Loki undressed Kalda, leaving her in only her under cloth. As soon as he huddled her against his bare shoulder, her crying ceased. Thor knew that he would never be able to bond as close with her as Loki could. Maybe it was the Jotun thing but Thor wasn't sure. Loki had struggled so much to be able to deal with her and he claimed that he still wasn't overly fond of her, and was only doing what was required of him but Kalda needed him so desperately. He had an effect on her that no one else would ever be able to match and that didn't bother Thor like he thought it might have. He would do anything for his daughter, no doubt but Loki, Loki was her mother; it was as simple as that.

"Does she?" Loki asked, looking down before stopping and humming to himself, seemingly disinterested but Thor smiled at his display. Loki just glared at him and continued cuddling his, now happily cooing, daughter.

...

And here they were, moment of truth, Loki thought bitterly as he entered the throne room. Thor had taken Kalda and moved to stand at the side, where she was trying to pull on his hair and Loki could see Thor hissing a little at her cold hands. She was like cuddling an ice cube for him but Thor seemed to deal fine as he winced then chuckled as she gurgled loudly, succeeding to tug on a tiny fistful of his long hair.

Odin stood up and addressed Loki, any feeling from their earlier 'chat' now shoved away and replaced with a stoic demeanour, all about being professional and neutral.

"Loki Laufeyson." He boomed to him and the rest of the witnesses of the courts. "The time has come to set your final sentence. From here the decision will not be changed." Loki didn't look around him but he could feel the any eyes boring into his back. They already knew his fate; it was they who had to approve the decision beforehand. Loki shifted, just subtly, keeping his reserve strong and unfazed.

"After everything, there are no more chances that I can give to you Loki but maybe you can consider this somewhat close to one. Your execution date will be set after Kalda turns six, as it was intended. However, come this time, you will be sent to a final trial, in front of the courts and placed under Ørgrandr Fróðleikr (honest magic). You will be asked one, rather simple question. Do you feel remorse for your crimes?" Odin was looking directly at him but Loki kept himself in check.

"Your response will then either condemn your sentence or redeem it. You will only be given one chance to answer and said answer will be the final word to your sentence. Should you answer in the positive, to be able to say that you do, in fact, feel remorse for your actions, the execution aspect of your sentence will be removed. Should you answer in the negative, or are proven to be lying, then your sentence will be carried out shortly after said trial takes place." Loki looked over to see Thor, doing his best to keep Kalda quiet but she was set on making as much noise as physically possible right now, which Loki was actually thankful for. Without her noises the hall would be eerily quiet.

"In the mean time, you will remain bound to the palace grounds, as will your daughter. It's only a matter of time until Jotunheim catch wind of her existence and there is no telling what they will do. Know that should this become a reality, she will be protected as any daughter of the prince would be." Loki frowned slightly for a moment before he understood. Of course, she was Thor's daughter too, it's not like he was referring to Loki himself. Odin stepped forward a bit more, looking Loki directly in the eyes.

"You have a rather long time to be able to think over your life, your crimes, your chance to turn around and redeem yourself and it is quite a big chance indeed. I would suggest that you do not waste it."

...

"What did I say?" Loki said, turning round as he strolled, almost cockily, back into Thor's chambers, turning to face the older god, who still had a Jotun baby half hanging off his hair. Thor looked up at his questioningly. "I'm going to die."

"No Loki, were you not listening? That's not what father was saying. Obviously he cannot just let you off without punishment, regardless of circumstances, so this is the closest thing he could do. All you have to do is tell them that you're sorry for what you did and your execution will be cancelled."

"I don't believe it is quite that simple Thor. I will be placed under Ørgrandr Fróðleikr, very old magic, not something that you can trick or lie to."

Thor frowned. "So don't lie, surely you can't still believe what you did was right!"

"I did what I was driven to do, I will not apologise for that!"

"Your stubbornness will cost you your life Loki! Think about this, think about your daughter, she needs a mother..."

"Don't you dare bring her into this!" Loki spat. "I will not be made to feel guilty for this. She wouldn't even exist if you had just let me die in the first place, then there would be no daughter to leave motherless when I am inevitably executed anyway!"

"Are you saying that you wish she didn't exist?" Loki seemed to sag a little upon hearing the context of his question. He looked down, sighing, frustrated.

"You have to agree, it would be easier if she didn't, if only on her. She never needed to be brought up in all of this, family issues and hatred. She's doomed for corruption as it is." Loki walked up to Thor to take Kalda from him. Thor let him and watched as he walked off towards the washroom with her. He could only hope that Loki saw sense over the time he had, to understand what he did was wrong and to feel bad, to regret his actions.

Loki closed the door behind him and Thor knew that he would take his time in there so he decided to just call it a night and go to bed.

Loki stripped both himself and Kalda down once the water was full. It was freezing cold but he knew that she would like it. He shredded down his glamour, stepping into the cold water, feeling the calm wash over him as he sat down. He lay back in the bath, lying Kalda across his chest so that her head rested on his shoulder, her face angled towards his neck.

The water came up to cover her body like a blanket and once he had her in a comfortable position, he relaxed himself, tilting his head so he could look down at her, stroking her ear with the tips of his fingers, smiling at her little sigh as she lay still. Everything was quiet except for the occasional sounds of movement in water when Loki shifted a little. Kalda was soon asleep and Loki stayed, allowing the water to wash away his thoughts and worries for today.

He had about five and a half years before his execution. He didn't know if he would feel remorse by then, though he doubted it. He agrees that he could have done it better, since his original attempt had been messy, not well planned and doomed to fail. He still believed that his actions were right though, or his reasoning at least. Everyone talks about his wrongdoings and how he has to pay but no one points out the fact that he was wronged himself, but he deserved no compensation for that, no one cared about that.

Loki wasn't going to fret about it, though he figured, he might be driven to kill Thor if the man didn't let it drop. He would live; he would raise Kalda, teach her what he could before his time was up and then it would be up to Thor and hopefully his mother to make her into a respectful young woman, protect her, and destroy anything that would attempt to cause her harm, just as Loki would.


End file.
